4-year old just diagnosed with phimosis today. Please help? - Page 5

[Ask a man]

I just realized the last post before mine was made in April of 2009. Still, I hope someone sees this.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by Ask a man 

I stumbled onto this while using Google to do some research. And while I am impressed by the number of sources cited and the lengthy posts, I feel the need to say some things here since I actually have a penis attached to me. Many of the previous posts seem very opinionated.

To the person who is having trouble with the doctor,

Yes definitely get a second opinion. if you only have one child and he is a male, then preferably go to a male doctor. i mean no offense towards women. But you are definitely not penis experts and a male doctor will in most cases, though not all will have more sensitivity when handling this condition. (very fine female doctors exist, and very inexperienced male doctors exist as well) I am in no way meaning to be biased. But let's face it men have more experience with the organ being discussed here. Also I never went to a pediatrician as a child. I went to a very fine family physician. I never understood why people go to pediatricians. I would suggest maybe even talking to a Urologist. edit: No I would definitely see a Urologist or maybe even two. Remember your young man's penis is going to be one of the most important things in his life. Don't let just anybody mess it up or damage it.

To those discussing the retracting of foreskin,

I am in no way an expert on this subject seeing as how I was circumcised as a child. It seems that many people who do not support circumcision have little knowledge of circumcised male genitals while people who support circumcision have little knowledge of uncircumcised male genitals. Only opinions. Really it's not about hygiene or tradition, children get circumcised because most people don't actually think about the matter, they just do what a physician or their peers suggest or their family members had performed.

However my foreskin seems to have grown back and I can tell you that you must keep it clean. Some of you are suggesting that retracting of the foreskin should only happen after puberty or by the child himself. This can not be correct can it? How will you keep it clean? Smegma?

Also some people commented about some pubic hairs on one of the photos discussed in the thread. If the image you all are referring to is this one:

http://www.steadyhealth.com/4542/Image/phimosis.jpg

I don't think that is pubic hair(s). Here is most likely what happened: The picture was probably taken with an actual camera before digital cameras were around. There may have even been dust etc on the lens. Then the film was developed and a picture was printed. Some time later, that actual photograph was scanned and uploaded to the internet. There may have been dust on the scanner or the surface of the original photograph may have been scratched. Having one solitary pubic hair that thick, long, and dark would be unusual.

Again, I mean no disrespect. But no one here should believe that they already know everything about this matter. And please ask your husband if available or another man whom you trust for help with this.

The reason it is correct that no one should retract is because until the foreskin releases it is fused to the glans like the fingernail to the nail bed. When it does release varies greatly from boy to boy and by someone else trying to retract could cause harm to the boy. Only he knows how far is to far. As for cleaning once the boy is retractable have him simply retract, rinse, and replace it is that simple and if the boy isnt old enough to do that on his own then it isnt important to do it for cleaning. Simply swishing in the bath removes smegma and keeps things clean.

Smegma is not inherently dirty woman have it just like men do and sitting in the bath is enough to clean it off. Not sure about the picture you are referring to or where that came up?

I dont know everything but for the last 6 years I have researched and studied the intact penis and why retraction is bad. If you go to the resources sticky there are many threads there that explain it really well.

Like most here I dont know anyone with intact genitals IRL to ask about them so I have relied on this board as well as my own research on the net. If you look at other countries where circ is not the norm and what their Dr's and what they recommend then it is plain to see that retraction by anyone other than the owner of the penis is potentially very damaging and not worth the risk. Only here in the USA will dr's tell you to retract and clean and that has caused a many of a boy to suffer damage and infection that could have been prevented.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Hi AskaMan. I might agree with you if all the men in my life before my children hadn't been circumcised. The fact of the matter is that I do have more knowledge about the intact penis than they do, because I have taken the time to research it. I know what the foreskin is and why it's there. I know the damage circ can cause to the male penis and the harm it can to sexual relations. I understand why no one but the child themselves should retract and that separationg of the foreskin from the shaft can happen at many different ages, as many men do not. So asking my dh about what he thought about circumcision with out having researched it, would have probably lead to my boys being circ'd because all he knew was that it is normally done in the US. After doing the research and sharing that with him, he said he didn't think it was necessary. I wanted facts, not opinions on doing surgery on my child. So, no, just asking a man is not the best option unless that man knows the facts.

