Spin-off: Things your child remembers - Page 2

[EXOLAX]

I think the memory capabilities of children are astounding and fascinating. I have a difficult time gauging if the memory capabilities of our DC's are average or not, considering the incredible amount of growth and development that happens during those younger years in all children. While DH and I have always commented on our elephant children, I hear so many parents amazed by what their children are able to recall that at times I wonder if it's just normal development during those early years. Does anyone have any research on this, or are there parents of older children out there who can jump in with some stories of their own, beyond those peak recollection years about what their children were able to recall at a younger age but still can (or can't)?

Many years ago I took a psychology course and I recall the professor chatting about childrens memories. I remember he said that around the age of 2-3 children are able to recall their births, but eventually may loose the actual memory, replaced by stories or images of it. I did a quick google search on the subject and came up with this:
http://health.howstuffworks.com/remember-birth.htm

Interestingly enough YDD (4) and I were playing 'house' just the other day. She wanted to be the baby inside my uterus and wanted me to call the midwives. I said "Ok, I'm pushing now" and she said "no, you aren't pushing, I'm pushing myself out, with my feet, I have to get out of there and into the water and you are taking too long so I did it myself".

Interestingly enough this is pretty much exactly what happened. I was in labor for 20 hours, I pushed for only 6 minutes and during that time the midwives were unable to detect a heartbeat and were saying "we have to the baby out now!". With my first DC the pushing phase was relaxing and controlled, with YDD I was not pushing at all and I yelled at everyone not to touch me because it felt like they were pulling her out, yet they weren't touching me at all. I would describe it as she was pushing herself out....

That said it's plausable DD has heard me talk about her birth, though I know I have not described to her in such a way, I may have chatted with someone else about it within ear shot of her, thus affecting her memory of the event.

I'm intrigued by the discussion of young gifted children and their memories in comparison to the general populace and am off to do more research.

[nettieferg]

Just My Own Experience.

I sometimes feel frustrated because I am the only one who remembers things forever (and I remember EVERYTHING back to about age 3/4). It feels kind of lonely, because I have no one with which to share these memories. So, I can't say that a phenomenal memory is exactly the end-all.

On a brighter side, DH remembers NAMES, something I have never been good at -- I remember anything visual, but not always words. A PP mentioned that she could drive somewhere but not tell you how to get there. That is me -- I am like that with a phone number too -- give me a phone, I'm there -- no phone? Hope you have Yellow Pages handy.

I was tested at 160 IQ, as a child (so, not as high as lots of the kids on here) -- but, anyway - here is your example of a GK all grown up -- memory still here; often think it is more of a curse than a blessing. (Remember Tuck Everlasting? It is like yesterday so WASN'T.)

[lizajane30]

Never been in this forum before, but DH and I have definitely entertained thoughts that DS may be gifted in some way...and this thread caught my eye.

Driving through town a few days ago, DS suddenly pointed out the window and said, "Mama, I just saw the house where we used to live!" What he had pointed out, in fact, was an apartment building we visited ONCE for about 10 minutes to see if we wanted to rent there, when DS was 14 months old. We've never talked about it or pointed it out to him since then. He's now just over 3.

I have to say, though, that this thread reminds me of a study I read about in a child development class at university, in which 6mo babies were brought into a lab room with their mothers. The lights were turned out and when they were turned on again, each baby had a box sitting on the floor in front of them, inside of which was a toy. One year later, they returned to that same lab, and the lights were once again turned out. The children immediately reached out for the box they remembered would appear in front of them.

I enjoyed reading this thread, and reading about the kids who remember their birth gave me chills. I hope my kids have fond memories of their births; I know I do!

[readytobedone]

i've heard this about young kids remembering birth...i plan to talk to DD about that when she's more verbal

i don't have a great example of this kind of "narrative" memory (remembering when we went to such and such, wearing this or that) because DD doesn't talk a whole lot yet, can't tell stories, etc., but at her old DCP's house, there was this easel with chalk on it. she loved the chalk. DCP put it away after the first day/week because DD was putting it in her mouth (she was 11 months old then)...but she kept going to that easel and looking for the chalk for a long, long time after that. months!

