My 1st grader won't stop talking in class

[QueeTheBean]

In the grand scheme of things, I know that the situation could be worse, but I am still concerned.

My DS has been getting in trouble for talking during class. I volunteer in the class once/week and I have witnessed it myself. It is frustrating and disruptive--waiting for him to be quiet takes away time from the other students. Other than this, he is doing fine--great, actually. He is very bright and is getting very good grades.

We've had long talks about this & taken away computer time. I am not sure what else to do at this point. He's a chatty guy, like his mama , but he does need to learn when NOT to talk.

[Alyantavid]

Is he bored? My first grader is pretty far ahead of his classmates and he's a talker too. I know when he's doing his math (accelerated) he's much quieter. In his case, if he's being challenged, he's much less wiggly and talkative.

[ProtoLawyer]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

Is he bored? My first grader is pretty far ahead of his classmates and he's a talker too. I know when he's doing his math (accelerated) he's much quieter. In his case, if he's being challenged, he's much less wiggly and talkative.

Ours has that issue too--"(Kiddo) needs to find more productive things to do than chat with her classmates when she finishes her work early" showed up on the report card. We asked, and she was told she's not allowed to go and do something else when she's done--she has to sit there. So apparently her teacher is confusing "productive" with "quiet." (My partner is having words with the teacher about what, exactly, a six year old can do "productively" if she's not allowed to even go to the bookshelf and pick up a book.)

[egoldber]

My DD is also a huge talker. She is also very quick to finish her work. Her teacher last year thought she needed to learn self control and set it up as a battle. Her teacher this year lets her get books when she is done. In math, she has "challenge work" (packets of logic puzzles, math games and sudoku) that she works on when she has finished the regular work. It helps a lot.

[QueeTheBean]

Well, he made it through this week til Friday & then got in trouble at lunch for talking (yeah--I hate that they have quiet time at lunch ). He will often claim that it wasn't him, but another kid. Not sure whether it is ever true, or if it is a big fat lie, or if he just doesn't realize he is talking.

Some of it could be boredom--since I spend time in the classroom, I can see that there is a huge range of abilitites, so the class moves as slow as the slowest students.

The kids pretty much get one warning, and then if they break a rule again, they get moved on the behavior chart--a "green light" moved to a "yellow light", then to "red" if they are really in trouble!

There are a number of really challenging kids in this class--some extreme behavior problems. By comparrison, my DS's talking seems insignificant, but I still want him to listen to the teacher & not be a distraction.

Part of my problem is that his older brother (5th grade) has never--seriously--never--gotten into trouble. The little one is probably more typical, but it is all new to me.

[pranamama]

I would go easy on your son, It seems like a new philosophy on reporting to parents has emerged. I think schools didn't used to notify parents as much, and lately all my friends have or know someone in a similar situation, my eldest is 18 and we only got notification from the school once in her schooling.

[WalkingByFaith]

They can't talk at lunch?

When are they supposed to get all the socialization that we're missing out on as homeschoolers?

[fadedgirl]

I'd like to know as well about kids not being allowed to talk at lunch. I heard someone allude to this on another thread. Is this for real? Are they not allowed to talk the entire time, or how is it regulated?

[eclipse]

For real? No talking at LUNCH? I think I'd be having a word about that. Maybe if he had enough outlets to talk and socialize, he wouldn't be doing it at inappropriate times?

[QueeTheBean]

Originally Posted by WalkingByFaith

They can't talk at lunch?

When are they supposed to get all the socialization that we're missing out on as homeschoolers?

They are allowed to talk to at lunch except for the last 5 minutes. As I understand it, this is supposed to serve as a transition time before they return to class. I don't like it, but I don't think it is a huge issue . . .

FTR, I never said that homeschoolers were missing out on socialization--or anything about homeschooling for that matter. I know that traditional schools aren't perfect, but for now, it is the right option for this child.

[QueeTheBean]

Originally Posted by pranamama

I would go easy on your son, It seems like a new philosophy on reporting to parents has emerged. I think schools didn't used to notify parents as much, and lately all my friends have or know someone in a similar situation, my eldest is 18 and we only got notification from the school once in her schooling.

I suspect that you are on to something here . . .

[tinybutterfly]

I was in gradeschool in the 60s and Jr. High/Highschool in the 70s and I spent a TON of time out in the hall, in detention, etc. for talking. They never told my parents. I think it's different now.