[Papai]

Originally Posted by Ask a man 

I stumbled onto this while using Google to do some research. And while I am impressed by the number of sources cited and the lengthy posts, I feel the need to say some things here since I actually have a penis attached to me. Many of the previous posts seem very opinionated.

To the person who is having trouble with the doctor,

Yes definitely get a second opinion. if you only have one child and he is a male, then preferably go to a male doctor. i mean no offense towards women. But you are definitely not penis experts and a male doctor will in most cases, though not all will have more sensitivity when handling this condition. (very fine female doctors exist, and very inexperienced male doctors exist as well) I am in no way meaning to be biased. But let's face it men have more experience with the organ being discussed here. Also I never went to a pediatrician as a child. I went to a very fine family physician. I never understood why people go to pediatricians. I would suggest maybe even talking to a Urologist. edit: No I would definitely see a Urologist or maybe even two. Remember your young man's penis is going to be one of the most important things in his life. Don't let just anybody mess it up or damage it.

To those discussing the retracting of foreskin,

I am in no way an expert on this subject seeing as how I was circumcised as a child. It seems that many people who do not support circumcision have little knowledge of circumcised male genitals while people who support circumcision have little knowledge of uncircumcised male genitals. Only opinions. Really it's not about hygiene or tradition, children get circumcised because most people don't actually think about the matter, they just do what a physician or their peers suggest or their family members had performed.

However my foreskin seems to have grown back and I can tell you that you must keep it clean. Some of you are suggesting that retracting of the foreskin should only happen after puberty or by the child himself. This can not be correct can it? How will you keep it clean? Smegma?

Also some people commented about some pubic hairs on one of the photos discussed in the thread. If the image you all are referring to is this one:

http://www.steadyhealth.com/4542/Image/phimosis.jpg

I don't think that is pubic hair(s). Here is most likely what happened: The picture was probably taken with an actual camera before digital cameras were around. There may have even been dust etc on the lens. Then the film was developed and a picture was printed. Some time later, that actual photograph was scanned and uploaded to the internet. There may have been dust on the scanner or the surface of the original photograph may have been scratched. Having one solitary pubic hair that thick, long, and dark would be unusual.

Again, I mean no disrespect. But no one here should believe that they already know everything about this matter. And please ask your husband if available or another man whom you trust for help with this.

Right. And going by your logic there should be no male gynecologists because none of them know what it's like to have a vagina. This is a silly argument.
 

[SpiderMum]

No, I don't have a penis...but I do have a prepuce! That's what we are discussing here...the prepuce aka clitoral hood or foreskin. In my experience circumcised men know far less about normal male anatomy than most women because they often don't WANT to look into it and possibly have to face that what was done to them in childhood wasn't needed. Meanwhile maternal instinct drives many mothers to protect their children from harm and research circumcision so often the most informed people are in the US on the topic of foreskin are WOMEN.

[Roxswood]

I'm in the UK, its incredibly rare to hear anyone even mention their child's penis here because we just don't mess with them, they're left intact, unwashed (except for just sitting in the bathwater or normal cleaning during diaper changes), untouched.. and funnily enough problems are very rare.

Even adult intact penises don't need much in the way of cleaning, its only a matter of personal preference and maybe consideration towards a partner, but my hubby doesn't do more than shower normally and he never has any problems, and I never have any problems with his cleanliness.

[Spencesmom]

THANK YOU! Thank you for the initial post and for the subsequent replies. My son who will be three in a month, was just diagnosed with balantitis by a doctor in emerg (by sight, no swabs etc...) and prescribed antibiotics. :/
I was told that his phemosis was my fault because I was not slowly retracting him since birth!! I pretty much told him I thought he was insane and that it went against all I had heard from my GP and midwife let alone the studies. He tried to convince me that I was in the wrong and I have been second guessing myself for the past two days despite myself. To see my son in such excruciating pain kills me and I wonder if I'm doing something that might have caused this. It is his first infection and he's been potty trained for over a year now (through the nights for 2months) but that can't be what's the matter can it?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It may be Separation Issues and not an infection at all. Here is a thread http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=764732 if you havnt read it already that explains the difference between separation pain and infection and how some boys have pain during separation and what to do about it when it happens.

BTW your GP and MW are totally right about leaving it alone and the ER Dr. is giving out advice that we know is damaging. You are 100% right and he is 100% wrong.