Thank you for the input. I can see that what you went through caused you great pain. I will say that the cards that are sent ALWAYS have dh's signature in them. He signs them first. I do underneath him. And her step-brothers names are always in the cards as well. (They were/are really almost both too young to sign their names themselves.) So I do my very best to make it look like the gifts come from him.
That's the intent, for dsd to know that her dad thinks about her. Like I said before, I'm not out for glory for myself. I just feel used and taken for granted. And I wanted to know whether I had a right to feel that way. And what to reasonably do from here on out.
I have a much stronger bond with my step-mother than with my father. I don't have any personal obligations to him, but she's always made nice efforts with me and has been consistent. I don't fool myself that he'd ever make any efforts, even now when I'm 33 and have children, he doesn't make efforts. But she does and I still appreciate it. So, even if things aren't perfect now, she may consider you more as she grows. I know you're not out for glory, but it's always nice to be recognized for our efforts. And no matter how much you try to show that it's your dh putting out the efforts, your dsd knows the truth.
I did not mean to insinuate that you should hide yourself in the gift-giving. You absolutely should not. You're the gift-giver and whether the gift brings conflicting feelings or not, a gift should be acknowledged.