ADD Support Thread II - Page 5

[Maggirayne]

Originally Posted by babycarrot

Seriously, give it a try, I was amazed that it helped me out drastically! I would set a couple reasonable goals to achieve like 1. unload and reload dishwasher, 2. declutter for 15 minutes, 3. gather up dirty clothes and put them into washer. Then I would allow myself to ONLY check email. NO clicking on embedded links or opening web browser. Just quick scan of inbox to see if family or friends had any news. Then I'd FORCE myself to turn off computer and go back to follow up on stuff like re-emptying dishwasher, putting wet clothes into dryer, and spend quality time with DD. That would fill up the morning pretty nicely then we'd have lunch and I could geek around on the forums and flickr or whatnot until DH got home and I had to get going on figuring out dinner stuff and getting DD ready for bed. After she was asleep I might fold the dried clothes or something but mostly I'd be so relieved that i made it through another day that I'd practically run to my computer and 'plug in' to reward myself


She didn't really share this with me until I moved out and got married, but my mom never really forgave herself for not doing more. She thought she should have home schooled me. I bounced from private school to public school and back and forth again and she kept hoping the schools would come through with their promises to look out for me but blames herself for my unhappiness because it seems like she thought she wasn't a good enough advocate for me. I have hugged her and told her so many times that her unconditional love has meant more to me than the help of any teacher in school ever could. I wish she would be happy about how things have turned out. Does anyone have something similar going on in their life?

I have been doing better today. I checked email while eating breakfast, got off, called my mom, started cleaning stuff the bathroom sink.
I volunteered to host our couples' Bible study, so I wouldn't just quit.

I took stuff to Plato's closet Saturday and need to take leftover rummage sale stuff to Once Upon a Child this afternoon.

Wow, your mom sounds cool, even if she didn't do everything possible, it does sound like she tried advocating for you!

So my Today list:
Clean bathroom--and I broke it down, lol!
Did scrub the toilet as soon as I got up, hehe
Fold laundry
Put clothes in baskets/in bedroom away
Post a bunch of stuff on Freecycle
Call dentists (I'm not happy with the one we are seeing next week, he's the only ped dentist, but automatically said night-wean and here's fluoride)

[smeisnotapirate]

Ok, so this week will be interesting.

DH left this morning for Scranton for work, so I get to be a SINGLE MOM (dum dum dum... dramatic reverb) to DS (9mo) from today through Thursday.

My babysitter for tonight cancelled because of the snow (our 30lb dog was up to her @$$ in snow this morning) and schools around here are cancelled, so I had to cancel my Hebrew lessons for tonight. I'm holding them over the phone - which should be interesting - but at least I don't have to get out of my PJs and I can nurse Toby if he gets cranky and hungry.

The rest of the week will be interesting. I'm trying not to freak out - I'm going to wake up early and get to bed early, because when I stay up late, I freak out about how much has to be done the next day and that's never good.

So yeah. Words of wisdom and encouragement are always appreciated.

[Maggirayne]

Oh my word, ITU the staying awake late thinking and thinking. I have to get up someitmes and write stuff down, or I lie there and obsess and get no sleep. Yay, crabby me the next day.

I've got the sink half cleared off/sorted, shoved into the drawer or under, which is next.
DH is home, so I really should eat lunch, but pizza gives me heartburn, but maybe he'll make me a PB&J. :heartthrob He's great, and pleased I'm motivated about cleaning/decluttering--after three years of being married!

So, what do you need to do this afternoon, Sara? Wanna check in at, oh, 2:30?

[BlueStateMama]

Originally Posted by journeymom

Yeah, that word 'filters' is interesting. The mood regulator I take obviously takes care of my anxiety to some extent. Without it I felt like a big walking, talking raw nerve all the time. It's like I'm at the mercy of everything coming at me, no way to slow it down so I can process it.