ETA: i definitely remember being in our first house as a child. i remember what the rug looked like exactly and described it to my mom once, and she was really surprised i remembered that. we moved when i was about 11 months old.

[kblackstone444]

My son remembers the day we moved into our first apartment with just the two of us. He was a few days short of 20 months olf. He can describe the boxes and wanting to sleep in his own bedroom "like a big boy" all by himself and how the boxes were scaring him so he came back to bed with me, and how he was wearing his "pink" pajamas (which was the last time he wore them because they were getting so small).

My little girl's first memory was me dropping her. : She was about 3 1/2. It was during a severe lightning storm and I was carrying her and running from the car in the driveway to the door and I slipped on the water. I wasn't even a puddle- it was a good inch of water everywhere on the ground. My foot slipped, and I went down. In my defence, I messed up both my knees, blood everywhere and actually cracked my kneecap, but I didn't "drop" her until I was already on the ground and only then did my arms give out. I "dropped" her from about two or three inches and she bumped her head, but didn't have a single mark. Me, if I had dropped her when I started to fall, I probably could have avoided being myself being injured at all, but I've got this scar on my knee now that my little girl calls my "I love Katherine scar". Not bad for a first memory, huh?

My Hubby says he doesn't really remember anything until his teen years, which concerns me a bit, but I remember breaking my leg two weeks shy of my second birthday and I can tell the story better than anyone else who was there.

[labdogs42]

Just the other day DS asked me, "Mommy, why is Bob so good at puzzles?". I said, "Bob, Bob who?", he said "Bob from Survivor.". I let DS watch Survivor with me and he was talking about the guy who won last time, Bob the Physics professor! We hadn't even been talking about Survivor. It was weird. He does that kind of stuff all the time, like with his clothes and remembering what he wore where, telling me to use the nail scissors instead of the clippers and then proceeding to tell me exactly what drawer they are in and where they are in the drawer. I totally forgot I HAD nail scissors until we had that conversation!

Kids are cool, aren't they?:

[boysmom2]

When DS1 had just turned 2 he and I went to visit my parents for a week. One night DS1 just didn't want to go to sleep and I was pregnant with DS2 at the time and really tired. So my Dad took him so I could sleep. He carried him around in the dark living room for a long time until he finally fell asleep. This was not a particularly significant part of our trip, so we never talked about it again. Then, 6 months later, after DS2 was born, my parents came to visit. DS1 said to my Dad, "Hey Grandpa, remember when we were at your house and you were walking around in the dark with me, trying to get me to sleep? The message light on your answering machine was blinking, who called?"

[expecting-joy]

What can I not understand, that is very obviously real to others? There must be lots.

I l:ve this question!

[avivaelona]

I remember my first birthday party, being given a toy doll, and my grandfather who died shortly after. I don't remember anything else though until I was closer to two. We have pictures of my grandfather, and home movies of my first birthday so that helped me retain those memories I think. However, I can remember receiving the doll and the full outfit she had, while in the home movie I already have her and she's no longer wearing her clothes. What's interesting about it is that I walked for the first time the day after my first birthday and while I don't remember that, I do remember the sensation of feeling unbalanced and holding on to the coffee table while reaching up for the doll. I remember everything being knees and legs too. Other than that one sensation feeling though everything is in "snapshots". My first narrative memory is from shortly after I turned two.

My son at 2.5 regularly remembered things from before he was one, but when asked about some of them recently he said he couldn't remember them anymore. However, when we watch some home movies we have, he sometimes remembers details that are not in the movies. At 4 he still remembers and brings up things that happened before he turned two, and he remembers things with much more detail than I ever did.

Interestingly when he was three or so we asked him "do you ever forget anything" and he said "no" but when asked the same question recently he says "yes, sometimes". I find that fascinating, I wonder if children do gain the ability to forget at some age. If you think about it, its a good ability to have. As it is my head is just stuffed with the lyrics to bad '80's songs and I'm sure that it impacts my ability to retain new information. I'd like to be able to let the lyrics to "hungry like the wolf" go, and in return be able to remember ... um anything ... from the past few days.

