"Baby will come at the right time" - any positive stories?

[lc81002]

My husband is in the Navy and has pretty much been screwed over with his work schedule so that he will be gone for 10 days and get back right before I'm due, then go right back out 9 days later. Best case scenario would be for the baby to come on the exact day he gets home so he will be there for the birth and then we'll have the full 9 days before he has to leave again for a few weeks. Otherwise, I'll have the baby while he is gone and I have nobody nearby that can stay with me to help out, etc. I know some people will do what they can to help out, but it's still not ideal and will be really difficult.

I've heard several people say that babies "know" when to come and that moms can also somewhat will themselves into either avoiding labor or starting it. My first son was 10 days early, and so far I don't think I will be having the baby by then, but there's no way to be sure. Anyone have a positive story about having a very small window of time that would be good for their baby to be born and they actually came then?

[ihugtrees]

I am personally just expecting my first, but I wanted to say My husband is also in the Navy and so I understand how it is. I really, really hope that your baby comes at the perfect time and that you can get some help after the birth.

Where are you located?

[lc81002]

Thanks. We are based in Norfolk, VA and live in Virginia Beach.

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by lc81002

My husband is in the Navy and has pretty much been screwed over with his work schedule so that he will be gone for 10 days and get back right before I'm due, then go right back out 9 days later. Best case scenario would be for the baby to come on the exact day he gets home so he will be there for the birth and then we'll have the full 9 days before he has to leave again for a few weeks. Otherwise, I'll have the baby while he is gone and I have nobody nearby that can stay with me to help out, etc. I know some people will do what they can to help out, but it's still not ideal and will be really difficult.

I've heard several people say that babies "know" when to come and that moms can also somewhat will themselves into either avoiding labor or starting it. My first son was 10 days early, and so far I don't think I will be having the baby by then, but there's no way to be sure. Anyone have a positive story about having a very small window of time that would be good for their baby to be born and they actually came then?

I am sorry that your window of opportunity is so small. However, it is better for the baby to decide when to come, even if the timing is inconvenient. I congratulate you on having a homebirth! (I know several midwives in the Hampton roads area, and my daughter lives in NN.)
Sometimes "willing" the birth to come sooner only creates stress in the mom and baby. Better to remain relaxed and a potentially faster birth. When are you due around? if you need to talk, you are welcome to e me. Have patience, it will be better all round... Do you have a doula you can talk with?

[lc81002]

I'm kind of confused by your post - I'm not planning on trying to induce my own labor or anything. I've just heard from several people that in situations like mine, babies know the right time to come. And I've also heard that a woman's body can kind of subconciously control when she goes into labor if she is really stressed about it happening within a certain window of time. I'm due March 3rd and my husband will be back a few days before my due date. I'm full term already (38 weeks and a few days), so labor could happen anytime now. Since my first son was 10 days early (naturally - he was also homebirthed), I guess I feel like I'm willing myself to go LATER rather than earlier, although I guess I have no idea if this one will be early/on time/late. I just know that there's no way I will relax about the thought of going into labor until I know my husband would be there when the baby is born. If I go into labor earlier anyway, I'm sure I'll find a way to let go and just deal with it, but I'm hoping that labor won't start until my husband is home (well, and that it will start very soon after he gets home, since he has to leave again!). I'm just looking for stories from people who were in a similar situation and the baby did come when they were hoping. I've been in close contact with my midwife and my family and friends, but right now it's just a waiting game.

[eko_mom]

I don't have experience with using this for birth, and I know it sounds esoteric, but I think that you can do visualization/meditation kinds of things "seeing" it going the way you want it to go. I have heard that women's labor stops when certain people enter the room, or in certain situations, so I do think there is something to being in the right frame of mind/space. Yet, of course, its not just you--its your baby too--and his or her "right time" might be different from yours!

Look up creative visualization on the Internet to get an idea how it could work for you...

I am hoping that my baby comes at night while my 3 y.o. daughter is sleeping...

[wbg]

Hugs mama...have not had exactly that experience, but with each of my 4 babies, I always think hmm..this might be labour but I am not sure. Anyway, I tell DH and nothing at all happens until he gets home. He is always not very close by. Within 5 minutes of him being home, the contractions go from is it or is it not, to oh my gosh, the baby is coming now! No doubt about is it or isn't it. I have short labours and it is as if my body will not actually start working until DH is around. But it could just be coincidence. With my 4th, she chose to come just before a weekend so we could maximize time with Dad, and on the only day of the week where I had a babysitter coming to help with my big kids! So there is hope that your Bub will come just when you need it to! Or not!! But I am willing your little one to arrive at the best time for Mum and Bub!!

[nj's_mom]

hugs to you-- my only child (dd) came right on time, right on her due date.

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by lc81002

I'm kind of confused by your post - I'm not planning on trying to induce my own labor or anything. I've just heard from several people that in situations like mine, babies know the right time to come.

I guess I was a little confused, too. I thought you might be asking how to assure yourself that the baby would come when Dad is home. I have never heard any way to do that, but I am glad you are waiting. I am sure things will work out fine. Sorry for the confusion...

[Amber Lion]

Well, I didn't have a small window really, but...

My Mom was going to drive 7 hours to be at the birth and had a TON of stuff crop up at her work that she really needed to deal with herself... and she knew she wasn't going to get it done till my due date.

Dh was building a house and really trying to get to a "stopping place" where he'd be able to keep his employees going by themselves for the week he planned to take off to be with me and the baby. He was rushing to get this in place, but knew it'd be set at least by my due date.

My midwife had finals in school, and her last one was the day before my due date.

Guess when my water broke and I went into labor? My due date.

[alison_in_oh]

My husband had two weeks of vacation available when my son was born, which he scheduled (about halfway through my pregnancy) to have starting from when I'd be 40w4d. If baby came before that, it might be tough for him to get off work; every day after that though was a day less that we'd have Daddy support postpartum. I went into labor when I was 40w3d, my husband called in a favor to have one shift covered, and thereafter we had the full two weeks with him.

For my daughter's birth, the window kept closing in. DH kept his schedule pretty free, so he'd be available for the birth and some postpartum support, from the time I was about 38.5 weeks to 41 weeks. But the doula/sitter for my son wasn't available for the couple of days surrounding my due date. So I told baby that 38.5 to 39.5 weeks was the ideal timing. She came right at 39 weeks.

[lc81002]

Thanks for sharing your stories. My baby did wait for his daddy to come home. Birth story here: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...1#post13316591