Do you have friends that do circ? - Page 3

[nikkiethridge]

Sigh. I'm so sorry mama. I couldn't read this without giving you hug.

I mean, if you are circ'ing our of pure ignorance...ok. But to be extremely pro-circ? I could never be friends with someone like that. To me it's just child abuse on the grandest scale.

[learnlovebe]

Okay, new to this forum, but not new to the idea of not circ-ing.

Instead of thinking that she called you to "rub it in" that she was having her son circ'd. I'm thinking that she called you because she was probably having issues with it, and called you for support- not for support in her decision, but support because she was a friend going through a tough moment.

Granted, the moment was of her choosing, but there may be more to the story than we know. Could it be that her dh put his foot down on this topic? I know MANY people whose husbands were the ones to make the decisions on this topic. The whole "It was good enough for me, it's good enough for him" arguement- which I don't understand, the concept of fathers and sons needing "matching" penises- but that's a totally different thread.

Is she a strong woman? Not all women are strong enough to stand up to society's pressure to have your child circ'd. Not all women are strong enough to stand up to their husbands on this topic either. (Granted, that doesn't make it okay, but may require a little more compassion, and a different way of handling it)

It's so easy for us to stand there and point fingers because it's not what we'd do, and draw that line in the sand- you're either with me or against me. But that's not how we're going to get through to them. We're going to get through with compassion and with education, with support and guidance.

And I totally can't speak for you friend, but is it possible that while she was there, she was probably very conflicted given the knowledge you shared with her. Maybe she felt like she didn't have another choice. Maybe she felt like it was too late to change her mind, but couldn't take seeing her son hurt and needed to step out? Granted, her choice of words leaves even me a bit dumbfounded, but I'm know I'm not always as eloquent as I should be when I'm stressed out.

Let me make clear I'm not condoning your friend's actions- they are definitely NOT what I'd do. But I don't think she should be exiled from the motherhood either.

[treemom2]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

Exactly! I could never remain friends with someone who knows the truth and chooses to mutilate anyway.

Would you remain friends with her if she did this to her daughter?

I have family members who have circ'd out of shear ignorance. I have friends who circ'd before they knew any different. I absolutely could not be friends with someone who circ'd after getting all the information. I would not be friends with a child abuser, and I definitely consider genital mutilation abuse.

The fact that she called you while it was happening shows me that she has no respect for your beliefs. I could not be friends with someone like that.

[latinalonestar]

I'm jumping in a little late. Sorry I have been out of town.

I have friends that circed in the past but they all know how I feel. If they are my friend they see me post new links and info on my facebook on a daily basis about circ. I also have photo albums and notes about circ. If any of my friends have a boy they get a discussion and emails from me. Here is where I draw a line- If they ignore my info and still circ I will seriously weigh our friendship seriously. I'm currently undergoing this with one of my good friends and I have yet to decide whether I can remain friends with her. The answer is not easy. She is still only 20 weeks so I have some time to work on her.

In your case, I think your friend was either rubbing it in your face or she was deeply regretting her decision. The fact that she had the audacity to call you of all people should tell you all you need to know about her respect, or lack thereof, for you. Should you be friends with someone who shows such disrespect toward you? That is a question for you to answer.

I think your response about it being HIS personal choice was perfect!

Bless that poor little angel... :_(

[Photochef]

Originally Posted by alegna

I have friends who have circed. I do not have friends who have circed while friends with me. I couldn't take it.

I could no more remain friends with someone who chose that than someone who chose to burn their child repeatedly with cigarettes.

-Angela

Same here.

I had a friend who did it to her baby, and she said it was because her brother was not circ'd and he got an infection and had to have it done at 4yrs old. She wanted to spare her son the same trauma. I just couldn't stay close to her after that, I couldn't get past it.

I feel shallow, in a way. But it bothers me that much.

[tammyswanson]

I feel for you..and her poor boys too! I could never let myself be so detached from my baby's pain. Those poor babies.... I can't believe doctors can do that to babies. :

Good for you for telling her though, at least you did that.

Actually my 'best friend' had her preemie circumcised. I don't talk to her much anymore, and I don't feel like I want to. Because she did that to her baby even though I sent her links to videos got her a book and even showed her that DS is perfectly 'normal' without being mutilated. And, she did it anyway. This caused me to re-examine my 'friendship' with her, and I decided that it wasn't that great of a friendship anyway.

The thing where people are wondering if she was regretting her decision when she called you. If she did regret it, she sure has a funny way of showing it, calling you up and saying it's a personal choice. Maybe she does regret it, but talk about bad timing! Is she an aggressive person? I don't know..it sounds like she is just throwing it in your face. Maybe deep deep down she knows she made a HUGE mistake and can't admit it, to herself OR you.

I just can't imagine leaving a baby screaming like that! Personally, I could not be friends with someone who would be like that, but that is me.

Circumcision is the most heinous form of legalized child abuse.