Surrogate Mother

[Lexy]

Once I found out I was pregnant right away with my second, I was excited.
But, it also sparked my interest elsewhere. In a year or two, I'd like to become a surrogate mother.
I'm almost 20, fairly fit and active, lead a healthy lifestyle and I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. I love being pregnant and I don't have to give anything up to do this. That, and I'd love to help someone that can't normally have a family.
What does it take to become a surrogate?
I think it is, but how do I know it's the right choice for me?
I never mentioned it to my boyfriend yet... do you think he would be supportive?
I'll take all views and opinions on this matter.

(P.S. Sorry to admin if I put this in the wrong thread)

[phrogger]

What type of surrogacy are you interested in? That can make a difference. Gestational surrogacy (where you are not biologically related to the child) is very different from Traditional surrogacy where you are the biological mother. There is a thread in the adoption area of MDC about traditional surrogacy, and I will be honest, I am not a huge supporter of traditional surrogacy, BUT I have been a gestational surrogate as well and would be more then happy to answer any questions you might have. Most specifically you generally need to be over 21, done with your family (some women do lose their fertility as a surrogate) and having a LOT of support. There will be lots of Dr.'s appointments, psychological screening, travel possibly, medications, hormones, ultrasounds etc. that you have to make sure you can find child care for etc. It is a long process and not always does it end up being a great situation. However, I will see that my gestational surrogacy experience far outweighs my experience as a traditional surrogate and it is something I would support even my own sister doing. I would not support her doing a traditional surrogacy.

There are lots of surrogacy support groups out there, but if you look into them, go with an open mind and know that for every person who screams of the beauty of surrogacy, there are people on the other side who can tell you the horror stories. This isnt' for the faint of heart and you have to be sure of your motives and WHY you are wanting to do it in the first place.

[Lexy]

I'm definitely interested in gestational surrogacy and the plan was to do it after I was done with my own family.
I just really want to give to someone what I can have naturally. I feel for people that can't have kids. Family is an amazing thing and I feel that everyone should have an equal chance at experiencing that. I geuss I just want to do atleast one thing in my life to help someone else in a big way. This seemed like a really incredible way to do it. I expect the ups and downs and I ws thinking about it for a long while before I even mentioned it. Also, I'm not quite 20 yet, so I still have a lot of time to think about it and possibly change my mind. I just wanted to be able to make in informed decision and hear it from others' points of views =-)

[phrogger]

Originally Posted by Lexy

I'm definitely interested in gestational surrogacy and the plan was to do it after I was done with my own family.
I just really want to give to someone what I can have naturally. I feel for people that can't have kids. Family is an amazing thing and I feel that everyone should have an equal chance at experiencing that. I geuss I just want to do atleast one thing in my life to help someone else in a big way. This seemed like a really incredible way to do it. I expect the ups and downs and I ws thinking about it for a long while before I even mentioned it. Also, I'm not quite 20 yet, so I still have a lot of time to think about it and possibly change my mind. I just wanted to be able to make in informed decision and hear it from others' points of views =-)

GS can be a great thing. I had a decent experience with it, and while I don't see the kids now, I am totally ok with that. Not all GS's are, but I really am ok. It probably helped that I had 4 at one time and didn't bond with one single child.

Anyway, long story short, really research and plan for all the bad that can go wrong, and the anything that is better then that is awesome.

Make sure you really consider your feelings on abortion and selective reduction (terminating a fetus while keeping the pregnancy, like terminating a triplet and only carrying twins) or if you don't believe in it, make sure you are very strong in your convictions and stick to it. I personally don't believe in abortion or SR and had no problems finding a couple and I even had my faith on that tested by getting pregnant with quadruplets, but I did carry them all (a bad idea by the way, only put in two embryos).

There are quite a few surrogates on this board so I hope more chime in. I know very few GS's how had a ton of emotional turmoil over having a child and giving it to the parents, but it DOES happen so make sure you are sure and that you have a good support system. I think being young and having a lot of time to research and figure out what you want is a good thing.

I have been involved with surrogacy for almost 9 years now and things are changing so much, in some ways for the better and some ways not, so just keep checking back and keep up to date on everything.

[tropicaldutchtulip]

I just wanted to say good luck in your research. We are the IP's matched with our wonderful TS due to start cycling in about 3 1/2 weeks now! It can be a long process, it was for us. But so worth the wait!

[Kellyh_01]

It can be a wonderful thing. I delivered GS twins in 2002 and now I'm pursuing TS. I was 12+ weeks pregnant but the baby died and I had a D&C two weeks ago. We're kind of in limbo right now deciding if we'll try again or not. There is a ton of information on the web. Just google it. Jump onto message boards and start reading and asking questions. It is one of the most difficult things I've done, but also, by far, one of the most rewarding.

[Lexy]

Well, I'll go to my local health clinic and see if there's a nurse that can give me some information to read up on... maybe a book or two.
I appreciate all the insight.. thanks =-D

[phrogger]

Originally Posted by Lexy

Well, I'll go to my local health clinic and see if there's a nurse that can give me some information to read up on... maybe a book or two.
I appreciate all the insight.. thanks =-D

Most health clinics aren't going to have any information about surrogacy for you. You would be better off looking for a reproductive endocrinologist in your area (if you need help, let me know, I can direct you), and finding out if they have a surrogacy program if you want to talk to someone face to face. It is not as common as people think and there is a lot of bad information out there. Heck many family practice dr's don't even know the difference between traditional and gestational surrogacy.

[MommyHawk]

anyone have the link to the MDC surrogacy thread?

I have some questions myself and I can't seem to find it