"Baby NEEDS touch mama's udda boob!" - Page 2

[MamieCole]

Originally Posted by BarnMomma

And if I hold one hand, the other creeps up out of nowhere. He's like an octopus. Or one of those giant squids you see in old pirate movies with tentacles all over swallowing a ship. That's what it feels like to me.

Oh boy...that visual made me :
It certainly feels like they must have eight arms when they are determined to get their twiddle on, huh?

Thanks so much for the advice and commiseration mamas...I never realized this was so common with toddlers. Guess I just have to keep on keeping on with being consistent and eventually he'll stop. Until then, I just have to hope we continue to avoid the pleading to touch my "udda boob" in public. Can't imagine the looks I would get over that one.

[sagemomma]

lol ok first off, his little comment. toooo precious.
i know how ya feel though, mine liked to scratch with his nails on my other boob, itty bitty nails are tickly and painful at the same time lol.
now he is weaned but still likes to hold them when he's fussy or sleepy, eh i just let him it won't last long that he gets to snuggle on boobs whenever he feels the need for some comfort lol

[Carlyle]

What's helped my dd is that I've been teaching her to "keep your hand away from my nipple." For me, it's okay if she touches the boob itself as long as she's far away from the nipple. It seems to be enough of a compromise for us that it works (not that she doesn't need constant reminders, but it certainly helps).

[surfamy]

Hi Mama,

My suggestion would be to use your forearm to block the other breast. I have no idea why they gravitate towards the other breast, but mine did too. I just put my forearm over my other nipple while I am nursing and thus block any attempts to touch the nipple. Hope this helps!

Cheers,
Amy

[JenLiz]

i think you can't convince you toddler to stop, it's in their nature=== it's automatic I think. So....

we do most of our nursing in bed now (nap time and night time) and when I have had enough of the twiddling i ask her if she wants "the other milk" (knowing she'll say yes) and I switch to where I'm side lying still, but the bottom boob she WAS nursing from is now against the mattress and i lean in toward her so now she's nursing from the top boob. make sense? then, she has nothing to twiddle and helps her fall asleep.

[BellaClaudia]

my dd is just the same.. it kicked in at certain age and it was VERY IMPORTANT for her... nowdays I can trade touching the other boob with playing with my sleve of the hand that is not supporting the head..

so.. I used to be uspet too and tried to stop it but I red so many posts of people that had the same issue and I figured that if every baby practically does it then it must be some sort of preprogrammed need and it must mean something to them.

I tend to think that it is associated with either self comforting and keeping busy or increasing milk production.. as might stimulate something somwere and actually increase either milk flow or cause let down in the other boob having it ready when she changes boobs.. or
is it really just a comforting issue I don't know..

but untill some 3 or so she would just be tremendously upset if I would not let her do it so sometimes I gave up but asked to be rrrrrrrrrreaaly gentle with it and only a little bit.. so that did the trick and then she played with something else.

I really think that they really need to do this and they really can't help it.
it is one of those things that nature put for a reason.. we just don't know why. so till then it is worth of compromise as it might be actually serving some purpose that we are not aware and interfeareing or altogether cutting off the procedure might do some damage to their ego?

jsut don't know.

[PTmorgan]

Boy, I can sympathize! DS is 21 months old, and I'm 30 weeks pregnant with #2. I can't stand his twiddling, and he's been doing it ever since I got pregnant. I have to have my forearm or hand planted over my other breast - that's the only way I can get through it. He still fights to get his hand under mine every day, but not every nursing.

I had never thought about having the twiddling do something to milk letdown. As soon as I became pregnant, my milk supply dried up almost overnight even though DS was nursing 6-8 times/day.

[joyfulgrrrl]

Originally Posted by MamieCole

Oh boy...that visual made me :
It certainly feels like they must have eight arms when they are determined to get their twiddle on, huh?

Thanks so much for the advice and commiseration mamas...I never realized this was so common with toddlers. Guess I just have to keep on keeping on with being consistent and eventually he'll stop. Until then, I just have to hope we continue to avoid the pleading to touch my "udda boob" in public. Can't imagine the looks I would get over that one.

I think it's so funny that you still believe he'll stop. Based on my experience with my DD.....it just isn't going to happen. Toddlers/preschoolers are unbelievably persistent. I've removed my DD's hand from the boob 300,000 times and she still tries EVERY TIME. I'm loving this thread, it's very reassuring!

[Tizzy]

DS2 started this about a month ago? It's very uncomfortable for me and he's not old enough to understand when I explain why he shouldn't. So I keep the opposite side covered up. It's worst at night when both sides are accessible, so I just keep the blanket covering one side and that seems to deter him. I'd like to nip this before it becomes a habit.

[HippieWannaBe]

Originally Posted by BarnMomma

HUGS!!!

We are so there too! DS is 19 mo and is a pain in the butt about it! He just will not stop! If it's not the other boob, it's the belly button digging, if I cover that up, he finds a skin tag that I have and tugs on that. It's infuriating.

And if I hold one hand, the other creeps up out of nowhere. He's like an octopus. Or one of those giant squids you see in old pirate movies with tentacles all over swallowing a ship. That's what it feels like to me.

Oh my goodness, this had my cracking up! My son digs in my belly button too and has almost pulled off my mole. He is such a little picker/pocker it's not even funny.

[PassionateWriter]

Originally Posted by eirual

Not to single you out, but because you said what I used to think.

I thought for sure by the 912th time of telling DS "just one" and "don't touch the other nipple!" he'd get the point (actually I'm sure he hears it about 20Xs/day and has been nursing now for 3.5yrs). But still at 3.5, he just cannot RESIST which makes me think it runs deeper than logic and is truly beyond their control.

yeh, me too....he's a little over 3.