But I've been wondering how an anti-anxiety med would feel, would it be more effective? Because the mood regulator is a fairly crude instrument: it limits my depression but it also limits how happy and energized I can be. :

I take Wellbutrin for depression, and it's very helpful. Maybe an anti-anxiety med would work a little more delicately and specifically than the mood regulator.

My current "cocktail" has been helpful. I have profound anxiety/panic disorder and ADD. Symptomatically I had difficulty focusing on one task (scattered - I'd start one thing, then get distracted and shift, so I have trouble completing tasks), I'd get overstimulated easily - too much chaos/noise/people overwhelm me. My thoughts raced. When I got overwhelmed, I shut down. If something felt like too big a project, I procrastinated horribly. Plus I was very anxious - for example, even doing fun things, my mind would go to worst possible scenerio (like a fire, a simple amusement park ride derailing, etc) and I'd be unable to enjoy things because I was worried. Panic attacks pretty randomly.

So, Lexapro (small dose, just 10 mgs) helped with that nagging general anxiety. The ADD meds (adderall and strattera) have helped me focus. If I have a panic attack (rare, now) I have ativan on hand.

The way it was explained to me is that ADD is a spectrum type disorder. Mine is sort of a 3-type combo - the overwhelmed feeling/scattered/racing thoughts, then the anxiety (like I said, ADD is my brain missing the "filter" that "normal" people have. Most people can walk around and tune out stuff, it all hits me at once. The meds have helped put that filter back in place - I don't feel anxious and panicky when I'm around crowds, chaos (like kids' B-Day parties - those used to really take their toll - now I don't feel so "bombarded.) The last part in my case is the impulsivity/irritability.

My doc added the Gaba because I was getting super frustrated and felt like I was going from 1 to 10 when I got mad - I felt incredible irritable/irritated. I was concerned about side-effects, but apparently they're dose-dependant. She said we'd back off if I had any of the clumsy/fuzzy effects - so far, none. I've been a lot more patient - basically just more reasonable. I'm not losing my patience with my children so easily. I feel a lot more in control of my emotions.

I thinks meds are very much a science and an art. I approach mental health very much from a neurotransmitter/brain chemistry standpoint and I think a lot of my issues were related to that. You can be the smartest person in the world, but you can't just will imbalances away, IMO. I'd be a horrible Scientologist!!


The way I explained how the meds function to my DH was that they give me the ability to stop myself, for example when I'm working on a task and I start to lose focus to just catch myself - I realize now when I'm getting off-track and I can pull back. I still have the impulse to scatter, but I can reel myself in, if that makes sense. I feel like I have more control over myself now.

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Maggirayne

So, what do you need to do this afternoon, Sara? Wanna check in at, oh, 2:30?

ACK! That only gives me an hour!

Nah, I'm pretty proud of myself. I've had 2 meals today (cooking is really tough when it's just me) and managed to not just go out and spend money (because of the snow, of course, but I'll chalk it up to diligence and infinite restraint).

I'd like to fold the laundry and get the living room straightened up, but I'm not sure exactly how long that will take.

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by BlueStateMama

My doc added the Gaba because I was getting super frustrated and felt like I was going from 1 to 10 when I got mad - I felt incredible irritable/irritated. I was concerned about side-effects, but apparently they're dose-dependant. She said we'd back off if I had any of the clumsy/fuzzy effects - so far, none. I've been a lot more patient - basically just more reasonable. I'm not losing my patience with my children so easily. I feel a lot more in control of my emotions.

That's what I'm talking about. I started Depakot when I found I was out of control angry all the time, 1 to 10 in no time flat, as you say. All the time at everyone. Gabapentin sounds interesting.

The way I explained how the meds function to my DH was that they give me the ability to stop myself, for example when I'm working on a task and I start to lose focus to just catch myself - I realize now when I'm getting off-track and I can pull back. I still have the impulse to scatter, but I can reel myself in, if that makes sense. I feel like I have more control over myself now.

