Do you tell people about your kids' vax status? - Page 2

[M_of_M]

Dear Hilary. Thank you for your reply and suggestions.

And the other point is ... Why is it my responsibility to tell you? Why is it not your responsibility to inform yourself? and on that note, why did you NOT think about it? That is something I just can't understand.

It is not your or anyone else's responsiblity to tell others about vaxes. However, that's one of the ways people learn new things and I don't mean only new things about vaccination, but new things in general. And I think that if perhaps you can help one more person by telling them about your choice wrt vaxes, then it is worth a try. That's, imho, though.

(By the way, you share your knowledge here with us and help all the members on this board - is it your responsibility? No, but you chose to do it).

In terms of why I did not think about it myself? Well, I simply did not know that it was even possible to think about something so "obvious" as vaccination. As far as I knew, I was fully vaxed as a child and even received all the boosters as a young adult (partially it was my own decision), all my friends and family members were fully vaxed as well. In addition, at the back of my mind I always "knew" that my kids won't be able to go to school if they will miss even one vaccine. This last statement I "bought" from my own high school principal since I was personally suspended once for the reason of being late on one of the vaxes.

I am sure at one point in your life you also did NOT question some of the things that were needed to be questioned.

[Lula's Mom]

I know this thread has strayed from the original question, but I wanted to weigh in on Part Deux: 'How do you get someone thinking about not vaccinating?' I usually lurk here, but I have to agree with M_of_M and say that I am very grateful to the person who started me on my journey of researching vaccinations. I think her point was misunderstood, and that is that so many moms do not even know there IS another side to this issue. The medical community, school officials, etc. don't want us to know that we have a choice, so they make statements like "All children MUST be immunized before starting kindergarten!" or "Vaccinations are mandatory!" And of course they say vaccinations are completely safe.

Living in mainstream society, that's all you hear. No one has ever asked me about Lula's vaccination status, because they just assume that I've done it! Three years ago, I didn't even know there were people who don't get them, and that's why it did not occur to me to question or research the issue. You have to get your shots- everybody knows that! -unless you were lucky enough to know someone who let you have a peek at the other side.

My midwife did that for me when she casually asked And will you be vaccinating the baby? I think that was the perfect opener, because it told me there had to be negatives to vaccinating that I had never heard about. The logical reply was Is there some reason I shouldn't? She didn't give me reams of info, just told me there were some issues to inform myself about, and lent me a Mothering magazine. I took it from there.

And that's exactly how I read M_of_M's post: she wants to help those who are in the dark. I think it's probably best to give pregnant friends a more comprehensive book, like someone else suggested, with info about vaxes and co-sleeping, breastfeeding, etc. Or give them a subscription to Mothering! It may open up a whole new world for a new mom who thought that Parents magazine was the only "resource" out there. :

[M_of_M]

I don't feel that there is any cause for anyone to say that there is no information out there.

Well, all the "other vax" info is STILL not as available as you think it is. Yes, of course, everyone can do a search on the internet and just type "vaccination"and see what comes up, however, along with a few "other" vax sites you usually get a bunch of pro-vaccine sites. Also, the books on 'other' vax info are NOT available where I live. Thus, the only way for me to read such a book is to buy it on line. I, however, do not buy anything on line.

I went to major book stores in my city but none of them had ANY of the other vax bookes that I was interested to read. I was told I had to shop on line. Eventually, they were able to order "A to Z guide..." by Janet Zang. That's it. Where do I live? Hm, you would be surprized but I live in Canada.

[M_of_M]

I would still argue that there is not that much information available for people and it is unknown to many that it even exists. Just a pure fact that it exists on the internet (when you do a good search) does not mean that all new parents must search the internet and find answers there. The majority of people still don't question vaxes for the reasons stated by me in one of my previous posts.

[Deborah]

finding things out

I keep wondering about people who are:

illiterate

or poor

or non-English speaking

or...

We don't all have the same access to information. It is a lot easier for doctors to run roughshod over some groups of people than over other groups.

Not a criticism of anyone's position. Just something I've become more aware of while in library school. We keep talking about access to information and who doesn't have it.

Nana

PS It is a lot harder ordering stuff online in Canada. Don't quite know why. Lately I've been ordering things sent to my daughter in the U.S. and I pick it up when I go visit.

