article: TN mom forced to pump in toilet stall or in manager's office with manager present

[dachshund mom]

This makes me so mad. I hope she wins her lawsuit.

http://www.tennessean.com/article/20...WS03/902260352

[tanyam926]

Makes me mad too. I can't even write what I was thinking as I was reading that article.

[sg784]

W o w..... Instant rage.

This is horrible! Can you imagine?! I can not imagine being placed in such a predicament and being able to control myself! I would have quit too! I hope she wins. I hope the manager who had a problem with breastfeeding has many many daughters who grow up to be clw moms proudly nursing till their babes are 3, 4, 5, 7, whatever! What else could possibly open her eyes! I cant believe this type of ignorance is alive and well in our society. I guess I just never thought it to be THIS bad.

[mysticmomma]

Anything I type here will be a UAV. How awful.

[evermore82]

I'm speechless...



I wonder how people can be so completely ignorant and lack any sort of tact! I hope the woman wins her case and sets an example for other businesses and jurisdictions...

[annettemarie]

I've removed several posts discussing the comments, as this violates the User Agreement:

Do not post to invite MDC members to other boards for adversarial purposes or post inflammatory information about MDC discussions at other boards, or about communities and discussions elsewhere, regardless of whether or not you link to that discussion or community. This is to maintain and respect the integrity of our own and other communities.

Thanks!

[annekka]

Originally Posted by sg784

W o w..... Instant rage.

This is horrible! Can you imagine?! I can not imagine being placed in such a predicament and being able to control myself!

I agree that this woman's circumstance sounds terrible and she wasn't treated with the respect and consideration she deserved. However, I personally don't think it's a big deal to pump in public. After all, aren't we all out there advocating for a nursing mother's right to feed her baby anywhere? What's so different about pumping?

At my current job I've not been offered a reasonable private place to pump. At first I was using a conference room, but the door didn't lock and 1/2 the time when I went to use it there were people in there, even if I had it reserved. Then the conference room was converted to an office, and the other ones get very heavy use. The director said I could use his office when he isn't there (not like the poor woman in the story!), but that's just a pain really if I can't count on the space being free. So I just pump in my not-private cubicle. I can work while I pump, I save time not needing to leave my desk, and I know it will always be available. My shirt offers enough privacy, more than NIP actually, and as far as I'm concerned if someone at work doesn't like it then they can *insert UAV language here*. So far no one had said anything (this is an all-male office other than me btw) and they give me respectful space when I'm pumping.

Just my 2cents, I still think pumping moms should be offered private space if they need it, but I'd rather have a convenient space than a private space, and private spaces can be hard to come by even in workplaces with good intentions. I'm proud to be pumping milk for my LO and don't feel the need to hide what I'm doing.

[lacysmommy]

Originally Posted by annekka

I agree that this woman's circumstance sounds terrible and she wasn't treated with the respect and consideration she deserved. However, I personally don't think it's a big deal to pump in public. After all, aren't we all out there advocating for a nursing mother's right to feed her baby anywhere? What's so different about pumping?

At my current job I've not been offered a reasonable private place to pump. At first I was using a conference room, but the door didn't lock and 1/2 the time when I went to use it there were people in there, even if I had it reserved. Then the conference room was converted to an office, and the other ones get very heavy use. The director said I could use his office when he isn't there (not like the poor woman in the story!), but that's just a pain really if I can't count on the space being free. So I just pump in my not-private cubicle. I can work while I pump, I save time not needing to leave my desk, and I know it will always be available. My shirt offers enough privacy, more than NIP actually, and as far as I'm concerned if someone at work doesn't like it then they can *insert UAV language here*. So far no one had said anything (this is an all-male office other than me btw) and they give me respectful space when I'm pumping.

Just my 2cents, I still think pumping moms should be offered private space if they need it, but I'd rather have a convenient space than a private space, and private spaces can be hard to come by even in workplaces with good intentions. I'm proud to be pumping milk for my LO and don't feel the need to hide what I'm doing.

You're lucky. I pumped one time in my far off to the side cube at work and HR called like an hour later to address a complaint about where I was pumping. I was having trouble finding a private area to pump, as the lounges (which are not only reserved for pumping) were frequently occupied so I decided to pump at my cube and I felt humiliated when I "got in trouble" for pumping milk for my baby (I was very sensitive as it was since I didn't want to be working anyway!). Personally, I will nurse in public, but to me pumping is very, very different than nursing. I've had people come up to me while I'm nursing my baby and ask to take a look at the "sleeping" baby and then turn around quickly when they realize that I'm nursing. Pumping is so completely different in that everyone knows without a doubt what you are doing. Not everyone is comfortable with pumping in front of other people, especially relative strangers, whereas they might be fine nursing in front of others.

