This was such a hard concept for me. I grew up being told that men were worthless and horrible and selfish. I grew up being told that a woman can do anything a man can do and more. My mother had been divorced twice, to drug addicted alcoholic men who beat her. She raised us on her own.
I saw all that she could do but she was never happy. She has recently been giving up on those ideas. She loves my husband and sees how well he treats my family. She loves my sons, and when she lets things slip "We dont need any stupid men AROUND HERE" is her battle call when she takes a lid off a jar or something psychically hard she accomplishes, and I explain that it's a hurtful thing for them to hear, she realizes that no, all men are stupid and worthless.
She called me crying recently telling me she wanted to be cherished and adored by a man, and taken care of. She was tired and lonely. These are biblical things. God created woman to be with man. To love each other, for him to cherish her, and to love her as much as God loves the church.
Surely women can do many many things, but just because they can do it all doesn't mean they're necessarily HAPPY doing it. Does that make sense?
I'm better at taking care of our kids, I'm better at keeping a house calm and neat and flowing well, I'm better at being nurturing and teaching. He's better at going to work every day and bringing home money
He's better at disciplining and making hard choices for our family. I know some couples where all this is reversed, and it works great for them. It's fantastic they found each other to compliment so well.
I think its hard when you (not you but "you") think you have to be able to do everything a woman is "supposed" to do, and everything a man does, all equally well and while being happy. It's totally okay to realize men and women excel at certain things and together are totally awesome.
The way submission works here is we work together on everything. If we come to an impasse and can't make a compromise (pretty rare) I have to fall back to what he says. We did this before I came to Christianity too, as it just makes sense to me. Not everyone can get their way all the time. Right now it's killing me though because I really (really really) want a dog. He says no. All my Christian friends are telling me to just go get one. But that's not how our marriage works. I respect his reasoning for not wanting one but mine more
Right now I'm hoping we'll compromise on that soon.
Sorry this was so long and spacey, I'm soooo tired right now. I hope it made sense