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Don't want to be a step parent! - Page 2

post #21 of 22
Ditto the advice about collecting half the assests, moving out, and filing for support.

Don't expect him to pay, though. Those assests you (hopefully) collected may well be the only $ you ever see based on what he did to his older children.

You can only judge a man by his actions.

And I also agree about counseling! Especially before you begin any other long-term relationships. I would suggest to stay far, far away from any man who has children until you can deal with your resentment and anger.
post #22 of 22
Originally Posted by confustication View Post
All of this.

I'd file for CS immediately. I'd pull half of all the funds, immediately. I'd be out the door, immediately.

Any man who is ok with not seeing his kids for that long a time is not a man who can be expected to act responsibly to you or towards your mutual child.


* I've been where you are. I kept waiting for him to keep his promises. He never did.

He now has a 7 year old he hasn't seen since she was barely 3, and he elected not to pay any child support until I pressed the issue, not because I wanted to, but because my child deserves for me to set aside my pride to be her advocate.

I'm now very happily married to a great guy who is excited to share in being a family, and having a life of mutual respect and admiration. My daughter has 'lost' her bio dad, and while I can never fix that, she has a stable, warm, loving, respectful home that she never would have known had I not left.
Yes, to all of this.

Similar situation here, expect my xhusband already had ONE child he never saw, rarely paid for (when I found out about him, *I* made sure support was paid) and eventually xh signed over parental rights and allowed him to be adopted.

Fast forward and xh has not seen ds in 4+ years & signed over his parental rights so dh could adopt. The adoption will be final tomorrow. Ds does not have a bio Dad, but he does for sure have a wonderful Daddy. One who has loved him for over 4 years, supported and cared for him. Been there, and will always be there. The kind of parent his bio-Dad just isn't capable of being. I am so thankful that I left when I did, that I have both myself and ds a shot at happiness, and a real loving family.

Xh is getting remarried in a few months. He's already had two children that he abandoned and allowed to be adopted by other men .. I can only hope he does not do that to her. But, the best predictor of future actions is the past .. and his track record sucks.

I'd file for child support OP, and get the hell out. Fast.
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