Cyberbullying, racist, homophobic, complicated-help!

[mamahart]

I will attempt to make a long story short. My 12 year old had a myspace account- with my permission about lying about her age, in order to keep in touch with close friends. Thats sort of the start. She barely logs in to it and I have the password etc etc.
So. I live in a very rural, ranching community of about 200 people where there is definitely some ignorance, etc. etc. Not to mention issues with a decent education.
So. My 12 yr old daughter is now spending 6 months in Tunis, Tunisia in North Africa with my parents and going to school there where they teach. My sweet lil girl has a very nice "boyfriend" and it is amazingly innocent and fun and sweet. He is African, I think Gambian, but not sure.
Well, just yesterday some of the girls from here, my little town, wrote an absolutely horrific little comment on my DD's myspace.
It was seriously racist, then switched to some hardcore homophobic language. Very VERY sexual and a complete character attack based loosely on the fact she has a black boyfriend.
The girls who posted this very graphic and cruel comment are about 10 and 11.
My daughter is fine. She dealt with it in a very mature way. We submitted a report and asked that her myspace be shut down- unfortunately she deleted the comment after she cut and pasted it to me to read. She was just so angry and confused.
So. I don't know what to do. I have had numerous run-ins with the family of the girl who used outrageously specific graphic sexual language. I cannot approach mom or dad without seriously risking getting physically attacked.
This is a 5th grader. She has always been troubled, aggressive and her parents are very similar.
Any ideas? I am considering calling family services.
So fire away with any ideas or thoughts you may have
and gosh sorry this was so long thank you for reading.

[lanamommyphd07]

Big praises for your dd and how she handled it! Unfortunately the stuff they spew on m.s. is about the same as the lunchtime craziness, hallway chatter, etc. that you get to look forward to in school for the next few years. I suppose if I were in a small town and I "knew" the families involved, I'd send a "just thought you would like to know" note to the parents, and then drop it. If the children are breaking the rules by playing with m.s. or spewing nastiness, then they get what they get from parents. If the parent could care less, well then maybe your dd gets more slander. I'd check with dd before sending the note, however.

[mamahart]

The "stuff" that was spewed was really nasty, very racist...it was so bad I felt deep concern for the child who could write or even think such things. Plus the sexual content was really bizarre, not your run of the mill sex talk. I am hoping my DD can attend school here next year...
At this point the rampant racism, homophobia and just plain ignorance is a bit frightening. But I do love my small town life in so many ways....
I just feel like this needs to be addressed in some way.

[hermionesmum]

Nasty stuff! Do you have community Police you could approach about this? If your daughter has access to school computers where she is could she/your parents seek action from their end, rather than you rocking the boat in your community? My space may have a record of the comments too so they may be able to do something.

Good luck

[nextcommercial]

I would ignore it. It's not a reflection of you or your daughter.

In fifth grade, my dd had a girl in her class that was a lot like you describe this girl. (I'll call her Kate) Kate wasn't my dd's friend, but my dd had to endure her anyway.

Kate had a child in 8th grade. The baby was removed from her within a year, and less than a year later Kate was in a juvinal detention center. Her parents never cared. They were the type that you didn't bother confronting. Because they didn't care. They never cared when the school called, so there is no reason to keep trying.

This girl is who she is, and if she wants to change, she will make the choice for herself when she's older. She's still very young. I hope for her sake she makes different choices for herslef as she matures.

[mtiger]

Your local school district likely has guidelines that they expect the kids to follow in school and out regarding their internet activities. You may want to contact them.

[angelpie545]

That is horrific. I'm not sure what you can do about it this time since the comment was deleted, but what those girls did is a crime and can be prosecuted. Next time I would contact police. If the parents threaten you, document it, and get a restraining order.

[mamahart]

well I dealt with this the best I could... contacted parents of both of the girls involved- the one let her friend write the disgusting post in exchange for a bag of skittles. Reported it to myspace security in addition to closing my daughters account.
I have also let every parent in town know what sort of slop these young kids are writing. I decided that in a town of 200 we should all sorta know what our kids are doing online.
Anyway. I am still in a state of shock that parents allow their children such unregulated internet access. Most parents I spoke with didnt really moniter internet activity at all.
When I get a chance I am going to let the sheriff/bishop know about it. I figure his dual role as the law and the churchman will help get the message out.
Thank you for those of you who responded. It was pretty upsetting for me.