Ummmmm.... Was this bad?

[Belia]

DS had his 6 month WBV last week. While there I asked our dr to look at his penis to make sure everything was ok- I'm not experienced w/ un-circ'd penises and sometimes it looks puffy or gets red.

BTW, I our doc- she answered all of our questions right about the care of un-circ'd penises when we first met her.

Anyway, she said everything looked fine, then she starts retracting his foreskin! I FREAKED OUT, because even though I hardly ever visit CAC, the one thing I remembered was NEVER LET ANYONE RETRACT THE FORESKIN. I was like, WAIT, STOP, you aren't supposed to be doing that, are you?

She said it was fine, she wasn't FORCIBLY retracting anything- she was just checking to see if the foreskin could move on its own and it could. DS was fine during this whole thing- was happy and cooing, so I know he wasn't in pain. She never would have done any of that if I hadn't asked her to in the first place.

So was this OK? If not, do I need to do anything to "fix" DS's penis?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It wasnt OK no. She shouldnt have manipulated the foreskin at all. From your description she didnt hurt him but it was still not needed and could have caused problems. Micro tears for one that can let in bacteria.

I wouldnt worry about it though but from now on dont let her touch it all all. What she did is retraction. Not as bad as it could have been but still retraction.

[robertandenith]

omg NO! not okay, why would she want to know that? seriously, the only thing she will ask you if he is peeing okay, that's all she needs to know. ANY manipulation of the foreskin is not supposed to be done by anyone except the owner of the penis.

You can download this brochure for your personal use:
http://www.asnatureintended.info/upl...74/babyboy.pdf

[perspective]

There is no reason for her to see if he can retract. There is no childhood age where not being able to retract becomes a problem, there are many guys in their late teens or even 20's cannot fully retract. Its a natural process goes at different speeds for different guys.


The ONLY thing that can happen by her retracting, is the possibility of damage. And there is no way for her to know she has retracted too much until the boy reacts, and by then the damage is already done. So DO NOT let her do it again.

[beru]

I don't think it was harmful if she didn't force or put strain on the opening of foreskin. I have done this myself in the bath because I wanted to see if my son's foreskin was retractable when a huge amount of smegma came out all at once. And also during potty learning, I wanted to see if it would help him pee without dribbling when standing up (His foreskin is very long and I showed him that if he "pulled it out of the way" the pee would dribble down it). I did not consider it retracting. I was just pushing the loose skin around. I know people here won't agree with me. But I think this attitude it too extreme and paranoid. "Don't retract the foreskin" has become "don't touch it at all" as if it is a ticking bomb.

You have the choice, however, to be conservative about this and ask her never to touch it if it makes you more comfortable. You may fear that she will go too far. However, she sounds like a great doctor and I wouldn't demonize her for her viewpoint which I , for one, think is reasonable.

[Belia]

Thanks, mamas.... I truly don't think any damage was done, and I do love this doc. Not only because she was so gentle about the whole thing and stopped immediately when I said something, but she was also so respectful when I pretty much completely freaked out in the moment!!! I think a lot of docs would have been offended by my reaction. :

But now I know that it's not necessary and I'll be much more conservative in the future. Like I said, she wouldn't have been messing around down there at all if I hadn't specifically asked her to check things out. Our definitions of checking things out were different... that's all.

Should I be embarrassed that I know so little about penises?!?!?!?!

[perspective]

Originally Posted by Belia

Should I be embarrassed that I know so little about penises?!?!?!?!

No, its totally fine. Seeing as you were not born with a penis, and have not spent every day of your life dealing with one. So its completely understandable, especially considering so many doctors are in the dark themselves.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by beru

I don't think it was harmful if she didn't force or put strain on the opening of foreskin. I have done this myself in the bath because I wanted to see if my son's foreskin was retractable when a huge amount of smegma came out all at once. And also during potty learning, I wanted to see if it would help him pee without dribbling when standing up (His foreskin is very long and I showed him that if he "pulled it out of the way" the pee would dribble down it). I did not consider it retracting. I was just pushing the loose skin around. I know people here won't agree with me. But I think this attitude it too extreme and paranoid. "Don't retract the foreskin" has become "don't touch it at all" as if it is a ticking bomb.

You have the choice, however, to be conservative about this and ask her never to touch it if it makes you more comfortable. You may fear that she will go too far. However, she sounds like a great doctor and I wouldn't demonize her for her viewpoint which I , for one, think is reasonable.

