"she's got her hands full"

[Super Glue Mommy]

Every time I go to pick up my son from school this lady makes this comment to whoever is standing around. She doesn't mean it in a nasty way, I don't think, but I don't take that comment as something positive either. I never think of myself as some one who has their hands full. I like having kids. I want more, eventually lol. I am thinking of getting one of those buttons that say "if you think my hands are full you should see my heart". i wouldn't think anything of it, but I've heard her say this at least 50 times now. its every.single.day. Also, I don't understand why people talk about someone else to another person while the person they are talking about is in ear shot.

just had to vent, kind of...

[DandeCobb]

i always say (even if the comment is ABOUT me but not said TO me) "just the way I like it!"

[fairymom]

I've heard this comment for the past 14 years- if you have more than one child or are young (even just looking)- people think they know what makes someone elses life "full". I don't disagree that sometimes I do have my hands full and at the moments when someone catches me when I do have my hands full I'll agree and say something like "yes right now I do.Would you like one/to help?" It usaully shuts them up.

But if I am just enjoying life in all its fullnes and not at all feeling overwhelmed- hearing that comment makes me so angry and like she's judging me.And doesn't think I'm a good mom. I try to remember that what she thinks doesn't really matter and she can think what she wants. This helps me not jump down her throat.

What I suggest saying to her is- (I am not great w/comebacks) "yes it may look that way.but this is my life and I can handle it- too bad you can't" or "I like to juggle.it makes life a game and fun.we could all use a little fun in life."

Or amybe some day talk to her privately about the fact that she words are hurtfull and that you love your life the way it is and ask her to please stop.

Who knows maybe she says these things to others there too and no one really pays attention to her because of it!

I know how much this comment irratates and I'm sorry you have to hear in on a daily basis.If you come up w/a witty comeback let me know- I'd love to use it!

[Super Glue Mommy]

I do look young - I guess because I am but I think I look younger then I am. I am 24. So, walking up there with an 8 month old in a carrier, a 2 year old holding my hand, to pick up my 3 1/2 year old from school - yeah my hands might look full - but that is actually a very easy enjoyable part of my day. its 5pm-7pm thats hectic!! thats when an onlooker may think my house is out of control lol.

I really don't care what she thinks, but sometimes I would like to set the record straight

[doctormom]

Originally Posted by fairymom

sometimes I do have my hands full and at the moments when someone catches me when I do have my hands full I'll agree and say something like "yes...Would you like to help?"

I love this reply, because if you then proceed to hand her an armload of squirming, un-cooperative child, or a giant diaper bag, or whatever else you can thrust upon her...then SHE will have HER hands full, and will be too occupied to make thoughtless busybody comments to the person next to her. And if you do it with a big smile and cheerfully thank her for recognizing that you could use some help, she won't be in a position to back out. In fact, I would be tempted to start carrying a gigantic diaper bag for a few days just for that purpose, to have something bulky ready to hand her.

Take THAT, busybody lady with the unwanted running commentary!

[Super Glue Mommy]

yeah but it wouldnt do any good because my kids are so well behaved during this part of the day. maybe I should invite her over for dinner LOL

[Mama~Love]

I hear this too, and I Just say I'd rather have them full than empty!

[ZoshaMosha]

People say this to me all the time. Not when I'm with my kids, just when I'm walking my dogs (probably with baby in the ergo). I only have two dogs. People are weird.

[fairymom]

I just thought of a really good reply say w/a smile "you could be right but I've got great balance too!"

[lilylove]

It drives me insane when people talk about me to someone else right in front of me. After a few times I would definitely say something. : Perhaps something very straight forward. "I hear you say that everyday, and yes they are full and so is my heart. I like it this way!"

[funkymamajoy]

Its such an annoying comment, which I hear often with 3 kids under 4. So far, my best response has been "I had my hands full with the first one." Which I did, he's a high energy child.

Maybe she'll stop the comments if you ask her for help.

[karlugato]

I hate this comment. I hear it EVERY SINGLE TIME I go out. I'll have my little one in the sling on front, my girl on my back, and the two boys walking. I usually hold my hands up, say an enthusiastic "nope!" and carry on. It usually gets a giggle. But really... I am so sick of hearing it. I'm having a good time and happy to have it right now, because everyone will be grown soon enough and I will be probably going crazy with boredom. I guess people are just trying to acknowledge that you probably have it pretty tough sometimes and that if you're feeling stressed, that you're allowed to under the circumstances. I don't know, I'm rambling now. Heehee.

[Boot]

It is annoying when people repeat the same comment over and over. It's also irritating when people talk about you within earshot. The comment itself doesn't sound that annoying however. I would say that to a Mum who literally did have her hands full. I see it as a supportive, admiring way of acknowledging that they are doing a good job (or at least the best they can). Of course, I only have 1 child so maybe that's why it doesn't bother me.

I don't think you need to think of a witty comeback, maybe just try to strike up conversation the next time she says it (as if you assumed she was including you) and just tell her a bit about what it's like to have 3 little ones. She's obviously fascinated and maybe once she knows you a bit she won't feel the need to keep pointing out the obvious.

[hedgewitch]

Could you just look at her directly and say "What do you mean?" just to see what she says? Often when people are asked for a follow up their reply is pretty meaningless and it discourages comment again. Or she might say something nice like "I admire your family". We can live in hope!

[Super Glue Mommy]

I definitely think she means it more in an admirational way - she seems very nice - I don't know why it bothers me at all, I think its just that she isn't saying it TO ME. Yea, having 3 kids in 3 years is hard, but if anything, I'm proud of how well I handle it - though sometimes it does get pretty rough and I wish they had more years between them!

[ChetMC]

Hands Full

I get this a lot. I don't think there's anything wrong with people recognizing that it's a lot of work to care for several small children, or that several small children requires a great deal of effort and attention.

I think it's bizarre when half the moms are complaining that people don't acknowledge how hard the job is, and the other half are complaining that people make comments like, "you've got your hands full," or, "you must be busy."

[Zach'smom]

Why do you think that having your hands full is a bad thing?? I used to nanny for 4 kids along with caring for my own. everytime I was out with all 5 of them- 2 babies- one of them with special needs and 4,5 and 7 year old someone would say "You sure have your hands full" I always smiled and said "Yes I do" I did have my hands full, but that wasn't a bad thing.

[nextcommercial]

Well, I watch six kids in my home. When we go places, people might comment on a few things. (it's usually a comment about one particular little girl)

But occasionally they will say "Wow you have your hands full" and the only time they mention it is when things are kinda chaotic for some reason. So, sometimes I must LOOK like my hands are full. Know what I mean?

Are you walking calmly into school, like it's no big deal, or do you feel rushed or stressed? Maybe she means it that way.

If that's the case, I would hand her a kid and say "Yes, you can help". LOL (I wouldn't really, but it's fun to imagine)

The daycare parents have made comments about me having my hands full on days where I really am stressed, even though it's the same kids every day. But some days are better than other.

[IlluminatedAttic]

Originally Posted by Super Glue Mommy

I am thinking of getting one of those buttons that say "if you think my hands are full you should see my heart".

I think this is great! How about just looking her straight in the eye and saying this with a big sincere smile on your face?

[Llyra]

We get this a lot. Actually, not so much anymore, now that the twins are bigger, but when they were babies I heard it nearly every day from some random stranger. DH usually says, "better full than empty." Myself, I'm honestly at the point where I usually turn to DD1, and say out loud, "geez, can't anybody think of anything smarter to say?" I know people mean well, but seriously. I get so tired of hearing about what a burden my kids supposedly are to me.