|This afternoon I remembered we have a friend who is a counselor - I probably should have gone to her before a stranger, but somehow it seemed if it was just a thing my partner's privacy would be more intact with a stranger...
The thing is even a family friend who is a counsellor would have a legal obligation to report any suspected case of child abuse. Hearing the information you shared here, this person would have had to make the same phone calls to report the situation to the authorities, friend or not. Things would not have unfolded any differently.
|I hope I have done the right thing. When we were talking I kept trying to get him to talk about what he thought we should do, but never felt like I got an answer. My partner said I knew this would happen when I went to the counselor and I suppose I did - I know they have a legal/ethical responsiblility to report if they have reason to. It feels so horrid to have the police and state in my family.
A couple of things come to mind when I read this. First, it sounds like an odd response from your partner. It sounds like he is blaming you for the current distress in your family and like somehow you did the wrong thing. If he is innocent I would assume he would still be greatly distressed about being investigated, but also comfortable that everything would clear and be glad that your son's safety is taken so seriously. You didn't do anything wrong.
If he did do something wrong, this response fits the pattern of abusers not taking responsibility for their actions and always shifting blame onto other people.
I believe you that it is a horrible feeling to have your family being investigated like this, but really, isn't it better this way than taking the risk of your son being sexually abused? Neither option is pleasant, but if your partner did abuse your son, he tore apart the peace and comfort and well being of your family from the moment he began to sexually abuse a child. It is not your fault that this is happening.