Feelings of guilt with membrane sweeping?

[bauchtanz]

I am 38, nearly 39 weeks.
My last Pg I only made it to 36 when I was medically induced for Pre-eclampsia and had a horrible experince with everything from Mag Sulfite to pitocin.
It was odd, because that pregnancy was actually very enjoyable, even when I was on bedrest.

This pregnancy has not been fun. Much morning sickness until a few months ago, I am MUCH larger, even for a 2nd pregnancy.
I am barely able to walk because this kid is sitting directly on my nerves in my legs, the other day I thought I was going to have to crawl to the bathroom at work!
I went into the hospital a week and a 1/2 ago because I thought I was leaking amino fluid. Not so, however my midwife suggested I quit working (had been sick for a few days in addtion to all this). I was 2 cent and 50% effaced then.I can take off when the baby comes, but other than that, I have no extra time off and Dh is in the middle of a layoff / plant shut down / uncertianity / stuff at his work.
On Tuesday I went in for a normal appointment, and, was 3 cent and 50-70% effaced at 38 weeks. She suggested that on next Monday that she strip my membranes at 39 1/2 weeks. (She also suggested I quit working)

I am really small, and the possible size of this child has me freaked out. DD who was early was 5 lbs 6 oz, but most family members were huge 8 pound children (I am super tiny). Or more.
Although i have had normal BP the whole time, this appointment it spiked and would not come down, so off I was sent to L&D. It did come down there, but, I now have to go in for BP checks like before - but no pre-e so far.

Part of me really realy wants my membranes swept, but, as my mom pointed out, there is no medical reason. Sure, I would be able to arrange childcare that has been sketchy and the next week my DH would be off work due to plant shut down (he would get unemployment, otherwise he gets nothing for paternity leave and I hate to have him sit around with no baby). And I would be able to stand for longer than 5 minutes.

If they sweep them, I have to stay at the hospital (this was going to be a hospital birth anyway) and if I don't progress, then I would have no choice but once again the pitocin.

I am having contractions, but they are not regular spaced and as intense as labor (actually, they are more like menstrual cramps, not like the ones that took over my whole belly last time). I can't "walk" to induce labor since I can barely get up to do anything and totally can't stand for more than 5 minutes. The thought of sex makes me ill, and I am hesitant about using herbs (if I coudl even find them in my tiny town).

So as of now, I have talked myself out of it, however, I feel so torn, yet guilty that I am torn.
Ack.:

[justKate]

Part of me really really wants my membranes swept, but, as my mom pointed out, there is no medical reason.

It sounds to me like you have some significant medical concerns at least, and the degree of your discomfort/unhappiness right now is a valid consideration! Don't feel guilty--you should do what you think is best for you and your baby--which might mean a little encouragement. I had my membranes swept twice this week (today is my due date) and it did nothing, so I don't think it will do anything for you if your body isn't ready. Of course someone please correct me if I'm wrong! And if you do decide to wait, you can always revisit the idea next week....

All you can do is try to make the decision that's best for your situation, and don't worry about the rest of it! Good luck with your decision.

[LionTigerBear]

Just had to comment on the size thing-- I am 5'1" and I birthed an 8 pound, 9 oz. baby much more easily than his 7 pound brother-- very easily. Size really isn't much of a factor-- your body is almost infinitely stretchy and mushy down there. Really. the bones are made to seperate and come apart as much as necessary during labor-- they split and separate right down the center and then come together again after birth-- and of course all of the skin parts stretch pretty easily.

So don't worry about baby size.

Besides, size of your belly is very little indicator of size of baby. My smallest baby was my biggest belly.

[LionTigerBear]

P.S. I actually think that you should listen to your "guilt". Is it really guilt or more of an uncomfortable feeling-- like this isn't quite right but you feel you have no better choice? Plus you are kind of sick of being pregnant (boy aren't we all!) and so you feel "guilty". It sounds to me like you know that the thing that would be most ideal for your baby-- and for your own health- is to stop working for now and just take it easy and let baby take his/her time. Your body isn't really ready yet-- getting ready, yes, but that doesn't mean it's ready.

But you feel that you cannot stop working right now-- if I understand correctly-- and so this seems like your next best option, which is why you want to go for it-- kind of like you are compromising. Only you can weight the gravity of your misgivings, but I have to say I always suggest giving weight to your intuition-- which seems to be telling you NOt to do this. I have never regreted trusting my intuition but I have regretted times I didn't trust it. Also, making a decision based on fear, or based on feeling stuck in a certain situation, is not usually a great way to live your life, because you will constantly be settling for less and never really fulfilling your dreams.

