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At what point are you announcing your news to friends and family? - Page 2

post #21 of 28
Even if I hadn't told my MIL she would have found out anyway. She is the nurse for a different doctor in my doctor's practice. My nurse asked if I told her. She said she would have tried to keep it a secret but was thankful she didn't have to. None of this is helped by my MIL and I having the same first and last name. Once my labs were filed under her name in the computer. Good thing we like each other. She scored me a huge bag of pre-natal vitamin samples.
post #22 of 28
With DD, we planned to wait to tell most people until 12-13 weeks, but I was so sick! I told my boss around 7 weeks and my parents around 8 weeks. I managed to not tell most friends until 12 weeks by just plain avoiding them.

With my second PG I had told some friends and then I miscarried.

So far this time I've only told DH (duh!), my BFF, my midwife, and my TTC boards.
post #23 of 28
We've only told my side of the family. I am VERY close to them, and I HAD to have someone to talk with!! So, just my mom, dad, and two sisters. Soon we will tell DH's side of the family, and a few closest friends!

I am a superstitious person, so I try to keep it somewhat a secret for a while, but then again...I have a really hard time not telling everyone in sight!! So, I go in between and tell just those close people that would support me in the event of a loss.

LOVE having this DDC to come to. Don't know what I would do if I didn't have you ladies to chat with. I would go MAD!!
post #24 of 28
I have had two miscarriages (not in a row) and the last one was just this past December. During that pregnancy my husband had told everyone (including waitresses at restaurants we frequent). At the beginning of January we went into one of the restaurants and the waitress asked if I had found out yet what the sex of the baby was. I had to explain that I had suffered a miscarriage and it was really uncomfortable for her and me. This time around I was adamant to keep it from everyone (even DH because he can't keep a secret). I have told 3 very close girlfriends and I told DH last week. He already spilled the beans to his bosses at work, but I never see them so whatever. I'm going to wait until I can hear a heartbeat to shout it from the rooftops. It is too painful if a loss happens otherwise.
post #25 of 28
With this being #4 for us, I'm not sure people will be super excited for us, so I think I will wait. It's fun to have a little secret between dh and I and we can make all our plans together without our nosey family!

It also makes sense for us to wait because once my 6 and 3 year old know, everyone will!
post #26 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by *smiles* View Post
With this being #4 for us, I'm not sure people will be super excited for us, so I think I will wait. It's fun to have a little secret between dh and I and we can make all our plans together without our nosey family!

It also makes sense for us to wait because once my 6 and 3 year old know, everyone will!
EXACTLY!

We're a bit surprised at the news ourselves and need a bit of time to adjust before taking on the world with the news, dh especially.
post #27 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by TortelliniMama View Post
We've always told family and close friends right away. In general, I feel like it's easier for people to see a m/c as a powerful loss if they knew about the expected baby before they learned about the m/c. Of course, that's not true for everyone, but I think at least some people are less prone to make unthinkingly hurtful comments if the loss feels more like a more real loss to them (as in, they thought they were going to have a new grandchild, and now they won't), rather than a more hypothetical loss (as it might if they didn't know I was pg until after it was over).

For more casual friends and acquaintances, we wait till around 14 weeks. If I wouldn't want to call and tell them after finding out about a loss, I don't want to tell them early. (It's really hard to get cheerful questions about the baby from people who don't know about a m/c.) Another way I look at it is, would I turn to this person for support if something happened? If not, I try to wait.
: Totally.

We told everybody especially close to us the first day. I considered waiting, but I was in shock and it seemed like a good way to try to get used to the idea. Plus DH wanted to. We made an exception to the "would I want to tell them about an mc" rule for the stepkids, because that way we could make sure they heard it from DH, which seemed right. And then, DH also told his extended family... so that wasn't really in the plans, but I don't mind, they live far away anyway. Since then, though, I remind him that we should tell his other friends later.
post #28 of 28
Prologue: I had an early m/c in late December. We had told my inlaws and my parents just before Christmas (the inlaws came for a visit before a month-long trip to Australia, and we had wanted to tell both families at the same time. Then again, I had already told my mom, but DH doesn't know that, and never will. She managed to keep it from my dad, though, which surprised me a bit). It would have been the 2nd GC for my folks and the first for the inlaws. We told our brothers (I have 2, DH has 1) the following day. Then, we had to tell the inlaws about the m/c when they called to tell us all about their trip. we had already told everyone else who knew a few weeks earlier, so it was hard talking about it again. Thankfully, my BIL had already hinted to them what had happened, so they were ready for the news.

This Time: I called my older brother the day after we found out. We are close, and he took the m/c very hard. He doesn't know it, but we're planning for him to be the godfather of the first child. I called my mom a week after we found out (about 5 weeks in) and asked her if she wanted to know if and when we got PG again. She said she didn't want to know until I was at least two weeks--no, a month--no, two months past--my AF. So I told her, "So I'll call you in a couple of weeks, then," and that was than. =) We told the in-laws about a week later during a weekly call with them. We never formally told my younger brother, but he figured it out after we went to watch a UFC fight with he & his wife at a local bar. We haven't told BIL yet, but he may be coming up for the weekend, so we'll probably tell him then.

The HR/Office Manager at my work knows, but she's keeping it mum. She's awesome for that. I probably won't tell my boss until a few months in. I work from home about 4.5 hours from my office, so it's not like we actually see each other. One of my employees knows--she recently had twins, and she knew about the m/c, but she doesn't have any contact with the home office, so it works out. Only thing is, I work in the wine industry, where it is considered an insult to refuse a wine tasting (especially since I'm dealing with the winery owners and winemakers most of the time). So, a few of the wineries know (which means, they probably all locally know at the rate word spreads in a small industry), since I just pat my belly and say "I would love to; maybe in about, say 7 months or so" when they offer.

My two closest girlfriends know (they pass the support test), and one other friend that is organizing a wine tasting tour for a whole group of friends in April (she was curious as to why I offered to be chauffer). And my cousin, who recently had a baby. I was freaking out one day and called her with questions.

We'll probably send a postcard announcement to the rest of the extended family once the doc has confirmed that everything is going well. Then at 12 weeks, we'll probably start telling more friends as we see them. (Funny story: we were actually with about 60 friends on an annual trip to Tahoe when the baby was conceived. We call it our little Snowball.)
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