I just got home from the hospital and havne't had time to catch up and read all the posts yet. Congrats to all the mama's who had their babies in the last 4 days!!!!
Samuel Augustine was born Friday at 6pm via c-section. Everything went wrong, but I am satisfied knowing that I tried like hell and did everything I could. I have a huge fear of childbirth now, but I will deal with that in time. For now, I am so in love with my son
He nurses like a champ and my heart melts when he looks at me with his giant eyes.
He was 9 lbs 14 ozs (HUGE for my little frame), almost 22 in long.
Birth Story
I am exhausted and cranky due to little sleep and a rough first day back home. My toddler isn’t taking to the new baby very well and has spent most of the day exploding in screams and bitter tears. However, I want to get this down before I forget the details so I am going to go ahead and write. I hope it doesn’t sound too flat.
Because I was 10 days past my due date, my doctor wanted to induce me. We showed up at the hospital at 8pm Thursday night to have cervidil (a cervix-ripening drug) inserted with the hopes that it would thin my cervix out by the morning. Oddly enough, I began to have contractions on my own as soon as we got registered and settled into our room. The nurse hooked me up to the fetal monitor and then left for an hour before coming back to give me the meds. The contractions were irregular, but seemed to range between 3 and 9 minutes apart. They were very uncomfortable but totally natural.
I let Josh sleep while I labored on my own. There was no way I could sleep because I couldn’t get comfortable and I was way too excited. I was hoping that I would be able to avoid the Pitocin since I was doing things on my own.
3am- I woke up Josh to help me with the contractions
4am- The cervidil was removed and I refused to have a vaginal exam.
4:30am- Our doula showed up to help.
7am- My doctor came and did a vaginal exam. I had made no progress at all despite having been laboring for 11 hours.
We had to decide if we were going to go ahead with the plans to use Pitocin, or if we wanted to go home and wait awhile. Going home made no sense since I would have no way of knowing when to return to the hospital. We live an hour away and I was worried that if we went home we would end up having the baby on the highway or something. Also, the thought of laboring for an hour car ride home and an hour car ride back did not appeal to me.
8am- I was started on a low dose of Pitocin. I had to be hooked up to an IV (of course) and to the fetal monitors, but I tried to move around as much as I could to deal with pain. My doula was wonderful and so was Josh (I had a really good nurse too).
12pm- I couldn’t stand the Pitocin contractions anymore. I had the nurse check me to see if I was close… and I had only dilated from a 2 to a 4.
12:30pm- I got an epidural.
1:30pm- I woke up from a short nap and felt an intense achiness on one side of my crotch and in my rectum. Something wasn’t right… my previous epidural hadn’t felt like that.
For the next two hours the achiness became pain and the pain got pretty bad. I felt like the baby was going to burst out of my butt and it was awful. I had to keep telling myself that my butt was not going to turn inside out. In addition to that, I started to feel cramps in my stomach.
3:30pm- I started pushing. I had a lot of pain in my stomach and rectum, but, even worse, I was having trouble pushing because my ribs seemed to be in the way.
4:30pm- The epidural dosage was increased to full force. The pain went away… but so did all the feeling in my body from my chest down… I couldn’t feel myself pushing.
5pm- I had a full-blown panic attack like I have never had before. For some reason, the fact that I couldn’t feel my legs or move my body really freaked me out. I thought I was dying. I started shaking uncontrollably, throwing up, and hyperventilating. I remember screaming that I was dying and repeating “Oh my G--! I can’t feel my legs!” I tried thrashing around and slapping myself to concentrate on what I could feel, but it didn’t work. I finally demanded to be knocked out and cut open.
The doctor came and said he wouldn’t knock me out, but would give me a sedative to keep me from freaking out on the table. He also said that if I wanted to keep trying to push, I could, but he didn’t recommend it. After pushing for 2 and ½ hours I had made very little progress- the baby was still kind of high up in the birth canal for some reason.
6pm- Samuel Augustine was “born” via c-section. He had been posterior (hence the rectal pain) and was much larger than anyone thought – almost 10 pounds!