[CerridwenLorelei]

OT but tanibani I agree with Grahamsmom

That is medical information and as such should NOT be public knowledge PERIOD.
I would think if ACLU knew about that list they would jump on it
And I wouldn't trust that CPS won't come knocking on your door
If even one of those kids gets sick with a vax preventable guess which sets of parents are going to be held responsible? and in some areas it is considered medical neglect..
( umm patient/dr confidentiality comes to mind to show that medical is private)

Maybe someone can answer this for me
Aside from the obvious -say you have to sign for them to have their asthma meds etc
How is that schools can demand to see a shot record for entry etc if Medical info is supposed to be private?

[MoonLissa]

I'm in Tanibani's class where the list of children who are not vaxed are posted. It's not posted in a high-traffic zone. However, it does violate recently enacted medical privacy laws.

I have placed a call to the class alerting them to the fact and requesting that MY child's name NOT be listed in plain public view. Perhaps, Tanibani, you might also request that your "child's name not be listed in plain public view". Now, if they challenge me on that, I will stand my ground. I never have problems with confrontations, though I don't go out of my way to do so.

I think it's important to discuss this and to share, if the situation calls for it. I won't keep that fact of our lives totally secret because, really, those that DO vax COULD put my child's health in jeopardy (i.e. FluMist vaccine could cause my child to get the flu and as it's a weakened virus, my child may not develop a true immunity).

Anyway, interesting discussion...thanks Tanibani for alerting me to it.

^^Liss

[Tanibani]

T When I picked up my son from school today I noticed the list was TAKEN DOWN. So thanks MoonLissa!

[muldey]

Do you tell people about your kids' vax status?

That depends.Many know from the fight we had with CPS,but I don't think dh's family knows.I don't lie if I am asked(well,once,when I had to say dd was fully vaxed to get her into see her brother in the CICU after his heart surgery).I've had many people say oh he has a drs appointment,poor little guy will get his shots,and I have to correct them and say we don't vaccinate.I haven't had too may negative reactions,mostly curiousity.I basically explain to them about ds's heart,and how the vaxes have never been tested in children like him,and they should do their own research.I hope I have made some parents actually think for themselves.

[lab]

Man, where do I start!!!!

I wish someone had talked to me. A post I read mentioned that her midwife asked if she had thought about vaxing. I wish someone had put that question to me. I vaxed all three of my kids, "blindly".

When my last child was entering school, I did a little research and talked to my peditrician, who immediately informed me that if I decided not to get ds his last round of vacs then I would have to find a new pediatrician! My pediatrician blew me out of the water with the WEALTH of (misleading) information she had.

Years later I find this site and am completely re-evaluting everything I ever thought about parenting.

I know it's hard to be an advocate. And a lot of people will view you as confrontational, but it really is about education. Don't get me wrong, I carry to full load of responsibility - it is just so hard to break a mold and learn about things if you truly don't know they exist. People who get upset when you lay out the facts might be reacting out of quilt. I have to admit that I was wrong and that I made a mistake. It's hard to do.

So....... I would vote to talk about it

JMHO

[Mommy To Baby Roni]

However, don't you ever think that by talking about it you might eventually end up helping some other parent make the informed choice when it comes to vaxing?

MofM, I completely agree & only because someone else brought it to my attention, did I question vaccines. However, I agree with the ladies that said "helping" someone should be done with caution. I think you can your friends who have not yet had children to be the safest territory. They haven't done it to their children, so they are not threatened by the thought of vaxing being wrong. A couple of my friends that already have children have been open to hearing me out or receiving info. One, for example, still vaxes her child but held off on her MMR until her DD was a little older (I know, I didn't have much impact but I had some). Another friend, on the other hand, is completely closed-minded to the remote possibility that vaccines can cause ANY adverse reaction whatsoever. Obviously, she is not educated with even the pro-vax info. Another friend just had her 2nd child. While she has not discussed whether or not she is going to vax her new baby, she did tell me that her DD didn't get any vaxes at her 2mos appt. I didn't ask any more, she didn't offer any more.

Hilary, I have to respectfully disagree that the information is so readily out there. First, I really don't think that the idea of opposition is so openly "out there". Before becoming a SAHM, I worked with MANY mothers and I never knew to question this issue, though they spoke about their children all night long. I had never seen any information about vaccination that would ever cause me to think it's an "issue". I just always thought it was something you do - without question (why would you?). A few years ago, I volunteered for an animal rescue group who required a tetanus booster. I went down & got mine without thinking twice. All the info you see at the dr's offices, on tv, etc is all pro-vax. All the typical pregnancy websites & magazines provide the same pro-vax bs. AND, not all pg women or mothers cruise the web. As was already said, if you go to a bookstore you will not find books on "the other side" of vaccination. Only if you search Amazon or the other online bookstores will you find REAL books on the subject.