Edited to add, since DS is not particularly ahead in academic skills, it's this phenomenal memory that makes me think he is gifted, at least in some areas.

[VTheDad]

Mine has told me the story several times about the umbilical cord. Last night once again.  He describes it by holding his hands in front of his belly and making the shape like he is holding it. 

[expecting-joy]

My 4 yo remembers her birth vividly and has recounted it many times since she could first tell me about it in words ~ probably around 14-16 months.

[chaimom]

My dd has a December bday and I was trying to get away with the lie that we don't have home birthday parties in the winter when kids can't play outside.  My dd (4, going on 5) told me that we had in fact had her bday parties at home-- when she turned one, and when she turned 2.  (I don't have printed pictures of either party.)  She was able to tell me who attended her 2nd bday party, and what her cake looked like at both parties!  Of her 1st birthday party: "I can't believe you gave me chocolate cake.  You know I hate chocolate cake!"  Actually, that was the first time she had ever had cake, so I had no idea she wouldn't like it then or now!!

Another weird memory for her, we went into a store when she was 3 that we hadn't been into for about 1 1/2 years.  She said, "This is where we bought my snowman lovie," which we had-- when she was 18 months old. 

[nerdmomma6885]

Wow! Interesting forum! OK, let's see.

When I was at a mall, they had all these restaurants, including Panda Express, and my first DD said that once I told her that I didn't want her to go to Panda Express for lunch, but I don't remember that. She must have been REALLY, really young then. She said that ever since then, she never asked to go there again, even though she loves chinese food. As a result, she's never gone until recently. I answered, "Maybe that's because it's so expensive!"

My second DD and I were talking the other day about her former speech therapists, and she mentioned remembering going to a speech therapist's house when she was just TWO YEARS OLD. To top it off, she said that she remembered that there was a game there that she only saw once in her whole life: "something about not waking up Daddy?" she said. And I was like, "Oh, yeah! It was called "'Don't Wake Up Daddy!'" Weird, though.... she could read at age two? I don't know how she knew that it was called that.

[nerdmomma6885]

Quote:

Before a health crisis, I had an eidetic/photographic memory. I used to 'study' by looking at pages in my textbook before an exam and then I'd read them for the first time in my memory as they appeared on the page. It seems that ds1 has this sort of memory too. The oddest thing is that even when I had that ability, I have never been able to 'see' human faces in my memory- even of my family members.

Oh, yeah! I'm the same way. When I was younger, I usually only had to read something once or twice and then later for tests i would just imagine the page, and then somehow i would remember what was said on the page- sometimes word for word. (Actually, I'm better at this after I watch a T.V. show and someone asks me what the show was about- i can replicate whole conversations and even what they were doing in the scene- its so funny because my friends would watch the show later, and they'd be like, "Oh, yeah- didn't you tell me about this one?" LOL.) It's also extremely helpful to have this kind of memory when it comes to spelling bees.

The reason why you probably don't remember faces as well because you didn't really impress them on you. your brain didn't go, ok, shes got this birthmark on her cheek (or is it a mole?), and she has a cleft chin..." unless you stared at their faces, trying to memorize them. but that would be awkward.

Sorry, rambling now...

[Triniity]

My kids keep asking for the aupair who was supposed to look after them, he stayed with us for three days and DS was 12 month old, DD 26. I always thought that this was weird and probably me making them remember...but now I might think different.

DD tells her Granddad every time he visits, that he is not supposed to bite her finger. He did that (a wrestle gone bad) when she was two years old.

My first memory is when I am about a year old, I am alone with my brother and our dog and there is a thunderstorm and we are afraid. I have no idea where my parents are, they swear they never left us alone, but I remember this very clearly.

[RiverTam]

Originally Posted by babygirl24 

I have memories of things that happened at an apartment when I was young. We moved to a house when I was about 18 months, so these are before that.

DD who is 5 (6 next month) made references to something that happened before she turned 3. Actually the funny thing is none of us can remember exactly how old she was when it happened. LOL We just know it was before we moved the house we are currently in and she was 2 1/2 at that time.