I don’t remember a whole lot from the c-section, just a few things here and there- the warm blankets they put on me (felt awesome), Josh yelling “It’s a boy!,” the sound of the baby crying (the high point of the experience), Josh telling me he was beautiful, the doctor saying that he had peed all over him, and the pain of the placenta being removed (as well as the feeling of being stapled shut).
C-sections are not fun and do not feel good. I don’t know how the women on TLC’s Baby Story smile through the whole thing… maybe theirs was just better or something.
They gave me a lot of drugs and I felt “good”. When I came to (which wasn’t long after the surgery), I was very sleepy but seemed be in decent control of my mind. The baby was handed to me and I fell in love with him right away. The nurse helped me breastfeed him and I was so proud of how he latched on right away. I just kept looking at his little face and thinking that he was as cute as they come.
I am sad that I didn’t have the birthing experience I had planned for and wanted so badly, but I am still very satisfied with my effort. I don’t feel like a failure at all. I labored naturally for 11 hours, I managed to get through 4 hours on Pitocin without drugs, I dealt with the pain of a less-than-perfect epidural and posterior baby, and I pushed for 2 and ½ hours without having slept for something like 33 hours and without having eaten in 24 hours.
I admit, I am scared of having another baby. Knowing that my babies get so big, I won’t let them go past 40 weeks anymore. I will probably not ever have my natural labor, unless the baby comes early on it’s own. As afraid as I am of having to have repeat c-sections, I will probably induce shortly before 40 weeks and get an epidural. If the epidural doesn’t take right, I will just deal with the pain. If Samuel had been smaller I could have pushed him out, even with the epidural. In short, I will aim for birth like the one I had with my daughter. Don’t get me wrong- I still think that natural labor is the best and healthiest option for birth for most pregnancies.
Of course, as any mother will say, it was all worth it. Samuel is wonderful and I know I am blessed. God gave me the labor I had for a reason and I accept that. Perhaps He was trying to humble me (which He did), or maybe it was what was necessary for my prayers to be answered. Whatever the reason, I trust Him and I thank Him for leading me and Samuel through labor and delivery.
Samuel Augustine was born Friday at 6pm via c-section. Everything went wrong, but I am satisfied knowing that I tried like hell and did everything I could. I have a huge fear of childbirth now, but I will deal with that in time. For now, I am so in love with my son
He nurses like a champ and my heart melts when he looks at me with his giant eyes.He was 9 lbs 14 ozs (HUGE for my little frame), almost 22 in long.
Birth Story
I am exhausted and cranky due to little sleep and a rough first day back home. My toddler isn’t taking to the new baby very well and has spent most of the day exploding in screams and bitter tears. However, I want to get this down before I forget the details so I am going to go ahead and write. I hope it doesn’t sound too flat.
Because I was 10 days past my due date, my doctor wanted to induce me. We showed up at the hospital at 8pm Thursday night to have cervidil (a cervix-ripening drug) inserted with the hopes that it would thin my cervix out by the morning. Oddly enough, I began to have contractions on my own as soon as we got registered and settled into our room. The nurse hooked me up to the fetal monitor and then left for an hour before coming back to give me the meds. The contractions were irregular, but seemed to range between 3 and 9 minutes apart. They were very uncomfortable but totally natural.
I let Josh sleep while I labored on my own. There was no way I could sleep because I couldn’t get comfortable and I was way too excited. I was hoping that I would be able to avoid the Pitocin since I was doing things on my own.
3am- I woke up Josh to help me with the contractions
4am- The cervidil was removed and I refused to have a vaginal exam.
4:30am- Our doula showed up to help.
7am- My doctor came and did a vaginal exam. I had made no progress at all despite having been laboring for 11 hours.
We had to decide if we were going to go ahead with the plans to use Pitocin, or if we wanted to go home and wait awhile. Going home made no sense since I would have no way of knowing when to return to the hospital. We live an hour away and I was worried that if we went home we would end up having the baby on the highway or something. Also, the thought of laboring for an hour car ride home and an hour car ride back did not appeal to me.