Look, I don't think there is anything wrong with sweeping/stripping the membranes in the right circumstance! Not at all. It's not a very intrusive procedure (although it's odd that they would insist on inducing you with pitocin if it didn't take-- I've never heard of this policy even with mainstream docs-- and I don't like that at all). However I do think that you need to make yourself, your health and you baby's health a priority, not your work. It seems that you are allowing yourself to be a slave to your work. But only YOU know what the right thing is to do-- so good luck! Go with your gut!

[Mrsboyko]

Why are they going to make you stay after a simple sweep? They are not breaking the weater, so there is no risk of infection. Most people don't go into labor right after the sweep, even IF it does work. It can take a while. So, I'd say, get it done if you want to, but insist that you are allowed to leave till things start happening. That is unless you are looking for an induction really, and that to is your choice.

[JesiLynne]

Originally Posted by LionTigerBear

Just had to comment on the size thing-- I am 5'1" and I birthed an 8 pound, 9 oz. baby much more easily than his 7 pound brother-- very easily. Size really isn't much of a factor-- your body is almost infinitely stretchy and mushy down there. Really. the bones are made to seperate and come apart as much as necessary during labor-- they split and separate right down the center and then come together again after birth-- and of course all of the skin parts stretch pretty easily.

So don't worry about baby size.

Besides, size of your belly is very little indicator of size of baby. My smallest baby was my biggest belly.

5 foot 1 here and as well and my 8 pound 14 ouncer was easier than my 6 pounder. This baby is looking to be over 9 pounds ( midwife and perinatologist predictions.)

I can understand how miserable you must be. I would just hang their as best you can. I understand how hard it is. But there is always a reason for babies to stay in. I needed convincing of that last week, I was just a wreck.

I have question as well, why the hospital stay for a sweep ?????


I had my membranes swept yesterday, but I'm overdue now, without any question of my dates.

[birthworks]

Hugs to you. I am sorry you are having a hard time. I would second what the other women have said and just try to be patient. I had my membranes swept with my first and I totally regret it. I didn't have him for another week but it started me into really nasty prodromal labor....he was posterior and I didn't know it. When labor did finally start he was still posterior and it took a long hard day to get him to turn. Not only that but he had major digestive issues that lasted for months. I am 100% convinced that had he just stayed put until HE was ready, my labor would have been totally different (because he would have been in a good position) and his digestive track would have had the extra time to mature. I know there are sometimes reasons to hurry our babes along which you've experienced but when there aren't any, babies are smart and come when they need to. That said, I know you are miserable so I hope your little one decides to come on its own and SOON!

[birthworks]

Hugs to you. I am sorry you are having a hard time. I would second what the other women have said and just try to be patient. I had my membranes swept with my first and I totally regret it. I didn't have him for another week but it started me into really nasty prodromal labor....he was posterior and I didn't know it. When labor did finally start he was still posterior and it took a long hard day to get him to turn. Not only that but he had major digestive issues that lasted for months. I am 100% convinced that had he just stayed put until HE was ready, my labor would have been totally different (because he would have been in a good position) and his digestive track would have had the extra time to mature. I know there are sometimes reasons to hurry our babes along which you've experienced but when there aren't any, babies are smart and come when they need to. That said, I know you are miserable so I hope your little one decides to come on its own and SOON!

[bauchtanz]

Update

Well, this afternoon I called my midwife's office because I had regular contractions that had started yesterday and gotten more intense to today. BEcause I was more than 2 (have been for a while) they told me to go into L&D. Surprisingly, they kept me because I had progressed they thought between now and on Tuesday when I was last examined. My contractions were fairly regular, however, they never got more intense, and, I didn't dialate further, so, I was sent home. I left at 3-4 cent and about 80% effaced.

So, I am not calling again until I am about ready to push I think because it sounds like they tell you almost always to come in, for legal reasons (this is what the nurse said). Since my last birth was fast (although on pitocin) I was nervous about just ignoring contractions, but apparently I am moving slower than last time.

Not sure about the membrane sweeping thing. I do know that I have heard this hospital is exceedingly medical. I was surprisd to find a CNM working there. Small rural area.
I am wondering if her comment came from how I phrased the question. Maybe she did say break my water and I mis-heard her. We didn't discuss it at great length because we were going to do that at my next appointment on Monday.

Anyway - as of now I won't be doing any CNM based inducements, however, they suggested when I left the hospital to walk alot and have sex. So, I am going to go try some of that since my parents have taken our daughter for the night.

Hopefully something will happen and I won't have to go into work tomorrow. Otherwise I will just wait like everyone else!

[onelilguysmommy]

Originally Posted by bauchtanz

Anyway - as of now I won't be doing any CNM based inducements, however, they suggested when I left the hospital to walk alot and have sex. So, I am going to go try some of that since my parents have taken our daughter for the night.

then stop letting them put their hands in you. they could "whoops" or just do it.