OMG - Starting to Panic

[yippityskippity]

OK, so here's the deal about me. When I decide to pursue something I pursue it with ALL MY HEART. I research like a crazy-woman. I talk to people. I read books. I basically immerse myself in the subject.

Well, ever since DH and I have decided to HS the girls starting next year (DD1 is in kindergarten, DD2 is 4yo) I've approached it with my usual obsessive fervor and it's actually been mostly good.

BUT. I've been reading books about teaching reading and every book comes across like their method is the BEST method. But, I'm in the midst of Reading Reflex, and OMG, it's totally freaking me out. Their method is THE method, every other approach is seriously lacking and if I use some other method I will be putting my precious girls at risk for a lifetime of illiteracy and depression. As a result, I hate this book. It's stressing me out!

But, what if the authors are right? What if I totally screw up my girls because I decided to teach them using a traditional phonics-based method?

I just don't want to screw this up. I never, never, never want to fail my kids in any serious way. And reading IS important.

I think I'm over-thinking this and being irrational. Someone please talk me down from the edge.

[4evermom]

I have no idea what Reading Reflex advocates, but I bet you your girls will learn to read whether you do nothing but answer any questions they ask (my preferred method for my particular child) or teach them phonics.

It'll be ok. Kids are flexible creatures.

[moominmamma]

Yup, I agree with 4evermom. That's the "method" that worked for us. Reading to my kids. Answering their questions. Providing them with the resources they ask for. Let them keep the reins and they'll lead you where they need to go. It really isn't rocket science unless you want to make it that.

Miranda

[elizawill]

you made me laugh outloud. you won't scar your children for life if you don't use a specific method or curriculum. i certainly don't know much, but i know for certain that's true! lol. hugs to you.

[Whistler]

My dad and I were actually just talking about this the other day. He learned using the "whole word" method (You remember Dick and Jane?) and I learned using Phonics. We both read very well.

I doubt it much matters how they learn to read. I'd say just pick one that looks like it will fit your kids' learning styles and have fun with it. Or let your kids pick. I think the thing that makes the most difference is YOU being excited about reading and modeling by reading books to yourself, to them, etc. Then the curriculum you choose will simply be a tool they use for something they already really want to learn.

My guess is that each curriculum tells you that all the other ones are terrible as a MARKETING PLOY to get you to buy their product....

[theretohere]

Originally Posted by Whistler

My guess is that each curriculum tells you that all the other ones are terrible as a MARKETING PLOY to get you to buy their product....

I think that there is a lot of validity in that arguement.

[Lillian J]

Whew.....Hunny, you have a long and very tough series of adventures ahead of you if you continue to think in terms of everything you do being a possible catastrophe for them . I think that if those of us who've already finished the journey were to make a list of "Wish we'd known then..." items, avoiding that line of thinking would definitely be one of them.

Reading - or anything else - doesn't need to be presented in one formal package. You try a little of this; you try a little of that; you listen and watch and observe; and you adjust to the needs you see... No big deal. They have all the time in the word - and then some - to get the basic tools. And meanwhile, they're learning up a storm about everything around them. Calm the heck down - and don't ever pay attention to any book that tells you there's only one way to do anything.

Just have fun with them, explore with them, introduce interesting things, model curiosity and a love of learning. Homeschooling is a wonderful lifestyle - it's not one hurdle or challenge after another. Enjoy. Lillian

[yippityskippity]

Kids are down for the night (yahoo! and I'm kinda' embarrassed about my little reading meltdown I just really love my kids and want to do right by them. I was raised by very neglectful parents (physical, education, you name it) and so I tend to go through phases where I go into parenting overdrive and make sure that I'm doing the opposite of what they did (or, more accurately, didn't do) It's kind of complicated. Anyway, thanks for the perspective and words of wisdom. They helped

[Whistler]

Originally Posted by yippityskippity

Kids are down for the night (yahoo! and I'm kinda' embarrassed about my little reading meltdown I just really love my kids and want to do right by them. I was raised by very neglectful parents (physical, education, you name it) and so I tend to go through phases where I go into parenting overdrive and make sure that I'm doing the opposite of what they did (or, more accurately, didn't do) It's kind of complicated. Anyway, thanks for the perspective and words of wisdom. They helped

I can see why you might get a little panicky from time to time! But they will learn to read, don't worry.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by yippityskippity

Kids are down for the night (yahoo! and I'm kinda' embarrassed about my little reading meltdown I just really love my kids and want to do right by them. I was raised by very neglectful parents (physical, education, you name it) and so I tend to go through phases where I go into parenting overdrive and make sure that I'm doing the opposite of what they did (or, more accurately, didn't do) It's kind of complicated. Anyway, thanks for the perspective and words of wisdom. They helped

Everyone has their anxiety attacks along the way - and you'll learn to flow with them and move on, just as you did tonight. - Lillian

[water]

I actually used Reading Reflex with my DS and it worked great! But I am not using it with my DD because she is learning to read a whole different way.

My point is you end up using what is right for each kid, which may change for each kid and may even change for the same kid as they get older. It's really fun to check out all the curricula, but you don't have to USE it all; I have ended up with some things I never use, but whatever, it's all a learning process for me, too.

