or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Toddler Health › Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy › "Baby NEEDS touch mama's udda boob!"
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

"Baby NEEDS touch mama's udda boob!"

post #1 of 65
Thread Starter 
Says my 29 month old DS. Every single time he nurses for the last few months he tries to put his hand inside my shirt and touch my other boob. The nipple touching drives me insane. I physically can't stand it. I have tried everything I can think of. I have gently removed his hand each time and explained that it hurts me and he needs to stop. I brought out his nursing necklace and tried explaining that he could play with it instead of my other boob. I have tried heading it off at the pass by explaining before he nurses that he is not allowed to touch my other boob and if he does I will have to put him down. He says he understands, then as soon as he is nursing, straight for the twiddling. *sigh*

He gets extremely upset when I remove his hand to the point of literally "fighting" my hand away with his own. He cries. He yells. Then comes the "Baby needs touch mama's udda boob! Baby NEEDS to!" I have managed to stay calm every single time and follow through on putting him down each time he does it, but it is really getting old. He does it every single time he nurses, which is still many, many times a day and night.

I got AF back about 6 months ago and he started with his "udda boob" obsession about 3 months ago. I don't feel like my supply has dropped, but I have thought that it might be one explanation. Other than that, I am at a loss as to why he is doing this now and how I can get him to stop.

Any suggestions?
post #2 of 65
no suggestions but I *am* : at the imagery...and betting my 9mo does the same thing, as she's a nipple twiddler also

Good luck mama!
post #3 of 65
Oh man, I had a nipple twiddler too! Your LO's comment made me smile.

I've heard that a reason for doing it is to get a better letdown. I know of other moms of toddlers who have experienced the twiddling as well, you are definitely not alone.
post #4 of 65
My son tried that and it creeped me out too. I don't care if there's an physiological reason for it, it doesn't feel good, so I just consistently removed his hand and said "no." Maybe you could get a nursing necklace that he could "twiddle" while he breastfeeds.

At this point, if his vocabulary is that good, then he's old enough to learn to respect other people's boundaries. If you were to allow it, even though it made you feel weird, you would start to have resentments towards his breastfeeding and that wouldn't be good for either of you.
post #5 of 65
You definitely have the right to set that limit with your body. Have you tried wearing a nursing bra or tank so the other side is covered, even under your shirt? This works for me and my little twiddler, and it's much harder for me to stop her when I only have on a shirt with no bra (like at night).
post #6 of 65
Oh man, I'm so sorry! This would drive me crazy! My 3yr old thinks it's funny every once in a while to try this because of my reaction! I have NEVER had a twiddler- and I don't know that I could handle one to be honest. From a non-twiddler pov I would say that you are doing a great job staying consistant and gentle in your approach to dealing with this situation. I would also try to TALK about nursing before you let him nurse, and other times in the day when he's not nursing about how to leave the udda one alone. He sounds very smart and I think with some gentle reminders during the day he will eventually get the picture of not doing it.

Could AF also be making you more sensative to his touching? Has he always been a twiddler? I hope you get this handled! Hang in there momma!
post #7 of 65
My 13 mo does this too. She will slip her hand into my bra/tank and caress and twiddle. During the day it doesn't bother me like it does at night. I have tried to give her a *lovey* she doesn't want anything to do with it. She is either twiddling her hair or my other boob. This makes it difficult to nip because she is lifting my shirt to get at the other boob. I thought it was kinda cute at first but.... she is getting more agressive with her get to the other boobie tactics!
post #8 of 65
My 2.75yr old has always been a nipple twiddler. It didn't bother me when he was small but sometime after I got AF back when he was 20months it started to become an issue for me, especially around AF time. I try to have other things handy for him to twiddle (beads I'm wearing, clothes, my hand) and say very gently no twiddling it hurts mama's num nums (his milk word) somtimes when he is very upset or tired I still let him twiddle and he is generally ok with this (we've been working on it a good few months now)
post #9 of 65
Both of my boys (now 6 yrs, weaned, and 13 months, still nursing) have been enthusiastic nipple twiddlers! My older son called it "foodling." (As in, "Mommy, can I nurse? I promise I won't foodle!") As another poster said, when he was small I didn't mind it; it was kind of sweet. By the time he was about 18 months old it drove me crazy and I wished I'd never let him start! So with my second I tried distracting him from my other nipple as soon as he showed interest...but I confess there have been times it wasn't annoying and I was distracted with working on something and so I let him "foodle." I know that lately he has wanted to do it more and it also has annoyed me more due to pre-menstrual sensitivity. It's really common to have slower flow or somewhat reduced supply before a period and has been the case for me.

Stimulating mom's other nipple has a similar effect to double pumping. In a way baby is "turning up" the milk flow. Seems babies are hard-wired to be able to get what they need!