Yes, this too. The Wellbutrin helped somewhat here, but the Depakot was seriously a miracle in this regard. After a few years I transitioned to Lamictal hoping for something a little more subtle, and it is.

=========

I've already tried gabapentin (neurontin).

[smeisnotapirate]

Laundry's folded, and it's time to work!

[Maggirayne]

Aww, sorry you're sick, journeymom.

Hehe, at 2:30 I thought DD was going to be asleep for a while. Sigh. Nope, 20 minutes and woke when I lay down on the bed with her. head

But, I got the floor in the bathroom cleared and can sweep and mop, eventually. DD discovered bubbles, so after I sweep tomorrow, we'll blow bubbles in the bathroom. Then mop up the floor.

I got all the stuff on top of the sink sorted. Need to sort the plastic drawers in the linen closet and find homes for some of the stuff. I need a good way to store my jewelry. I have jewelry boxes buried on my dresser, but each one only holds a little. My g-ma loooooved jewelry, and so I have a lot of pretty things. And now I've started beading. . .oh dear.

So bathroom partly done. I did get some wire racks I got free at a yardsale cleaned up, they were all sticky. So I can use them now! I had them soak in the tub and had to scrub them--with help of course!
I ran a load of laundry, and have to go out and do 2-3 things, depending on time. Will leave a note asking DH to hang the laundry.
Oh, I got those collapsible mesh bags, an attached pair for darks and lights for our bedroom. The basket I had, had been broken when I got it. I am such a scrap collector.

Supper: We're going out with IL's and aunt and uncle. So I don't have to fix it! :

I hate fixing meals when DH is gone. I'll make a big dish of something and eat that for at least one meal for several days. I love French toast. Easy and DD likes it! I can't think of any other suggestions that would be kosher, I do enchiladas and a chicken and sour cream and soup dish. Oh, what about curry and rice?

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by Maggirayne

Aww, sorry you're sick, journeymom.

Hehe, at 2:30 I thought DD was going to be asleep for a while. Sigh. Nope, 20 minutes and woke when I lay down on the bed with her. head

But, I got the floor in the bathroom cleared and can sweep and mop, eventually. DD discovered bubbles, so after I sweep tomorrow, we'll blow bubbles in the bathroom. Then mop up the floor.

I got all the stuff on top of the sink sorted. Need to sort the plastic drawers in the linen closet and find homes for some of the stuff. I need a good way to store my jewelry. I have jewelry boxes buried on my dresser, but each one only holds a little. My g-ma loooooved jewelry, and so I have a lot of pretty things. And now I've started beading. . .oh dear.

So bathroom partly done. I did get some wire racks I got free at a yardsale cleaned up, they were all sticky. So I can use them now! I had them soak in the tub and had to scrub them--with help of course!
I ran a load of laundry, and have to go out and do 2-3 things, depending on time. Will leave a note asking DH to hang the laundry.
Oh, I got those collapsible mesh bags, an attached pair for darks and lights for our bedroom. The basket I had, had been broken when I got it. I am such a scrap collector.

Supper: We're going out with IL's and aunt and uncle. So I don't have to fix it! :

I hate fixing meals when DH is gone. I'll make a big dish of something and eat that for at least one meal for several days. I love French toast. Easy and DD likes it! I can't think of any other suggestions that would be kosher, I do enchiladas and a chicken and sour cream and soup dish. Oh, what about curry and rice?

Mmmmm... curry and rice sounds good! Recipe?

I made spaghetti and roasted garlic tonight. It's yummy.

Earthly quandry: why is it that 12 year olds, even when faced with a MAJOR project, don't practice?

Second quandry: why are these parents not enforcing some sort of practice time? I'm sick of hearing "Well, Moshe is SOOOOOOOO busy and didn't practice much." Like it's an excuse!

[Maggirayne]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

Mmmmm... curry and rice sounds good! Recipe?