The reason we are so strongly opinioned on it is because a simple manipulation can and does in some cases cause damage so why risk it?

There is no reason to do it at all. It isnt important for anyone to know if the child is retractable I wouldnt dream of checking ds. It just isnt a good idea.

My #1 reason for advising against it comes from the fact that many Dr's will check at X age and if it isnt retractable they immediatly want to set the boy up with a urologist for circ. So if the Dr. never touches the foreskin they can never recommend that.

I know of way to many boys online that Dr's have done this to and if not for the mom's researching it the boy would now be circed and I have no doubt that many more where circed because the parents just took the Dr's word for it.

Again why risk it when things can go bad in a heartbeat?

[FullMetalMom]

Argh, why do doctors like to play with little boys penises so much? I'll never understand it!

[Fi.]

No, there's no medical reason for her to need to see his glans anymore than she needs to spread the lips of the vagina and put a finger in to stretch it out so she can see inside.

[because]

Originally Posted by beru

I don't think it was harmful if she didn't force or put strain on the opening of foreskin. I have done this myself in the bath because I wanted to see if my son's foreskin was retractable when a huge amount of smegma came out all at once. And also during potty learning, I wanted to see if it would help him pee without dribbling when standing up (His foreskin is very long and I showed him that if he "pulled it out of the way" the pee would dribble down it). I did not consider it retracting. I was just pushing the loose skin around. I know people here won't agree with me. But I think this attitude it too extreme and paranoid. "Don't retract the foreskin" has become "don't touch it at all" as if it is a ticking bomb.

You have the choice, however, to be conservative about this and ask her never to touch it if it makes you more comfortable. You may fear that she will go too far. However, she sounds like a great doctor and I wouldn't demonize her for her viewpoint which I , for one, think is reasonable.

Good post. DS is 3 and is *rough* on his foreskin; makes me cringe. All this talk like foreskin is as fragile as wet tissue paper I think can be damaging in the long run. How are our little boys supposed to learn about washing themselves if we freak about ever even moving the loose skin/overhang around (which is way different than forcibly retracting!)?

Originally Posted by Fi.

No, there's no medical reason for her to need to see his glans anymore than she needs to spread the lips of the vagina and put a finger in to stretch it out so she can see inside.

The OP didn't say anything about stretching or putting fingers in or even seeing his glans... this response seems a little extreme, IMO.

[x.xiv.mmvii]

We go to a doctor who was relieved that we chose not to circ. At WBV, she examined the penis and pulled the top down a little just for a second. I then asked her about retracting the foreskin, and she said that isn't to be done until he's older, like 3 or 4. So what was she doing then?? Why would she advocate no pulling the foreskin back only to do it herself. I wasn't concerned, she's the doctor not me.

I'll have to ask her next time.

[latinalonestar]

No it is not okay. Even minor manipulation is not okay b/c it can start the ball rolling for premature separation, cause minor tearing, and/or introduce infection. Please tell her to never manipulate your son's penis in the future. Print this for her:
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...kinleaflet.pdf

Just leave it alone. There is nothing you need to do at this point. Redness at the tip is pretty normal. Yeast can happen during the diaper wearing years, but it is very obvious. Bacterial infections are rare and are also VERY obvious. Here is a good thread to read for the future:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=764732

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

x.xiv.mmvii The problem is they dont understand that retraction is retraction no matter how much the skin goes back.

She is thinking as long as she dosnt cause him to cry it is OK but it is NOT ok nor is it in any way needed. Tell her hands off from now on.

Also your dr isnt right on the 3-4 yo for retraction either. It can take until adulthood with avg. being around 10.5yo.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=764732

[latinalonestar]

Originally Posted by x.xiv.mmvii

We go to a doctor who was relieved that we chose not to circ. At WBV, she examined the penis and pulled the top down a little just for a second. I then asked her about retracting the foreskin, and she said that isn't to be done until he's older, like 3 or 4. So what was she doing then?? Why would she advocate no pulling the foreskin back only to do it herself. I wasn't concerned, she's the doctor not me.

I'll have to ask her next time.

US doctors are not taught about the development of the intact boy. You can contact DOC for more information about the care and handling of the intact boy. My son suffered greatly from a doctor pulling back slightly. No manipulation is the correct care. Only the boy himself should handle/manipulate his foreskin.
www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org