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Anybody still keeping it a secret? - Page 2

post #21 of 34
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post
I am in my 2nd trimester and still have not told. I just do not enjoy all the little remarks..or the big ones. Oddly, I am not showing yet so as long as I am not showing, I won't tell. I am really really enjoying the peace of being pregnant, free of others opinions and comments and "advice." My friends know though.
yeah that part has been getting on my nerves so far. We told everyone a couple weeks ago so I've comment after comment and since I've had m/s I'm not really in the best of moods each day. I just haven't been in the mood much to talk about my plans just yet.
post #22 of 34
When I started getting really sick, we had to tell our kids, and my family (we see them every day), and of course the kids told their friends and teachers....
That with us too. I hadn't told anyone, but my kids figured it out when I was about 8 weeks pregnant and had been in bed for a week puking. Word got out and I am so glad b/c I am still bed ridden at 13plus weeks and my Sunday School class has been providing meals for my family since then.

However, I live very far from my family and I just told them last week at 13 weeks. I will make it more public in the next few weeks (Facebook and on line groups, doula clients etc.).
post #23 of 34
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by joeys_mom View Post
We have only told our parents and siblings but no other family members. I have a huge extended family that will flip-out when they find out this was kept a secret so long. I won't tell them until I hear the heartbeat at my next MW appt (14w5d), I am 12w today.
Oh this is just like me! The problem is we see our extended family so often. It's tough keeping it a secret.

This is the first grandchild for both DH's mom and my parents. But it's also the first great-grand child on my mom's and my dad's family! My dad's parents are in town, so I will probably end up telling them tomorrow out of guilt. And I don't expect them to keep it a secret, so we'll end up telling all of my dad's family as well. I want to wait to tell my moms gigantic family until spring break when all my cousin's will be in town.

The whole thing seems to be a huge mine field!
post #24 of 34
Friends know, some locally and online, and my SIL knows because she sees me sick every day (I watch her kids). No one else in our families know. My DH's ex boss knows (we found out the day DH got laid off) and the employer he interviewed with knows. I'm putting off telling the families until we tell the kids, and I'm putting that off as long as I can since I don't want it to be an even longer wait for them.

I'll hopefully have an appointment with a midwife next week so my 5 year old will likely catch on then (I'm surprised he hasn't already, we haven't been overly careful). I'll be 10 weeks then so I guess him telling people won't be a huge thing.
post #25 of 34
I told the world In fact, we told them all within a few days of getting the home positive. I was trying to think of a cute way to tell them all, but I didn't come up with anything, so I just posted it on our webpage, then waited for the phone to start ringing!

My thoughts on it is that if we were to have another miscarriage (had one between our boys), then I'd want the support from friends/family. I don't want to suffer in silence. It would be hard to tell everyone, sure, and in the event that somehow someone (coworker, obscure family member, etc) didn't find out about the m/c and asked about the baby later, it would be awkward. But I don't want to keep that to myself either. A pregnancy means a new life beginning, whether that life makes it to birth and after, or if it ends too soon, it deserves to be celebrated. My thoughts anyway

Plus, I get awfully sick, I show very early (there's no hiding this pregnancy now and I'm only 10 weeks!), and I like the support from coworkers and neighbors who offer to help with my other kids.

None of our family lives near us, which is a good thing sometimes (no one looking over my shoulder, judging anything I do or don't do) and a bad thing sometimes (no extra support, no one to share in the joy) But we lived literally half way around the world (Japan) when we had our first baby, so we're used to doing this on our own
post #26 of 34
I've told a couple of close friends, but that's it. I'm not really sure I'm waiting for anything (second tri, first appointment), it just hasn't happened yet. I think I might have to tell my family soon since I'm getting a little belly and I'm fairly slim so I think they'll notice. (I'm 10w2ds). For some reason, I just don't really feel like talking about it yet. Everyone will be all excited and ask all kinds of questions and I know my MIL will start wondering whether I'm going to have another homebirth. Eh. Maybe in a couple of weeks.
post #27 of 34
definitely won't tell anyone til the 2nd trimester (or later). I am extremely high risk, and on probation at my job (have only been here 5 months), so I need to last at least 4 more weeks before I let anyone here find out. I got to 12 weeks with my last one (a different job) and had to tell them when I was put on bedrest while losing a twin. That was awkward. I can't give my employer a reason to get rid of me quite yet.
post #28 of 34


Still not telling...so much so that I've really only lurked here.

I haven't told anybody except dh, my closest friend, and my SIL (she lives practically next door and watches ds during my appointments, so I couldn't NOT tell her). Dh, on the other hand, announced it to everybody he works with...kinda cute except he only told me after the fact.

We're not going to tell family or other friends for quite a while. My hope is to wait until we know the sex and then announce that at the same time. How fun! One reason we are holding off is that I have been really nervous about something going wrong and having to explain that to our other children. I know they have to learn about these things some time, but I would prefer that time not to be now and in a situation that is so close to home.

On a side note, my dh totally made up for the premature work announcement. Last night I was coming down with a nasty, nasty cold/sore throat. He told me to go up to bed as soon as he got home and then took care of everything while I slept for 13 HOURS straight!! I don't know if I've EVER slept that long. I couldn't believe it, but I felt SOOOO much better when I woke up this morning. Yeah dh!!!
post #29 of 34
woah skydancer i think i had that same bug! i felt so much better after a long sleep! i was terrified it was the flu, whew!

and i am not telling til after my CVS results are in, in a week or so.

though everyone seems to know already, darn it. but we dont really "speak of it" kwim?
post #30 of 34
Yep, I'm only 10 weeks so we'll wait to tell "the world" a few weeks, but most of the important people know, and though they are sworn to secrecy it didn't work last time.
post #31 of 34
Well... if MIL gets her wish of a video phone call with the kids today, the cat will be out of the bag... is it bad to be glad that the kids are out doing things elsewhere and aren't available?
post #32 of 34
10 weeks here and still waiting...my mom and grandmother know and have since the test was and a couple of our friends know, but I haven't told the rest of my family (except my brother, who I told by accident and is sworn to secrecy) and MIL and won't until 12-13 weeks or so. Or longer, for MIL, as long as possible if I have my way, but we see her a lot and I'm already starting to get a little belly so we might have to tell her soon.
post #33 of 34
So happy you were able to escape it with a lot of sleep too, tofutti! I'm glad I'm not alone in waiting to tell.
post #34 of 34
Having confirmed that I am currently 12 weeks pregnant- I include the caveat that I was clusless until a couple weeks ago. I'm still nursing my 7 month old, so I paid no attention to not having a 'regular' cycle.

Anyway, I'm still adjusting to this, and while we're happy (we'd decided to start to TTC one day, and found out the next day... ) I'm still reeling. My plan was to have closer to 18 months between babies.... this will be more along the lines of 13-14. Ack.

My family will think we're insane, and I'm really not looking forward to the helpful commentary. My SIL is undergoing fertility treatment, and she was horrible throughout my last pregnancy as she didn't cope well. So, I'm enjoying my quiet little bubble of privacy for a while longer.
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