Originally Posted by yippityskippity

OK, so here's the deal about me. When I decide to pursue something I pursue it with ALL MY HEART. I research like a crazy-woman. I talk to people. I read books. I basically immerse myself in the subject.

Well, ever since DH and I have decided to HS the girls starting next year (DD1 is in kindergarten, DD2 is 4yo) I've approached it with my usual obsessive fervor and it's actually been mostly good.

BUT. I've been reading books about teaching reading and every book comes across like their method is the BEST method. But, I'm in the midst of Reading Reflex, and OMG, it's totally freaking me out. Their method is THE method, every other approach is seriously lacking and if I use some other method I will be putting my precious girls at risk for a lifetime of illiteracy and depression. As a result, I hate this book. It's stressing me out!

But, what if the authors are right? What if I totally screw up my girls because I decided to teach them using a traditional phonics-based method?

I just don't want to screw this up. I never, never, never want to fail my kids in any serious way. And reading IS important.

I think I'm over-thinking this and being irrational. Someone please talk me down from the edge.

[pigpokey]

It's not like you are picking a first grade for your daughter and comparing their reading programs. There, if you pick wrong, you're not going to get them to change. If you don't like the method you chose first, you start another method.

Your older daughter may be reading fluently by September and you may be doing something different than what you think.

We have mostly used 100 EZ Lessons for K (end of Sept - end of Jan) but now are splitting time between easy readers and 100 EZ Lessons. Our work time is very brief. She's accomplished about a grade and a half of reading progress in that time. I have progressive easy readers from the Hooked on Phonics jumbo pack I bought years ago, and some used ones from the thrift store or the free pile at home school classes.

[Melis]

Hello! (((hugs)))

I was/am exactly how you are describing yourself with regards to researching and immersing. I can TOTALLY empathize. I find the Language Arts part of homeschooling to be the MOST complicated in terms of selecting curriculum and getting a good "flow" between all of the subjects that fall under the umbrella of L/A.

I use a lot of the Well-Trained Mind and Charlotte Mason recommendations. We began our reading journey with the recommended "Ordinary Parents Guide to Reading" (OPGTR) to be supplimented with Explode the Code (ETC) and BOB Books. This just didn't work for us. My son didn't didn't do well with the gentle approach of OPGTR...He was bored and it just wasn't "sticking". I found it difficult to match the workbook lessons in ETC to the teaching lessons in OPGTR. I wanted more "flow" so I purchased the Teacher's Manuals for ETC. The TM's were great, but I found the BOB books weren't enough to practice what he was learning (in terms of having books - readers - to practice). I was SO FRUSTRATED. It just felt like I couldn't find what I was looking for. Something that included lessons, worksheets and readers that all "flowed". After purchasing all the above (OUCH) I found exactly what I was looking for at Learning A-Z. I cannot recommend their Reading A-Z program enough. It has EVERYTHING! Best of all, there are readers that go along with every lesson. You get a comprehensive phonics and reading program for all elementary grades in one place. The bad part is that a one year subscription is a bit costly ($79.95) and you need to print out all of your materials. But even so, I feel it is completely worth it. The Homeschooler Buyers Co-op is going to be offering a group discount in the very near future so you may want to give it a look. Last year Learning A-Z had a week where they allowed homeschoolers to view their site at no charge. I think it was in the month of May.

Reading A-Z

Homeschool Buyers Co-op

[mamatowill]

Don't panic your girls will learn to read. I know as a teacher that they keep changing the methods that we use to teach students every 10 years or so. Phonics is the way to teach, no wait it is whole language, etc. Every child learns differently so the best advice is to find what works for the child and relax and have fun. The biggest thing I tell parents is that they need to read with their children.

[rainbowmum]

I have used reading reflex with my kids and think it is a good book. After quite a way through the book we also did some whole word recognition.
Although lots of folk on here will tell you not to worry, kids will learn to read, I personally didn't find that. My dd1 read at 10. My dd 13 is not comepletely fluent yet (maybe dyslexia). I started phonic instruction with the 2 younger ones (6 and 9) who can both read some bits. For me I wish I had started some instruction earlier (5?) as it has seriously affected my kids especially my older daughters confidence. Mine don't seem to have the "it clicks" gene like other home-schooled kids and the reading has been difficult!

[LauraLoo]

Hugs!

I think one of the most helpful things that you can do is pay close attention to how your dc's learn and explore. Do they need short bursts of material or long interrupted time to absorb, are they visual or auditory learners (or kinesthetic or a combination,) what time of day do they seem ready to focus, what subjects are they interested in, do you like to teach from curriculum that is scripted or follows a loose interpretation --- All of these questions and so, so much more will help you as you look at curriculum and methods. Because truly, what is the "best" method for some is a complete flop for another child, and it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with the child or the method/curriculum. There is no one path for the best way to homeschool, no "one size fits all," and there's nothing wrong with starting down a path and reassessing if it isn't working.

I also think that having an "educational philosophy" might help you stay on focus of what's really important. What does education and home learning mean to you?

You'll be fine. You don't have to lay out the next 10 years today, tomorrow or any time in the near future!

[Melis]

Awesome advice, Laura! I feel exactly the same way!