I made spaghetti and roasted garlic tonight. It's yummy.

Earthly quandry: why is it that 12 year olds, even when faced with a MAJOR project, don't practice?

Second quandry: why are these parents not enforcing some sort of practice time? I'm sick of hearing "Well, Moshe is SOOOOOOOO busy and didn't practice much." Like it's an excuse!

Okay! I love making this!

Curry and Rice

Put rice on to cook. I like brown rice, it takes a little longer.

Put about a tablespoon of oil in wok or deep frying pan.
Mince garlic and onion and saute'. Add meat. I use deer, but you can usse anything you want, really. When meat is fully cooked, add curry powder or paste. (ou can make your own, the main ingredient is tumeric, then you add cumin, coriander, pepper, not sure what else, I haven't tried it.
You can add potatoes, carrots, celery, any veggies you want, I don't go with tomatoes unless I'm doing a tomato curry, I like coconut milk better, generally and don't do much veggies. When it's as thick adn veggies done as much as you like, serve over rice!

[babycarrot]

Just wanted to share that I'm back on my multi-vitamin and starting on Fish Oils
Still working on the dosage for the Fish Oil but at least I'm getting myself on the right track ON MY OWN!

Happy to not feel like someone's lab rat

[heidirk]

well, I'm behind my schoolwork this week. There was just NOT enough time to get all the reading done. But I got full credit (100%) for last week's work, despite the rough start. But Wednesday night, I was trying to read, and by 11:20 I was falling asleep in my book, and still had 65pages of names and dates to read. I gave up, I thought, the kids need a semi-rested momma, and I have Eli on Thursdays, too. So there we were.

Then, last night DH stayed up with me, and I finally finished last nights assignemnts at 1:15 a.m. Which still counts as on time, if I [post it before 2:00 a.m.

I took extra B-50 and Omega threes yesterday, and it did give me the lift I needed to get through the day. But I'm choosing to be foggy and slow today, because chemically my body needs the rest. Even going low-ke today, I should be able to complete Tuesday's assignment, finish the reading and do today's assignment. I hope!

Oy, am I tired.

I am not going to do laundry today, although I have kept ahead of it this week! There are NO piles in my bathroom hallway!

I could use an easy recipe for tonight though, and I forgot to thaw the roast I was going to do today. I knew I'd forget that. :

Maggirayne- I did that computer test too, and I fell asleep several times during the test. :

I made a chicken Balti the other night that I'll have to try again. It had real potential, but I was missing some ingredients, so I kinda fudged it.

BlueStateMama-I'm with you on the chemical imbalance side of things. I wrote a paper for my ministry class klats year about anxiety not always being a faith issue, YK?

[heidirk]

How's everybody doing?



I got caught up on my work, and had a talk with the professor, who was very encouraging, I didn't talk about having ADD though, that just gets too complicated.

I have quite a bit of reading to do today.

I finally thawed my roast last night! SO into the crockpot it goes in about 2 hours. I have some Pilaf I'll make with it.

Here's my wish list for today-

Reading
laundry
vacuum
tidy up
play with kids/go outside
find a better fitting cover for Milo's CD's

tomorrow-
finish reading
write summary
wash floors(kitchen/LR/Bathroom)
make something for Church wednesday night

I don't know if it's do-able or not, but I'll take a crack at it, I guess.

[Maggirayne]

How was everyone's weekend?

I got to sew again, took like two hours and made a baby to go with Elisabeth's Waldorf dolly.

Then Sunday afternoon, I sewed like mad and made a pair of babylegs out of Valentine's socks, two large soakers for nighttime, which are too small--over undies--my baby's growing! and a little doll pillow out of my fleece scraps. all that in 2 1/2 hours. But I was making up the baby doll as I went along, and it's about 3 inches tall, lol!