[hugAmommy]

I weaned my son 6 months ago, hes 24mo now. I am only in this forum because I had a question, wich was, Why does he still want to play with the boob? It never ends. I am wondering if he will want to play with it forever. I hate it too, so bothersome. He is so sneaky about it. The octopus comment had me hysterical!!!

[BunniMummi]

Originally Posted by JenLiz

we do most of our nursing in bed now (nap time and night time) and when I have had enough of the twiddling i ask her if she wants "the other milk" (knowing she'll say yes) and I switch to where I'm side lying still, but the bottom boob she WAS nursing from is now against the mattress and i lean in toward her so now she's nursing from the top boob. make sense? then, she has nothing to twiddle and helps her fall asleep.

I do this with DS2 sometimes but he looses track of which side the other breast is on and ends up working himself into a frantic fit when he slides his hand to where he thinks it should be and only finds my armpit.

[MommytoTwo]

At this point, if his vocabulary is that good, then he's old enough to learn to respect other people's boundaries. If you were to allow it, even though it made you feel weird, you would start to have resentments towards his breastfeeding and that wouldn't be good for either of you.

ditto. I have never even once let DS do it, though he has tried a few times but I just cant do it. Honestly it would be the end of nursing *for me* ... thats how much I cant take that.

[Bekka]

Originally Posted by MommytoTwo

ditto. I have never even once let DS do it, though he has tried a few times but I just cant do it. Honestly it would be the end of nursing *for me* ... thats how much I cant take that.

Same. Can NOT do that. Absolutely no way at all. Kids are put down who bother over there. PG with #5. No twiddlers. Hair, OTOH, which also drives me nuts ...

[cheygirl]

Originally Posted by JenLiz

I switch to where I'm side lying still, but the bottom boob she WAS nursing from is now against the mattress and i lean in toward her so now she's nursing from the top boob. make sense? then, she has nothing to twiddle and helps her fall asleep.

This used to work for us but then dd figured out what was going on. Now she just scooches her hand along the sheets under me 'til she locates the hidden nipple on the bottom boob.

About a year ago I decided I had to put a stop to the twiddling. It was getting so unpleasant that the sensation was actually just beginning to trigger what felt like nausea. DD fought it like crazy - she'd try to pry my hand off, she pop off and cry, and then insist on latching onto that side (as if to say, 'fine, i can't twiddle the nipple but you can't stop me from nursing it!'). After of a year of this, (she's now 2.5 yo) she's finally accepted that she's not entitled to twiddle, but she still tries to do it, and she's awfully persistent. It especially annoying at night, when I have to keep my hand on my nipple while sleeping, and I wake to the sensation of her hand circling my hand, looking for an opening (somewhat like a hyena), trying to slide her fingers under my fingers. I just take her hand and place it elsewhere, and after doing this about 10 times (and sometimes threatening to end the nursing session), she'll get the message. It really test my patience. Once, I stuck my finger in her nose, and said, "see, you don't like that do you? Well, that's what it feels like to mommy when you play with my nipple; it feels yukky." She seems to understand that, and in every other way, she is a pretty considerate kid (well, for a 2.5 yo), but she still keeps doing it - so I guess it really is a deep compulsion, and must feel impossible to stop. I've kind of accepted that she'll probably never stop til she weans.

[AquariusHome]

Oh Wow! I am so happy to see this thread. I'm going insane. My DS (still nursing at 4 1/2) has been a twiddler since toddlerhood. I have been doing all the same tricks trying to get him to stop for 3 years with no luck. Even worse, he reaches his hand down my shirt trying to get to my nipple every time he's close to me (like when I'm bending over him to strap him in the car, or helping him get dressed). I'm constantly saying "leave my dees (his word) alone please."

Now DD (16 months) has become equally obsessed. Most of the time I am holding her I'm fighting off her advances.

I really don't know what to do because nothing seems to work. Its really, like eirual said, deeper than logic. DS is a very sensitive, empathetic child. He generally respects others boundaries. But this he just can't help himself no matter how many times we discuss it. I've been tempted to wean him just for this reason but I know it wouldn't likely solve the issue anyway.

[Paeta16]

I simply cannot tell you how much I needed to read this post right now! It helps just to know I am not a horrible mother for feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin when DD twiddles right now - I am PMSing!

It drives me insane...literally.

I have zero advice but I am SO happy to know I am not alone.

[elizaMM]

crazy idea from a mama who doesn't know much: maybe he could learn to twiddle his OWN boob? You could chat about it ahead of time, he could practice when he is not nursing. You could talk about how some day when he's older he won't have your boom to twiddle... If he needs the let down maybe you could do a little stimulation yourself and little by little...

Again, crazy idea...

[cherimoya]

Oh WOW, this is so what's going on in my life the past 3 months! About a month ago I made dd STOP and she wailed, screamed, made an absolute fuss for many days. I couldn't handle it. I don't have the will-power, it felt like CIO torture dealing with the crying, she looked and sounded so upset and sad. Finally, I let her go back to her patting, gently twiddling. It's annoying sometimes, that's when I try to switch boobs or end it.

I think the biggest problem is that the majority of her nursings (and there are a LOT) occur laying down in bed, so it's easier for her (i think) to get to the other boob. I enjoy my "rest time" laying down to nurse, so I don't intend to nurse her in a chair instead. Oh well.

This thread has been great because it tells me that there must be something "normal" here for it to not be just my dd. But this thread is a bit scary too (lol) 'cause I was hoping this *phase* would end soon, but it sounds like some of you have older toddlers still doing this!