8am- I was started on a low dose of Pitocin. I had to be hooked up to an IV (of course) and to the fetal monitors, but I tried to move around as much as I could to deal with pain. My doula was wonderful and so was Josh (I had a really good nurse too).
12pm- I couldn’t stand the Pitocin contractions anymore. I had the nurse check me to see if I was close… and I had only dilated from a 2 to a 4.
12:30pm- I got an epidural.
1:30pm- I woke up from a short nap and felt an intense achiness on one side of my crotch and in my rectum. Something wasn’t right… my previous epidural hadn’t felt like that.
For the next two hours the achiness became pain and the pain got pretty bad. I felt like the baby was going to burst out of my butt and it was awful. I had to keep telling myself that my butt was not going to turn inside out. In addition to that, I started to feel cramps in my stomach.
3:30pm- I started pushing. I had a lot of pain in my stomach and rectum, but, even worse, I was having trouble pushing because my ribs seemed to be in the way.
4:30pm- The epidural dosage was increased to full force. The pain went away… but so did all the feeling in my body from my chest down… I couldn’t feel myself pushing.
5pm- I had a full-blown panic attack like I have never had before. For some reason, the fact that I couldn’t feel my legs or move my body really freaked me out. I thought I was dying. I started shaking uncontrollably, throwing up, and hyperventilating. I remember screaming that I was dying and repeating “Oh my G--! I can’t feel my legs!” I tried thrashing around and slapping myself to concentrate on what I could feel, but it didn’t work. I finally demanded to be knocked out and cut open.
The doctor came and said he wouldn’t knock me out, but would give me a sedative to keep me from freaking out on the table. He also said that if I wanted to keep trying to push, I could, but he didn’t recommend it. After pushing for 2 and ½ hours I had made very little progress- the baby was still kind of high up in the birth canal for some reason.
6pm- Samuel Augustine was “born” via c-section. He had been posterior (hence the rectal pain) and was much larger than anyone thought – almost 10 pounds!
I don’t remember a whole lot from the c-section, just a few things here and there- the warm blankets they put on me (felt awesome), Josh yelling “It’s a boy!,” the sound of the baby crying (the high point of the experience), Josh telling me he was beautiful, the doctor saying that he had peed all over him, and the pain of the placenta being removed (as well as the feeling of being stapled shut).
C-sections are not fun and do not feel good. I don’t know how the women on TLC’s Baby Story smile through the whole thing… maybe theirs was just better or something.
They gave me a lot of drugs and I felt “good”. When I came to (which wasn’t long after the surgery), I was very sleepy but seemed be in decent control of my mind. The baby was handed to me and I fell in love with him right away. The nurse helped me breastfeed him and I was so proud of how he latched on right away. I just kept looking at his little face and thinking that he was as cute as they come.
I am sad that I didn’t have the birthing experience I had planned for and wanted so badly, but I am still very satisfied with my effort. I don’t feel like a failure at all. I labored naturally for 11 hours, I managed to get through 4 hours on Pitocin without drugs, I dealt with the pain of a less-than-perfect epidural and posterior baby, and I pushed for 2 and ½ hours without having slept for something like 33 hours and without having eaten in 24 hours.
I admit, I am scared of having another baby. Knowing that my babies get so big, I won’t let them go past 40 weeks anymore. I will probably not ever have my natural labor, unless the baby comes early on it’s own. As afraid as I am of having to have repeat c-sections, I will probably induce shortly before 40 weeks and get an epidural. If the epidural doesn’t take right, I will just deal with the pain. If Samuel had been smaller I could have pushed him out, even with the epidural. In short, I will aim for birth like the one I had with my daughter. Don’t get me wrong- I still think that natural labor is the best and healthiest option for birth for most pregnancies.
Of course, as any mother will say, it was all worth it. Samuel is wonderful and I know I am blessed. God gave me the labor I had for a reason and I accept that. Perhaps He was trying to humble me (which He did), or maybe it was what was necessary for my prayers to be answered. Whatever the reason, I trust Him and I thank Him for leading me and Samuel through labor and delivery.
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