I haven't posted much (but I've been lurking) just because I've been so tired. Could be because I'm not sleeping well at night, and just the weight and energy of the baby... at any rate, when I go to the library now, I check out four or five books because if I run out of good reading, I turn back to the pregnancy/birth books and freak myself out all over again. I keep trying to tell myself, I know what I need to know, and it'll all be great.
I did have a *slight* scare last week, though, that made me realize I'm not *quite* ready for bebe (and at 36 weeks, we're still early). I called my doc and then had to go to the hospital Thursday for a nonstress test because bebe decided to completely stop moving that day (normally he's a banshee) and scared the crap out of me. I also couldn't tell whether I was leaking fluid or was becoming completely incontinent and leaking pee. The ultrasound showed lots of fluid in the sac, and the NST went fine - until about 25 minutes in, when his heart rate dipped for a good five minutes. So they sent me from the pleasant Perinatal Center up to chilly Labor and Delivery, where I had to strip, put on a flimsy gown, and lie on a hard bed for three more hours for an extended test. Lucky for me, the ferning (fluid) test was negative - yep, get me some Depends - and the three-hour NST showed no more decelerations. I went back to the Perinatal Center yesterday for a follow-up NST and the nurses said, "Oh, we didn't expect to see you here again! We thought for sure when you got sent upstairs on Thursday that they were going to deliver your baby!" Gawd. Luckily, my doctor is fairly conservative and really doesn't want to deliver until after 37 weeks (next Monday), though I suppose if I'd been leaking fluid who knows what might have happened.
I did get some facial pix of bebe, though - the first one from Thursday was really goofy, so I asked the nurse yesterday to try to get a better angle (I know, I'm bad) since she had to do another ultrasound anyway, to look closely and make sure bebe is NOT going to look like the next Dizzy Gillespie in full blow. If I could post the pic, I would - Lazarus "Dizzy" Sanchez... nope. Doesn't work for me.
ANYway, we're doing the formal maternity ward tour tomorrow evening, and I'm hoping it'll leave me with better feelings than last Thursday did. Having to strip, lie in a COLD room with nothing to do, and get three-second checks from too-busy-for-you nurses left me kinda sour on the place. I actually called my insurance carrier to find out about alternatives (birth center, home) - nope, gotta go to the hospital (at least there's no co-pay). With mom *and* pop being unemployed right now, bebe unfortunately doesn't get a choice. Sigh.
Anyway (again), hearing about all the births inspires me, and also hearing from you fellow May-mamas-in-waiting helps me remain patient. (This WILL be a May baby, right?????????) And good idea on the breast pump - I've been looking at them but wondered whether I should get one now or wait. -Till when: after bebe is born and I'm more exhausted than I am now and my boobs are three sizes bigger? Think I'll venture out tomorrow...
Staley, glad to hear nursing is going well now... what's the cabbage for??? (and I'm glad to hear about the naming ceremony sans circ - I have yet to discuss this with DH, but I've firmly decided against the circ...)
-love to all,