Do you have friends that do circ?

[Shilohsmom]

My really good friend JUST called me about 10 minutes ago from the ped's office. She said, "well, my son is getting his weenie whacked right now, I had to leave...couldn't take the screaming" To which I said, "oh, I'm so sorry. That poor child. Nurse him and give him a big hug from me"

I SERIOUSLY had to stifle back the vomit and the anger. She circ'ed both her boys (4yo twins) and we had talked about the reasons why we didn't circ our DS, she even asked me to send her all the information against circing.

I just feel so heartbroken for that baby. My milk let down and I seriously had to choke back the tears. Why do I have to care so much? Ugh.

How do you deal with this situation if you have friends that do circ? I know she could tell from my tone how upset I was. She said to me (in a really annoyed voice) "circumcision is a really personal choice and I'm sorry we disagree, but it was our choice to make." I replied to her..."you're right. Circumcision is an incredibly personal choice and I totally agree with you on that. However, it should be the choice of the owner of the penis whether or not to have the foreskin removed. You have just forever taken that choice away from your poor, defenseless son." Good grief I was mad.

Just needed for vent, sorry

[joeys_mom]

I have a good friend who has circ'd both her boys. She did it for religous resaons but I still find it hard to accept. I think I would have fought harder for that one but I still love and support her. I know it would be hard to have a dh and il's that insist on the circ.

[zinemama]

Yes, I do. Unlike many in this forum, I would never consider ending a long-standing, close friendship over circumcision.

[Mary-Beth]

I do have friends and family who choose to circ.
It is very difficult for me if they were given the info and still choose RIC.

I am disturbed by your friends wording-- you were too kind to her, imo.
I don't know what I would have said but she shouldn't have had the option to walk out of the room since her son wasn't given the option to escape either.

[Shilohsmom]

Originally Posted by zinemama

Yes, I do. Unlike many in this forum, I would never consider ending a long-standing, close friendship over circumcision.

I would never end a friendship with her....but its just hard to have her talk so non-chalantly about it when she KNOWS how against RIC I am. Its like, don't smear it in my face, you know?

[Picturesque]

It sounds like she was deliberately smearing it in your face. I don't know if I could be friends with someone like that. I mean, of all people, why would she call you at that particular moment in time??

[alegna]

I have friends who have circed. I do not have friends who have circed while friends with me. I couldn't take it.

I could no more remain friends with someone who chose that than someone who chose to burn their child repeatedly with cigarettes.

-Angela

[Bm31]

I do have some, but I don't pull any punches in letting them know how I feel. However, I no longer give baby gifts to those that circ or that I know would circ (if they are having a girl). Usually I give a cash gift of $50-100 but sorry, if you can afford a cosmetic genital mutilation on a defenseless child you don't need my money.

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by zinemama

Yes, I do. Unlike many in this forum, I would never consider ending a long-standing, close friendship over circumcision.

same here.

[savvybabygrace]

If I had a friend - best friend, close friend, whatever - who called me saying THAT, I would have probably just hung up on her. You were too nice, imo.

However, I do have a LOT of friends who circ. All but one, actually. It pisses me off, breaks my heart, and makes me really uncomfortable. They all know how I feel about it.

[Belle]

Originally Posted by Shilohsmom

My really good friend JUST called me about 10 minutes ago from the ped's office. She said, "well, my son is getting his weenie whacked right now, I had to leave...couldn't take the screaming"...
"circumcision is a really personal choice and I'm sorry we disagree, but it was our choice to make."

She was going out of her way to upset you. If she had just done it and let it pass I could remain friends with such a person, but to call you when it was happening and say that she couldn't handle the screaming is very upsetting. That is wrong on so many levels.

I feel ill myself.

[Cheshire]

I have friends who circ'd their sons. They know how we feel and we do not discuss it.

If, especially after sending info about it to a friend, she went out of her way to call me from the doc's office to tell me about it I don't think I could maintain that friendship. She has some deep rooted issue going on to call you, rub it in your face when she knows how you feel about it and then have the audacity get upset when you get upset about it.

I'd rethink that friendship - what other types of things does she do like this to you? I bet this isn't the first time.

[Night_Nurse]

Originally Posted by Shilohsmom

... She said to me (in a really annoyed voice) "circumcision is a really personal choice and I'm sorry we disagree, but it was our choice to make."

She should go back to the room where her son is screaming too much for her to take and tell that to him.

I think your response to her was far nicer than she deserved. Personally, I think she felt bad about her "personal choice" she was making and was wanting someone to give her some reassurance. But I'm not sure why she decided to call you for that reassurance. Maybe she should have called the baby's daddy for that.

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by alegna

I have friends who have circed. I do not have friends who have circed while friends with me. I couldn't take it.

I could no more remain friends with someone who chose that than someone who chose to burn their child repeatedly with cigarettes.

-Angela

Exactly! I could never remain friends with someone who knows the truth and chooses to mutilate anyway.

Would you remain friends with her if she did this to her daughter?

[RJones1204]

Sadly I am the only one I know that has an intact son. My brother and dad were intact and they are the only people I know of that are close to me.

[Crunchy Frog]

If it's such a personal choice, then why does she feel the need to share the gruesome details with you? : I would ask her that next time she brings it up.

Knowing the way you felt, it seems like it was really inappropriate for her to call you while it was being done and to describe the screaming to you. How did she think you were going to react?

[Sharlla]

I have one friend that did hers and if she had another boy she will not do it. Some people do make choices out of ignorance. I would have a hard time being friends with someone that was educated on it and still chose to do it. Most of the mamas I know have intact sons. There is so much information about it these days and I live in a state where medicaid does not cover it.

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

Exactly! I could never remain friends with someone who knows the truth and chooses to mutilate anyway.

Would you remain friends with her if she did this to her daughter?

:

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

So sorry about the little guy I would have told her to keep that stuff to herself and told her how cruel it was for her to talk to you about it after knowing how you feel :

I do NOT have friends who circ and will not have them.

[siriusrising]

I don't have any friends who DON'T circ. In fact, when I was still pregnant, a friend whom had just had her own baby boy was giving me advice. She said "When you get him circumcised, blah blah blah to care for the penis", said in an assumption that there was no other choice BUT to get him circumcised. It was as though there's no real thought to it.. and despite your friend paying you lipservice to your choices, it sounds like she wants to just go with the majority just for the sake of it anyway. When I commented to my friend after her advice, "Oh, we're not circumcising. We don't believe in doing that." She was just kind of wide-eyed, and said "Oh..", as though I suddenly grew two heads.

I do, however, have a fellow AP-like friend (breastfeeds, cloth diapers, no vax, the works!), and she has a little girl. She told me that if she ever had a boy, she wouldn't circumcise him. She's the one who got me into cloth diapering. You have no idea how much flack she got at work at first for cloth diapering, but then TWO co-workers decided to do the same for their babies! I hope not circumcising my boy has the same sort of influence, and others might come around and see how unnecessary it is.

It sounds like your friend isn't someone who would come around anytime soon.. she's just full of talk. I'd continue to explain my beliefs, but it's probably worth more to spend your energy talking to other soon-to-be moms about it instead.