Are food intolerances that big of a deal?

[sprouthead]

I'm asking this question for DS- I don't mean to insinuate that any of the food intolerances that others are dealing with are not a big deal.

DS and I are dealing with yeast issues- he was getting repetitive yeast diaper rashes and I have some symptoms as well, so we eliminated sugar, wheat, dairy, and corn, and upped things like antifungals and probiotics. DS hasn't had a diaper rash in a few weeks now, and my symptoms are better as well (not gone, but better!). My problem is that DH will give DS things that we've restricted- like cheezits or pizza or bread or doughnuts or whatever. DS seems to be okay with some small amounts (like he had a few small pieces of bread the other day- maybe dime sized, and was fine), but usually DH doesn't stop at "a few," and DS will sometimes end up with another rash, but even if he doesn't end up with a rash, he'll get really hard to handle- like just inconsolably upset over nothing, or last night he had night terrors which he doesn't usually have. Now, it sucks that I'm the one that has to deal with DS's rashes and behavior and I bet anything that if DH was the one dealing with it, he sure as heck would stop giving ds those foods.. But anyway, how much should I be trying to get DH on the same page as me? I guess I'm asking, is it really as big a deal as it seems to me? Thanks!

[matey]

I would lose my mind if my DH wasnt on the same page as me. I think it is SO important for your significant other to understand the food issues and to treat them as serious. I COULD NOT do this alone. My husbands support has been imperative to our success in treating ds and also to my sanity. He is not only supportive in following the food guidelines, but he also has learned alot and has been GREAT at dealing with querstions, doubts, concerns, etc. from others.

My feeling is that you NEED to get your DH on the same page as you. This is your son's health. And those little slip ups may seem ok at the time, but a little here and a little there can end up being a lot.

[lil_miss_understood]

DS2's only obvious symptoms are a *serious* diaper rash and horrible stinky, looser than usual stools (exception being food coloring, which DH agrees he shouldn't have anyway). I'm the diaper changer. :
I've stopped doing that. DH now gets the "pleasure" of changing DS2 when he's decided that giving him food he can't tolerate is an acceptable course of action. He's starting to catch on now that he's the one who has to deal with the repercussions (a toddler that screams, hits, kicks his feet in the poo, cries because it hurts while being changed, along with getting yucky rash cream on his hands, the horrible smell that comes out of the diaper and actually *seeing* the burn-like rash on DS2's bottom). Obviously, I don't just let DS2 just sit in his poo all day if DH's not home to change him, but I think you know what I mean.

[sprouthead]

Thank you for your responses. I would gladly let DH handle DS after he feeds him, except DH works about 70 hours a week, so he's never home to even see it. And as much as I tell him about it, I just don't think he gets it, and the small amount of time that he is home and wants to interact with DS, I think enjoying junk food together is all he knows how to do.

[Lindy]

The thing is, is that when they are babies food intolerances cause diaper rash, excema and such. When they get to be teens, food intolerances cause rage, depression and major mental illness. Nip it in the bud now. Tell your dh that Lindy says "it is better to deny your child some foods than to watch them suffer horribly."

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by Lindy

The thing is, is that when they are babies food intolerances cause diaper rash, excema and such. When they get to be teens, food intolerances cause rage, depression and major mental illness. Nip it in the bud now. Tell your dh that Lindy says "it is better to deny your child some foods than to watch them suffer horribly."

Yeah, pretty much that.
I understand where you're coming from, OP. DH works between 70 and 100 hours a week here as well, but any and every opportunity which arises after one of our "incidents" for him to change DS2's diaper, it's getting done by him.

[Mrsboyko]

It did take a while for DH to get on board with our food restrictions. I think it actually took her getting allergy tested and him seeing all she was allergic to on paper, black and white. He is also the cook in the house, so when he would cook something she and I couldn't eat, I think it got to him that we would instead have a sandwich or something.

He still sneaks her a bite of his recees now and then, then tries to guilt me for not giving her some of my treats that she can't have. As a rare occurance (like once every 2 weeks) isn't going ot harm my DD. BUT, when we were still figuring things out or had only been at baseline for a little while, I would have freaked out.

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by sprouthead

I think enjoying junk food together is all he knows how to do.

Create healthy "treats" and provide those in abundance. The ladies here are amazing with recipes without allergens!!

What do you want? Cookies, cakes, candies, pies, frozen, custards, sauces, dips, finger foods, spicy, crunchy, sweet, cold, chocolate, creamy, salty, chewy? Which spices/flavors can they have? What are their favorites? Ginger, cinnamon, almond, fruit, lemon, berries, sour, roasted, toasted, buttery?

We have added many tasty alternatives which make the 'culprit' foods obsolete.

We also have a running list of "Fun Things To Do With Dad". We add to it regularly and reference it for fun options.


Pat

[sprouthead]

Originally Posted by WuWei

Create healthy "treats" and provide those in abundance. The ladies here are amazing with recipes without allergens!!

What do you want? Cookies, cakes, candies, pies, frozen, custards, sauces, dips, finger foods, spicy, crunchy, sweet, cold, chocolate, creamy, salty, chewy? Which spices/flavors can they have? What are their favorites? Ginger, cinnamon, almond, fruit, lemon, berries, sour, roasted, toasted, buttery?

We have added many tasty alternatives which make the 'culprit' foods obsolete.

We also have a running list of "Fun Things To Do With Dad". We add to it regularly and reference it for fun options.


Pat

This is a good idea. If anyone wants to share recipes I'll try them! We're free from gluten, corn, and sugar (we seem to handle low-sugar substitutes and small amounts of fruit okay). The thing is, is DH is a terribly picky eater and won't/doesn't eat most of what I make. So I'll keep trying, but I'm not that optimistic about it.

[mellowjello]

Same struggle here, it took DH more than a year to come around, and still working on it. You are not crazy. It's just hard, if he doesn't spend as much time with your LO, and maybe not noticing things as carefully, it is easy to dismiss. But your observations and instinct are probably right on. Trust them. We fought over it so much at some points we thought we couldn't live with each other anymore!!!! He thought I was nuts! I think he finally gave in and did what I asked because he was sick of arguing about it. Now he's coming around, now that she's doing better. Would he be more likely to feed the "OK" foods if they were prepped and ready to go in containers in the fridge?

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by sprouthead

This is a good idea. If anyone wants to share recipes I'll try them! We're free from gluten, corn, and sugar (we seem to handle low-sugar substitutes and small amounts of fruit okay). The thing is, is DH is a terribly picky eater and won't/doesn't eat most of what I make. So I'll keep trying, but I'm not that optimistic about it.

'

kjbrown is the resident expert recipe queen. And Wugmama.

Pat