My cousin gave me two garbage bags of raw wool. (Insert smilie rubbing hands and plotting!) I was thinking of trying to sell some dyed/carded roving, but I think if I'm doing all that I might as well do something for us with it--needle-felted play food anyone? I am resisting getting into spinning--in a few years!

Sara, lest you be wishing for a girl again, you don't have to have a girl to sew. boys can play with dolls, and you can make clothes for him.

Heidi, I typed up a quick recipe for you Friday, and my computer ate it. Sigh. Here it is:

Put 2-4 frozen chicken breasts in a 9 x 13. Cover with 16 oz. container of sour cream (or less, it makes a lot of 'gravy') and 1 can of cream of chicken/celery/etc. Bake at 350 for an hour. You can throw potatoes in the microwave, I do them in water, or put them in at the same time as the chicken, spray/brush with oil and sprinkle with salt. Add a can of green beans, and you're good.

Beats frozen pizza, IMO, but does take a little more time, but doesn't need defrosting.

Oh, and I sprinkle various spices over the chicken. Once I laid sliced bacon over the chicken.

[Maggirayne]

I stopped in the middle of posting to feed us breakfast. I need to plan what I'm doing.

Oh, I've been selling some stuff I don't need/am getting rid of, diaper/covers/wool sweaters/rummage sale stuff/Once Upon a Child, and have gotten $40!

Wash wool (soooo not a priority, but boy, am I excited!)
Run pee laundry--started!
Rearrange kitchen counter
Load dishwasher
Unpack--move weekend stuff out of LR

Take stuff to thriftstore

[mamabohl]

wow, that's a lot of wool!

I've been MIA for a bit - we've been really busy! Only 11 days left until we move.

Today I need to make some phone calls - turning on the utilities and askin Barnes and Noble for boxes, etc. And I'd like to finish decluttering and start labeling yard sale stuff. We'll see how much of that i get done.

[smeisnotapirate]

DH and I have been talking about how we want our kids spaced. Any of you want to give me advice for spacing from an ADD perspective? Everyone's telling me that if I wait until DS is like 40, I won't be so overwhelmed.

No, really. I'm getting a lot of "wait til he's 3 or 4" advice that I don't think is spectacular advice for me. I don't know if I could stand getting one out of diapers only to have another in diapers. I think I'd rather deal with them in one fell swoop.

Hi, mamabohl!

[mamabohl]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

DH and I have been talking about how we want our kids spaced. Any of you want to give me advice for spacing from an ADD perspective? Everyone's telling me that if I wait until DS is like 40, I won't be so overwhelmed.

No, really. I'm getting a lot of "wait til he's 3 or 4" advice that I don't think is spectacular advice for me. I don't know if I could stand getting one out of diapers only to have another in diapers. I think I'd rather deal with them in one fell swoop.

Hi, mamabohl!

For me, my first 2 were exactly 2.5 years apart and it was way way too close together. A lot of that was them both being high needs too though.... I found that at 2.5 my older ds still wanted me to carry him all.the.time...but once younger ds was born I had to hold him all the time because he was always crying and never slept. It was really hard for older ds, our relationship really suffered for a long time. I was extremely overwhelmed and had really bad PPD. I was a really bad mom for a long time and all that eventually led us to deciding not to have any more kids (oops, lol). Also older ds stopped napping and potty trained within the first 6 months of younger ds' life...it was really hard to go through those transitions while taking care of a needy baby.

Now, when this baby is born older ds will be 7 and younger ds will be over 4.5. They are both way past potty training and naping, they can be left alone (while I'm in another room, taking a shower, whatever) without me worrying, niether needs to be carried anymore, etc. I feel like it will be easier because they can do a lot themselves. Plus they are both very excited about the baby. I am working on getting them more autonomous too, teaching older ds to use the toaster and microwave, teaching younger ds to pour a glass of water and dress himself, etc.

