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rough transition (2nd language immersion) but we love the school

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I have posted her a few times about our decision to send dd1 to a local French Montessori school. She has now been there for 2 weeks and it has been hard on her (and hard on us!) But we have also been very impressed with the school and with her very caring, supportive teacher.

Dd is a pretty confident, outgoing kid, also very articulate. She is finding being plunged into a 2nd language environment VERY hard. She has cried at school at least 4-5 times, something she would normally avoid doing 'in public' at any cost. She is really nervous and uncertain and anxious. She is the kind of kid who likes school, wants desperately to fit in and succeed, so not being able to understand what's going on 80% of the time is very hard.

That said, we love this school....the kids are soooo lovely to her, all of them warm & friendly & trying to help her learn how to do things, how to speak the language. They are so genuinely sweet. The teacher is very very good, caring, creative, very communicative & willing to work with us. Dd wants to learn French & has made friends with another girl in the program. The school's overall philosophy fits well with our own values (i.e. green, anticonsumerist). So much to like here.

But it's heartbreaking to see dd, who has always loved her preschool and her teachers and been confident in new situations, cling to us, cry when we leave and cry if she thinks we are late picking her up. We really want this to work. But we are both starting to have doubts. We don't want to torture her, yk....we're not sure at what point we should do something differently.

In addition I think that there is a big change from play-based to Montessori that she is also adjusting to, though frankly I think this is much less significant than the language issue, as she seems to like the work and it seems suited to her personality.

Any suggestions welcome! I may cross-post this to education...as it may be more of a 2nd language issue.
post #2 of 7
I might be facing this myself (sending my son to a french school) and I really feel the tug between the long-term benefits and the short-term transition. Because that transition is very stressful and difficult - it just is. I'm not sure there is any way around it in the end.

As I posted before, I remember my own transition to FI and it was tough.

Two weeks is a pretty short time, though. I would try to make weekends and evenings as soothing and comforting and successful as possible, focusing on her strengths, like if she loves art, do that, etc. And get some physical activity to help burn off the adrenaline.

I'd also talk to your daughter genuinely about seeing how hard it is for her, and reinforce that it does get better.

And then at this point, I'd stick it out for at least another two weeks to see which way it's going. I'm not really a "stick to it at any cost" kind of person or parent but I think if you don't give her longer then the stress won't have been worth it, because two weeks is not time to sort out any of the language aspects, if that makes sense? So it just becomes a kind of nonsensical exercise.

But man, I feel for you. This may be me in September.
post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your post, Jenn--I really appreciate your perspective having gone through this yourself. And it`s exactly that struggle that we are facing right now...in the long term we are convinced of the benefits, and we understand that it's a temporary transition. But poor little dd. She is really incredibly frustrated. We had a horrific morning this morning. She didn't want to go from the time she got up, didn't want to leave the house, had to be dragged from the car, crying, cried all the way through getting changed at school, and we left her screaming in the teacher's arms.
We are really determined to try and give it another couple of weeks (March Break is in two weeks anyway). But I'm not sure how much more of this we or she can stand. She was crying I don't like this place, I don't like this school, I don't want to go to this place, I don't like it. Sigh.

Hindsight is 20/20 but maybe September would have been better. We could pull her in a couple of weeks if it doesn't improve, but our fear then is that September will be another equally rough transition, especially if this experience is so negative.

My poor little girl...I hate dropping her off in tears---the last time I did that was when she was starting daycare at 16 months
post #4 of 7
Thread Starter 
a brief update. After we left, apparently dd calmed down quickly and had a great morning. And said she likes her teacher and seems to be looking forward to tomorrow. We'll see...hopefully we've turned the corner...we'll see.
post #5 of 7
Thread Starter 
a happy update. 1 week later and Dd has adjusted...she literally skipped in to school this morning and was so excited to see her teacher (it helped that she is in charge of snack for the week). She was chattering away happily to her. And she is slowly but surely picking up more French.
post #6 of 7
Yay! Thanks for the update. I've been wondering how she's been doing.
post #7 of 7
Oh, I'm *so* glad. Yay!
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