Yeah. Me, too. I have distinct memories of an apartment complex that we lived in from age 1 until I was about 21 months.  My husband, who has a MA in clinical psych, insists that all of his texts say children can't remember that young, but I remember lots of stuff about that place and things that happened there. According to DH, there is some speculation in the psychological community that long term memory comes in when language comes in. If a child has early language development, it makes total sense that she also has earlier long term memories. 
 

[Stephenie]

The first thing I remember is jumping up and down in my crib, wanting someone to come get me. I could see my parents through the crack in the door having cake with my grandparents. I jumped and jumped until I threw up. Then my mom came and got me and I got to see my grandparents. 

In that same house- we moved when I was three- I remember watching a Roadrunner cartoon while coloring in a Roadrunner coloring book. I was really excited that they were the same, but I did not have the verbal ability to explain it to my mom. I am guessing because of that, I must have been pretty young as I was a pretty verbal kid by all accounts. I remember several other things from that time period, all when I was under three- ranging from major life events to little moments no one else was present for (one of those is sneaking into the kitchen and eating a handful of margarine...gag!) I also remember starting preschool, which I did at two. I actually thought that it was pretty normal to remember that far back until my husband and I exchanged childhood memories when we were dating and he could not remember anything before seven or so. 

My son is 4 1/2 and remembers everything (not his birth though!) but he has brought up an incident multiple times that happened when he was 14-ish months old. Our dog got out and was picked up by animal control. We went to get her at the humane society the next day and Keagan remembers her hopping up into the car and licking him and how we were so happy to get our doggie back. It's not something we ever really discussed with him. 

He also brings up all sorts of stuff from when we lived in Washington, we moved before he turned three. He remembers our neighbor's dog when he was two, friends he has not seen since we moved... he remembers the way to people's houses there when we visit. He remembers going camping for the first time shortly after his 2nd birthday. He brings up toys he had as a baby.

Oddly, he has totally blocked out any memory of my inlaws, who he last saw shortly after turning three. But memories with them were not exactly good, so maybe it's a self defense mechanism. 

[Nicole730]

These stories are awesome!  I'm totally going to open-end question DS (3 yrs) tomorrow and see what he has to say about being born. 

My earliest memory is when I was sleeping at the baby-sitters house in a playpen and I pooped in my pants.  I was over the age of 2, but not close to 3.  I remember the gross feeling of me trying to climb out of the playpen and I remember crying as I bent over in the bathtub to get wiped.  The sitter told me I needed to use the toilet if I didn't like the way it felt.

Oh, maybe this one is earlier, because it's the sitter I had before that one, I remember that the potty chair was in the kitchen and I remember people clapping when I would use the potty.  I potty-trained right around my 2nd birthday.

I am embarrassed to say, I know my son remembers being 14 months old because that's when he switched to his crib from our bed for nighttime.  He recently asked me why I left him in his crib crying sometimes when he wanted me come get him.   I was heartbroken when he told me he remembered that.

[KaliShanti]

I was driving on backroads I havn't driven on in a very long time with DS, age 4.5, the other day. He pointed out my midwife's house (it had been pointed out to him before a while ago), then said, "Do you remember that tiny plastic baby I got from her? She gave it to me in the little office with all the books." My midwife had given my DS, then about 22 months, a small plastic fetus during my pregnancy with DD in the library at the birth center. He is always bring up very small unimportant memories like that. Another one was how Daddy shared a Sweet-Tart with him on the airplane to Mexico in May of 2010. Not as far back as birth obviously, but it's the fine details of the thing that always makes me laugh.

[hsmamato2]

one of my sisters remembers standing in her crib watching the day my mom brought me home from the hospital,she is 13 months older than I am.

  I remember distinctly when my (13 months older than myself) sister sat on the couch and taught me to read on my own. I was 4,she was 5.

She also taught me to tie my shoes before I went to kindergarten,and I attended at age 4 (the whole reading thing)

   Ummm....both my kids have much better and longer memories than I do.

 Does any of this make us different than the norm? who knows...... I know my sister has a bizarre memory capability. Which is not such a good thing.