"I'm sad that there won't be other kids at my school"

[Nicks Mom]

Ok, break my heart and make me feel like I'm making a mean horrible choice to homeschool ds. Why does he have to say things like this?? If it were up to him, I know he'd choose regular public schooling. So how do I deal with it? What can I do to make him think our choice is the best? Are there homeschool kids shows like the Elmo he saw today with a public school on it (just fueled his fire)? I need some help. We have done and will be doing classes here and there at the Discovery Center, etc, but so far my mentioning those doesn't seem to pacify him. What can I do to make him happy with our choice?

[annettemarie]

Well, you can't make him happy about his choice. And kids (mine at least) always seem to bring up the negatives. My ten-year-old is still ticked off that he got a baby sister instead of a puppy. I think the best you can do is listen, and then carry on with all the awesome stuff you have planned for him.

If he were public schooled, he'd probably come home complaining about the kids in his class, homework, and his teacher. Kids complain.

[Lillian J]

He says things like that because he wants you to understand exactly how he feels - you're the person he looks to most for support and caring. And he might misunderstand what it means to homeschool - he might think you'll be conducting formal school with you as the teacher and him as the only student, rather than just a normal home life where he'll still be playing and doing new fun activities at home and out in the community, with plenty of play dates, park days, support group get togethers and/or other group activities.

It can be a lot of work at times, but it's well worth it to keep a social life going for a child who's homeschooling, especially an only child or the eldest with little siblings. An occasional class at a Discover Center in which he doesn't even have a good chance to play and socialize with the other children is no substitute for a social life - that could be almost like dangling food in front of a starving person. You can find leads in these lists of support groups, and tips in this current thread, can't find a local group. - Lillian

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

If he were public schooled, he'd probably come home complaining about the kids in his class, homework, and his teacher. Kids complain.

A great BIG ole YEAH THAT He's young and has a romanticized idea of school.. you know it.. we know it, but he has no way to understand that it isn't like what elmo shows all day every day As long as he's getting out & doing fun stuff, which is totally sounds like you have big plans , then that's all you really can do.

My soon to be 5yo is so bad about comments like that too.. but I know full well that he would not want to sit like a classroom would require So I've just put a lot more effort into getting out into some group activities and have had a few playdates here... it's gone a long way to stopping the whinging about it!

[Martha_2sons]

I agree with Evelyn's first point, that he just wants you to understand. I think it would go a long way to mirror back for him what he says to you/ what he's feeling. I think that just repeating back to him (and trying to feel what he must be feeling when he says it), "You feel sad that there won't be any other kids in your school." It doesn't mean that you agree with him that he'll have a friendless life, just that you understand that HE feels that way.

A good read in this area is: How to Talk So kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk.

By the way, I can totally relate to the glamourization of school in the media. My 2.5 year old picked up Spots First Day of School yesterday - yuck! Good luck on your homeschooling journey!

[Nicks Mom]

Thanks for your reassurance. He does tend to focus on the negative also. (Why do we NEVER do..... - hear that constantly - even after we've just done what he says we never do : - he's a 4yo that's already traveled to 13 States, goes to Barrage concerts, movies, playdates, museums - he's done more in his 4 yrs than I did in my first 20! He's even going to be in a wedding next month - I wasn't in someone's wedding until I was 40!!) Anyway. I appreciate the thoughts on just showing that I understand him - I do have that book - suppose I should get it out and do some more reading!
I'm sure I will be spending a lot more time here as we get more into it.
Thanks!