However, I will say that having to go through the act of having my child receive a shot would probably have prompted me to start researching. I think my gut instincts would've kicked in, but who knows if it would've been too late by then?

To Tanibani, I'm glad to hear that it was resolved and the list was taken down. I know that you didn't feel that this was an issue you wanted to make waves about. You said you didn't think that the other parents in the daycare would make a big deal about it if they knew children in the school were unvaxed. I have to, with completely good intentions, suggest that you not so easily be fooled. Recently, in a discussion on another board I go to, the pertussis outbreak in NY was being discussed. Some of the mothers commented, when discussing how some of the children in the outbreak were not vaccinated, how outraged they were that unvaccinated children were allowed in schools, daycare, etc. Some wanted to know how they could find out who these children were at their child's daycare and that they wanted to protest their attendance. They said they would NEVER allow their children to play with unvaccinated children. So, I hope you never underestimate the possible opinions of the parents of those your child is surrounded with.

[somemama]

Originally posted by Alison74
.

The rest of the family are teachers and medical professionals. Can you tell either of those two types anything on any subject? :LOL

As a teacher, I'm totally offended by this statement. I stopped vaxing my ds and I left him intact. We also ebf. So there.

[jessc79]

I guess I have a hard job, comprehending why others can't do the same.

Hilary, I appreciate all of your comments. I did want to comment on this, though. The thing is...we all SHOULD be asking questions like you have asked. But for some reason we aren't. Most of us have begun questioning vaccines because someone we knew mentioned something offhand about it. Until then, we were just like the majority of mothers. We just took for granted that vaccines : saved the world from death and despair :

I don't know that I feel obligated to tell all sorts of people because I have become elightened. But I do think that if people seem generally interested in "the natural way" I will tell them how I feel.

[Mommy To Baby Roni]

I guess I have a hard job, comprehending why others can't do the same. But that's my bad, not anyone else's...

I do know what you mean, Hilary. What I don't get is that once a parent/adult KNOWS there is something to be concerned about regarding vaccines (or anything else for that matter), why they choose NOT to know anything about it or trust an "expert" to give them all the answers.

[sea island mama]

I don't know about buying books, but I had no trouble finding a couple of books mentioned here at my local library (in Canada).

Unfortunately, when I was wondering about vaccinating dd, there was an article in Reader's Digest - "Why you MUST vaccinate your children" or some such (now I know) rubbish . I didn't realize I could delay until I got more information .

Then I discovered the MDC boards & a couple of years ago I read The Vaccination Guide & didn't get dd any more after her 6 mo. shots. I am in the process of reading "What every parent should know about childhood vaccinations" & it is just reinforcing what I have read before.

I just realized again what the original question here was...I guess we got a little off topic . I don't say anything unless it comes up with people I know. Some of the people we know through dd's playgroups have mentioned taking them for shots & said, "oh yeah, you don't do that" or something to that effect. When it has been briefly discussed, they figure the chance of any side effects is less than getting the illness, so what's the problem?
Then there's my next door neighbour, the public health nurse : . She was over shortly before ds was 2 months old mentioned it, so I said we probably weren't vaxing him. Well, she had just been to a weekend conference where they told them all about how dangerous it is for everyone if you don't vax & it's not just about me (or my kids), but we have to think about the other kids that might not be as healthy . Luckily, she was rushing off, so I didn't have to get into it with her. I'm sorry, I have to inject poison into my healthy kids to protect someone else's unhealthy ones :

[pilesoflaundry]

I never understood that whole " but it's to protect everyone not just your kid" argument. My job as a mother is to protect my kids from harm, not the entire world, they have their mothers to protect them (hopefully). So I'm supposed to put my kid at risk for numorous things just so that maybe your kid won't catch something?? I don't get that at all, and the more I read the more I realize vaxed kids catch more crap than unvaxed kids.

I wish I did this research before I had my other kids as they received vax and I often wonder if it has affected their immune systems. Although they don't get sick often, when they do it seems to linger forever instead of going away quickly like it does with Eliza who hasn't gotten vaxed. Granted she is only 3 months old so I can't say a ton about her immune system but in the case of the 2 sniffles she already has had they weren't much of anything compaired to the month long full blown fever/cold the other kids had.

This was totally OT sorry!

[vwmama]

jessc79
I just wondered how is it not vaxing in IL, we might be moving there soon!