Homeschooling, unschooling ahhh!!

[DharmaDisciple]

E now 10 1/2 has been out of school for 2 1/2 yrs, and I still dread every day we have to homeschool. I am struggling to find a system that fills her needs, my needs and my active 2 yr olds needs. I have tried unschooling, E just got bored and started showing signs of depression ( I don't think linked to the unschooling, just motivational issues), I've tried the formal timetable 9-3 approach and I hate that. I want E to see ALL of life is learning, that you never stop. The other day she was disappointed to realise that it was friday and we had to do some work- this is not what I want for her. Yet she has fell so behind since coming out of school and she feels embarassed when her 8 yr old friends tell her what they've learnt at school, she then thinks she's stupid because she doesn't know this stuff (not that they'll remember much of it once they've left school) How do you find a system for learning that meets all your family's needs??

[khrisday]

We strugled with hos to go about homeschooling and meeting everyone's needs also. With a special needs 6 year old and a very active and needy toddler I didn't think anything was going to work LOL I read a wonderful book called The Well Trained Mind that gave me solutions. It's a guide to classical education and the first time through it sounded really structured, but after the third time through it, I began to get how it would work for oour family. Now I have away to plan out my long term curriculum goals that makes sense, and I don't worry so much about what we cover each day. We are able to cover what I think we need to in an hour of "schooltime" a day, and have figured out ways to incorportae the toddler into our lessons as well. She sits in my lap while I am reading and I keep a tray of "work" for her to do during lessons (puzzles, stringing, lacing, sorting, etc)

[Linda in Arizona]

It sounds like you guys are going through a hard time. Have you looked into Charlotte Mason style homeschooling. Very mellow in that it uses real books, nature study, handcrafts, etc. It might help you find a way to have a little structure without being totally stifled. Here are a few nice links.

http://members.aol.com/PennyGar/

http://members.aol.com/BeeME1/links.html

http://www.home-school.com/Articles/CharlotteMason.html

BTW, I noticed you are in the UK. My DH is British and I'm an American. The British educational system is much more advanced than the US system -- the new curriculum over there is very, very tough. I'm sure your DD's 8 year old friends are doing much harder work than most 10 year olds in the US

Do you have any homeschooling friends? We were over last summer and all my DH's friends and family had a really hard time understanding homeschooling. Most of them had never heard of it before.

[Britishmum]

Linda in Arizona - that's a good point about the British system being so different from the American. Mand, are you British, or an ex-pat?

If you haven't already, I'd suggest getting copies of the National Curriculum for each subject so that you can see what your daughter's friends are talking about. Maybe you could go through the curriculum with your daughter and see if there are parts that she finds interesting, so that she feels that she is doing some of the same things as them.

You can get the curriculum from the DfEE - I think you can download most of it from their website.

Maybe also pay a visit to the friends' school and find out what they are focused on in her year group each term - eg which history project they are doing, or science, or whatever. Just a thought, that your daughter may feel more comfortable wiht her friends if she can say 'Oh yes, I'm studying that too.' You don't have to study it in a 'school' way, the good thing about the curriculum is that it doesn't dictate the method of teaching, just the content, except the Literacy, which is more detailed now.

Hope this helps. I know that homeschooling is unusual in the UK, I have a friend who homeschools two of her four children and has to keep reminding the local schools that it is, in fact, perfectly legal! She had a wonderful moment when her younger son, who has special needs, was tested and had higher scores than most of the children in his year the school. They leave her alone now.......

[DharmaDisciple]

Thanks for all your replies- I have heard of Charlotte Mason, and got some books- haven't figured out how to incorporate it whilst also attending to my youngest's needs though.
I am British- and I agree about the education system being tough, dd's younger friend who is 9 never plays out on a school night as she is always doing homework!
I have seen a website for the National Curriculum, will check it out.
The thing is I can find us 'school' type work to do and dd does this, but then seems uninspired for the rest of the day about what to do. I look at the clock and it will only be 10am, so I find the day long also.
Lovely to hear your responses though- thanks xxx
Amanda

[khrisday]

Amanda,
If you like Charlotte Mason's ideas The Well Trained Mind may be helpful to you. Charlotte MAson took a classical approach to education and WTM is a guide to implementing classical education so they are really similar. Good luck! Oh, I just remembered you said your daughter is just five (the younger one) we used a program called Five in a Row for kindergarden which was nice, it is based on storyboks.

[momofthreecuties]

I'm unschooling right now my K student of life! I also have a 3 1/2 yo and close to 1 yo...it is so demanding some days...my k I'm thinking of putting in school in the fall, we but heads and even though he is the oldest he is the most draining many days. I do want to go back to unschooling in a few years but I'm afraid he'll love school and we'll have to deschool....Could a few years of school do much damage? Also he is bright, don't want him dumbed down and held back of his true potential...

momofthreecuties

[Earthymama]

DONT DO IT!! hehe. i have talked to so many mums who wish they had never put their kid in the system because they didnt discover unschooling fast enuff. it might not hurt, but egads, wha ta pain to deschool after if it does hurt! also, putting him in school might not even ease things up for your family. getting a kid off to school - making sure he is dressed ok, has a lunch, and did his homework might end up being more work than you have now....not to mention the behavioral stuff that will likely come home.....ugh - try to get some support to keep him at home
Earthymama

[CrunchyGranolaMom]

Hi there,

My oldest is only 6.5, so maybe it's different with an older child, but we have found it truly wonderful to have outside learning opportunities for our kids. Usually 4 days/week, they have at least one outside class. They take a homeschoolers' art class, creative movement, piano lessons, swimming, and sewing for homeschoolers. It really helps give structure to our days (we plan to do math and piano practice, for example, before leaving for swimming), and, frankly, on the days when we don't have *something* doing outside, we tend to stay in the house all day, and get cranky with each other. Also, some of these skills (like sewing) are things that the "schooled" friends aren't getting, so my kids get to exhibit mastery over some things, instead of feeling that the school kids are smarter than they are.

Good luck!

[anythingelse]

Maybe you can find a hobby for her that would eat up some idle time. Does she like to decorate or rearrange the family furniture or cook? How about crochet, sewing, painting, or taking up a sport or instrument? Gardening is good at that age also. She might just need some thing to show her friends that is tangiable like a list of he books she is reading, or frame up some poetry or her drawings to show off.
Just read the last post and agree maybe she needs to find a few new friends as well. Good luck to you both!