I've also noticed that my toddler, while nursing, will pinch, slap, and even bite me to get my attention if he's pretty much done and I'm working on the computer. That's my cue to wrap it up & do more work another time; however I also do not continue nursing after he hits or bites me! I give an appropriate toy and say, "Bite this." Or "let's drum on the floor!" Sometime's it's an attention-getter too.

Good luck!
post #10 of 65
I put ds down every time - no warning or anything (after the first times obviosly when I tried to negotiate!). We just stopped and were done for a while before I'd let him try again.
post #11 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biscuits & Gravy View Post
Oh man, I had a nipple twiddler too! Your LO's comment made me smile.

I've heard that a reason for doing it is to get a better letdown. I know of other moms of toddlers who have experienced the twiddling as well, you are definitely not alone.
My son does this too. He's 2.
post #12 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom View Post
At this point, if his vocabulary is that good, then he's old enough to learn to respect other people's boundaries. .
Not to single you out, but because you said what I used to think.

I thought for sure by the 912th time of telling DS "just one" and "don't touch the other nipple!" he'd get the point (actually I'm sure he hears it about 20Xs/day and has been nursing now for 3.5yrs). But still at 3.5, he just cannot RESIST which makes me think it runs deeper than logic and is truly beyond their control.

To cope, I've noticed it happens just before he is ready to switch so when I can maintain my composure, I ask him: would you like the other one? I can tolerate a firm, constatn preassure, so sometimes I lay my flat hand over his and keep it covered. I also do my best to keep the other one in-accessable.
post #13 of 65
Oh man do I feel your pain...I've weaned my boy since a week ago now but the twiddling still perseveres!

I get "pwease mammy jus hand der"

what can i do? it is sooooo annoying, but i adore the little prince and he goes into such a comfy trance...

sometimes when he pinches suddenly i could almost smack his hand!

it is the pits...!
post #14 of 65
i feel your pain...I have always hated it and it's gotten about 6 trillion billion gazillion times worse since I got pregnant. It bothers me more, and he wants to do it more, too. GAH.
post #15 of 65
DS always pats or pinches my other breast while he nurses. It doesn't bother me
post #16 of 65
If my 13.5 month old could talk I am certain he would say that he "NEEDS" to twiddle the other boob. He is absolutely obsessed with it and will widdle his way under my arm/hand/shirt/whatever. If he cannot get at it he will arch his back and cry and through a huge fit. I am trying to be consistent, but anyone who nurses knows you get distracted and when this happens -boom- he's right there twiddling. I don't like it, but it is incredibly soothing to him. Like others have said he's not interested in twiddling with anything but mama's milk.
post #17 of 65
Mine (32 months) does this ALL THE TIME. He discovered twiddling shortly after he developed arm control.

I do not have the energy to fight it all the time -- it's just too ridiculous. I did make a concerted, consistent effort to stop it entirely, and I just didn't have the patience for it. I don't think he is entirely able to control it.

However, I am especially sensitive at certain points in my cycle, and sometimes I'm just plain irritated or irritable, so I set some limits. I taught him to fold his hands together (as in, "Here's the church, here's the steeple, open the doors, and here are the people!") and when I need him to, I tell him to please keep his hands together, and he will do it for long enough for me to recover my sanity.

mama.

If it is any consolation, you are not alone. Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68Dr3-l6ugQ

(It's a lovely video whether or not you have a twiddler, but there are twiddling scenes that, judging from other comments, are very evocative for those of us with twiddlers!)
post #18 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post
Mine (32 months) does this ALL THE TIME. He discovered twiddling shortly after he developed arm control.

I do not have the energy to fight it all the time -- it's just too ridiculous. I did make a concerted, consistent effort to stop it entirely, and I just didn't have the patience for it. I don't think he is entirely able to control it.

However, I am especially sensitive at certain points in my cycle, and sometimes I'm just plain irritated or irritable, so I set some limits. I taught him to fold his hands together (as in, "Here's the church, here's the steeple, open the doors, and here are the people!") and when I need him to, I tell him to please keep his hands together, and he will do it for long enough for me to recover my sanity.

mama.

If it is any consolation, you are not alone. Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68Dr3-l6ugQ

(It's a lovely video whether or not you have a twiddler, but there are twiddling scenes that, judging from other comments, are very evocative for those of us with twiddlers!)
LOVE the video, thanks for sharing!
post #19 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theoretica View Post
LOVE the video, thanks for sharing!
::
post #20 of 65
HUGS!!!

We are so there too! DS is 19 mo and is a pain in the butt about it! He just will not stop! If it's not the other boob, it's the belly button digging, if I cover that up, he finds a skin tag that I have and tugs on that. It's infuriating.

And if I hold one hand, the other creeps up out of nowhere. He's like an octopus. Or one of those giant squids you see in old pirate movies with tentacles all over swallowing a ship. That's what it feels like to me.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Toddler › Toddler Health › Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy › "Baby NEEDS touch mama's udda boob!"