Punishment-free parents: need help with a biggie - Page 5

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Originally Posted by churndash

I don't spank, I don't do time outs, I don't do conventional "punishments" but I do think children do have to occasinally be told no, you cannot do that. You cannot destroy property. You cannot hurt other people. This behavior is unacceptable.

When my children do something wrong, I tell them "that behavior is not acceptable because..." and if their behavior made me upset or sad or even angry, I let them know that too.

I have no problem with my children feeling guilty. In fact, if they have done something wrong they should feel guilty. That is what I call "having a conscience."

And when they do show remorse for what they have done, I forgive them, and we move on, and they very rarely do the same (or similar) thing again.

you can tell them until you are blue in the face but that doesnt make them observe a rule.

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Originally Posted by gsd1amommy

I don't think it's lack of compassion that made me inclined to ask if there may need to be a shift in her philosophy.

Can you elaborate on your comments? I don't feel like they are making any sense.

[labdogs42]

Originally Posted by PassionateWriter

really? if it was a mistake and an expensive table, you wouldnt try to fix it but make him buy you a new one?

The OP said the marker wouldn't come off and if my husband did it, yes, he'd buy a new table or a lot of table cloths to cover it up!