I felt like I failed my child when...

[Oriole]

... anyone has stories like that?
Just gloomy feelings tonight, and I need some help getting over it. Please?
I can't stand when I read a thread that is obviously not telling the whole story, but I can't post everything here. I'm sorry.

I'm sure others would appreciate the fact that some parents shared their feeling on one occasion or another. If you are one of those parents who understand the described feeling, can you tell me if you got over it, of if it stuck around for a while?

[jjawm]

I've done so many stupid things in my 4 1/2 years of parenting. Failed my kids? How many times? How many ways? I've lost count, which is sad.

When I realize it, I make a point to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Then I try to move on, making improvements in whatever ways I can. I also try to remember that kids are pretty resiliant creatures. I do my best to make the good I do outweigh the bad that inevitably comes along.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time now. ((((((hugs))))))

[Storm Bride]

The big one for me is that I felt like I'd failed ds1 when I finally gave up on making my first marriage work. It wasn't going to, and I'd had my face rubbed in the fact. I didn't feel so much that I'd failed him by getting the divorce, as when I picked his dad in the first place, if that makes any sense.

There have been other times, but that's the big one.

[missgranger]

I feel like I am failing my kids right now by staying with their father ... he has ruined us financially, spends almost no time with them, is distant from all of us emotionally, etc. I am working on getting us out, but I should have done this a long time ago. I really feel like I've failed the kids by even picking him in the first place (although I wouldn't have the kids without him).

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

I think everyone feels like this sometimes. I could fill a hundred pages in 9pt font just listing all my mistakes and all the ways I've failed my kids. I've lost my temper and hit Cali. I've wished Melanie would just disappear because I'm so sick of listening to her fight with her sisters (and I must have done something wrong to have the girls at each other's throats all the time in the first place). Just yesterday I yelled at Jesse and Davin for something I knew full well wasn't their fault and made them cry.

There are definitely moments where I feel like I'm a horrible mother who shouldn't be having more babies because I'm screwing up the ones I already have. There are few things that will leave you with more guilt than having a violent temper you can't always control, I think. I really don't get the opportunity to sit around feeling bad, though, so for me the feelings are pretty fleeting.

[Ruthla]

Yup, I've felt that way in many, many separate instances. Then something happens- the situation improves and I realize I haven't ruined them, or I get enough sleep and see the situation in a better light, or I take those "feelings of failure" and make some change, or some combination of the these factors.

In no case, do those horrible feelings last very long.

[MusicianDad]

A good parent is one that put him/her self under the microscope and second guesses everything they do. Every parent I know has felt like they have faild their children at some point. Like jjawm, I seek out what I did wrong and apologize, seek forgiveness, and try not to make the same mistake twice.