And for what it is worth, I am still a talker, but finally mellowing out a bit. I just LOVED talking to people at school when I was a kid. I talked and talked and talked...some of us are just "chatty."

Maybe you could set up a reward system for X number of days with no trouble for talking and he gets to do something fun or whatever when he makes those goals. Help him to find something else to occupy him instead of talking ( doodling, reading, etc.) Maybe you could talk to the teacher about things he can do to distract himself from talking.

It really is hard for some of us to be quiet and do nothing.

Good luck!

[WantRice]

Originally Posted by eclipse

For real? No talking at LUNCH? I think I'd be having a word about that. Maybe if he had enough outlets to talk and socialize, he wouldn't be doing it at inappropriate times?

You would not believe how many parents complain that their children come home with half eaten lunches every day. Guess why. Because they spend most of their lunch time talking instead of eating. I don't see a problem with limiting the talking during eating time because kids need the food to sustain them for the afternoon. After that, when it's play time outside, they can talk up a storm.

[GAjenn]

I was always in trouble for talking in school. I have also taught middle school for 8 years, so I have experience on the other end as a teacher. Something one of my favorite teachers did with me--If it would not distract from his class work maybe he could write down the things he wants to say so he doesn’t forget to say them later. That was always my issue with not saying it now. He could also have something on his desk that was colored to know when not to talk; just a little card the teacher flips over. This would serve as a nonverbal cue to try and stay quiet. Teachers know they are going to talk sometimes, but we have to consider what it does to the other students to be distracted.
By the way, a small comment on the mixture on abilities in one room: “No Child Left Behind” should be called “No Child Gets Ahead”!
On a positive note, it is usually the bright, happy students who have this issue.

[fadedgirl]

Originally Posted by pranamama

I would go easy on your son, It seems like a new philosophy on reporting to parents has emerged. I think schools didn't used to notify parents as much, and lately all my friends have or know someone in a similar situation, my eldest is 18 and we only got notification from the school once in her schooling.

Also, he is only in first grade!! : Its a lot to ask of a first grader that has such tendencies. Some kids just don't have such tendancies, so the ones that do appear intentionally disruptive, although its far from intentional I'm sure.

I'd be a lot more concerned that he's in a class with kids that have severe behavioral issues and that he's being held back academically. Did your older son go to this school as well, or still go to it? Is this something that equalizes a bit in a grade or two?

[QueeTheBean]

OK--I am going to just chill out about this. He is a great kid--happy, dreamy, imaginative, friendly---just so very different from my older son. I'm going to let it go unless it gets out of hand. I was (am) a talker, too. My mom was during school--she is going to send a copy of her old report card that says she needed to be quieter (just to show my little guy he isn't alone)!

Originally Posted by fadedgirl

Also, he is only in first grade!! : Its a lot to ask of a first grader that has such tendencies. Some kids just don't have such tendancies, so the ones that do appear intentionally disruptive, although its far from intentional I'm sure.

I'd be a lot more concerned that he's in a class with kids that have severe behavioral issues and that he's being held back academically. Did your older son go to this school as well, or still go to it? Is this something that equalizes a bit in a grade or two?

Our school doesn't separate the kids--they are supposed to be able to address the different levels within the whole class. Special Ed kids are taken out for various subjects, but gifted kids don't really get anything extra, though he is in the higher reading group. It is something I have really struggled with--but to put my kids in private school means huge finanical sacrifice that DH and I are not currently prepared to make. Am still monitoring my feelings on this constantly . . .

[MattBronsil]

I couldn't imagine not being allowed to talk throughout my school years in class. I would ask the teacher how she is using that knowledge to engage your child in classroom discussions ;-)

[oceanbaby]

We homeschool, and although I know my kids would do just fine in school, I also know that my older son would have the hardest time with not talking. That kid talks all day long. He seriously doesn't stop. At 4-H meetings he is raising his hand every 5 seconds to ask a question or comment on something. The leader is great with it, but she has to often tell him that it's now time to hold his questions so they can get through what they are doing. Some little kids just can't contain their enthusiasm!

(We toured a very upscale private school one time, and they had silent time for the first 10 minutes of lunch. I found it creepy when we witnessed it, but I guess it works for them. My son would have exploded!)

[ChinaDoll]

Just as a side note: our school has silent lunches, and not every class gets to go outside every day. I hate that (and though it's not the reason we're homeschooling next year, it will be nice to leave that stringency behind).