I know some people who also have a hard time with the baby stage and choose to have them really close together and get it all over with as quickly as possible. I could sort of see it being easier to have them only a year apart or something - they'd both still be napping and nursing and it would be possible to baby wear both of them together, etc. With all that i could see being able to sit and nurse two at a time, to nap with them together, etc. BUT I would also see the older sibling not understanding what's going on, being resentful, hurting baby, possibly weaning too early because of drying up, etc.

I have also read that ADD moms should only have 1 or 2 kids because it's even more overwhelming for us and that they should be further spaced.

HTH!

[jessjgh1]

My 2 are spaced about 3 1/2 years and it was still quite overwhelming, even though dd is very laid back. It's more stressful now than when she was younger because now that she's moble is when there is the conflict.
I sometimes think waiting till one is school aged would be even more ideal... but if you are homeschooling that doesn't work. (I would be way too overwhelmed with homeschoolng).

However, if finances and work concerns also influence your decisoin, one could make the arguement that haveing a 2nd child at less spacing and investing in a cleaning service or other help might be finacially cheaper than waiting even more years to space children. So invest in help for 2 years then when your oldest child is 5 (or whatever age) you'd go back to work (which would be earlier). So my math would be, for example: 2 kids spaced at 5 years apart is 10 years out of the workforce. 2 kids spaced at 4 years apart is 8 years out of the workforce....
I can't even imagine having 3 young children. I'm sure I'd adjust somehow, but I can't help thinking how stressful it would be.

Ah, gotta get lunch and go so we're not more late...

Jessica

[Maggirayne]

Wash wool 2 lbs done, debating starting another batch (I took pictures of the steps, will post on my Facebook.
Run pee laundry--need to fold and run DH's laundry
Rearrange kitchen counter--Done!--well, half, but it's really nice!
Load dishwasher--Sigh, sweet DH did--I could unload it
Unpack--move weekend stuff out of LR--oops
Need to send some emails, prep for Natural Mamas group Thursday night

Take stuff to thriftstore--call friend who I've given some stuff to already
Make soup for supper/tomorrow's lunch--gotta thaw the deer. . .I wonder if I have lentils. I made a yummy Bacon-Lentil-Venison soup last fall.

Originally Posted by mamabohl

wow, that's a lot of wool!

I've been MIA for a bit - we've been really busy! Only 11 days left until we move.

Are you having your own yardsale? It's really easy to say everything $1 or .50 and then only price stuff you want more for.

Oh boy, moving--good luck decluttering and getting packed up, wish I could help! B&N--good idea for boxes! Beats beer boxes--if you mind them.

It is a bunch. I only got 1/4 of a bag done yesterday! And still need to spin water out of some.

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

DH and I have been talking about how we want our kids spaced. Any of you want to give me advice for spacing from an ADD perspective? Everyone's telling me that if I wait until DS is like 40, I won't be so overwhelmed.

You could try babysitting two at a time for several months, that might be a good indicator. I didn't like it after a few months. But I didn't have patience for someone else's kid. Had marginally more for my own. It made a huge difference when she started STTN, and I hit 2nd tri all at the same.

Yeah, it really depends on your ability to deal with stress/toddler. I saw your VBAC thread, and it's, uh, sidetrack. But Elisabeth was easier when she was littler. Being pregnant and dealing with a toddler--I have so not been a gentle mama. But, I think I'll like them close when they are older. It really helps that she has potty-trained on her own, and nightweaned and is sleeping bedtime to wakeup without nursing at all, not even early morning. I'm wondering how much that will last once baby (and milk) are here, but I do not want to nurse them both at night, esp. since she can STTN w/o nursing.
I really didn't like my milk drying up around 24 weeks, even tho' she was 20 mos.

I can see it being really hard this next year. DH and I both want a bunch, so we'll see.

Oh, mostly because of the weaning, but just general stress/dealing with toddler, I already don't want to TTC until this one, #2, is 2 yo. Of course, maybe the two of them will play a lot.