[calpurnia]

annekka - yes, i've wondered about this as well. i will breastfeed anywhere, but don't feel comfortable pumping in public (i was originally offered the postgrad common room to pump in - now i pump in the lockable first aid room). i can't put my finger on why though.

[jocelynr]

I also will nurse anywhere my baby needs, but I do not like pumping around lots of other people. I have been pumping and people have walked in before (just close friends), and it hasn't bothered me. Most people feel really weirded out by my pumping, and they don't want to see it. Nursing is natural--pumping is man-made to help us continue the bf relationship. I think that's part of it.

[paquerette]

Also if the mama is not 100% comfortable her supply may take a hit, and so many pumping moms have to struggle with that as it is!

[candipooh]

My husband and I worked for this company (not Olive Garden but the GRMI company) . He was a manager for many years. It is a terrible company and does not care about "the little person" at the bottom. I was so glad to leave them. They will most likely settle and tell her to keep her mouth shut.

[Tine]

That manager's "disgusting" comment says it all. The problem here is *hers* -- Olive Garden will lose this suit, and hopefully this manager will be reassigned to a position where she won't be such a menace to society.

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by calpurnia

annekka - yes, i've wondered about this as well. i will breastfeed anywhere, but don't feel comfortable pumping in public (i was originally offered the postgrad common room to pump in - now i pump in the lockable first aid room). i can't put my finger on why though.

for me it's because nursing is a lot more discreet than pumping. when i pump, everything is exposed and it's all really obvious and loud and just...ewww.

i can't imagine having to pump in front of my boss, or really anyone! :

this is an awful situation. i hope this poor mama gets every penny she's suing for!

[RomanCarmelMom]

I found pumping to be very awkward. I was fine pumping in front of my husband, nurses, my mother or close female friends, or lactivists. I NIPd everywhere and was comfortable doing so. I would feel humiliated if I had to pump around strangers. Both breasts are completely exposed, you can see the nipple stretching out as it's being pumped, etc. It's completely different to me than nursing my baby around other people. If I want to, I can nurse discreetly with a nursing top if I feel those around me won't be respectful. I can't pump discreetly if I'm uncomfortable with the people around me.

[sagemomma]

being that i am not shy , i would have
A) sat at a table or booth and pumped right there
or B) had my husband bring the baby to me, and nursed baby in a sling as i took orders...
but thats just me . the worst part is seeing how small minded and uneducated some people are about breastfeeding judging by the comments at the bottom.
i've had many a friend fascinated by watching me pump. sometimes they'd get real close and go "oh gosh there's more than one hole"

[Romana]

I cannot pump in public. I need privacy to pump. I would also not breastfeed in front of my boss or many of my colleagues. I never want my boss to see any part of my breasts . . . I'm not comfortable with that. It's not the way our relationship is. It would damage my position at my employer's and make things very awkward. That said, if I for some reason had to nurse the baby around my colleagues, that would be far, far easier than pumping around them, for all of the reasons everyone else has already said.

It would feel humiliating to me to have to pump in public at work. The only thing I can think of to compare it to is being told that I can't take a bathroom break to change a tampon so I have to do that in a public workspace. I can probably do it without showing anything and there's nothing inherently shameful about it, but it is such a private act (for me, anyway) that I would find it very humiliating to be told I could not have privacy.

I don't think that should ever, ever be expected of a mother. I don't think I would have pumped if I didn't have a private space. I don't find pupming easy and I've pumped for 22 months now (2 different babies). I could never have done that without privacy.

[annettemarie]

I don't think this can be in any way compared with a woman choosing to nurse in public. A more apt comparison would be a woman who was told she could nurse her baby if and only if she did it in front of an audience. I've been nursing for 10 years straight, and even I would have performace anxiety in that situation.

[annekka]

Hm, I'm really surprised by how many responded negatively about pumping in public. I do understand, as I felt the same way with my first (that was at a different job). I absolutely needed a locking room, and when I got a nasty note from a anonymous co-worker telling me how "disgusting" it was, I was horribly embarrassed and cried for an hour. I got over it, kept pumping, and I guess now I just don't care as much what other people think. To be clear I'm not pumping topless in front of an "audience" . I preserve my modesty just as I might when NIP -- sitting at my desk, facing the wall, pumping under my shirt. I do one side at a time and either work or surf the web while the PIS does its thing. If someone comes by they can hear the pump and they say "Oh I see you're busy" and I say "Yeah give me 10 min I'll come get you when I'm done". It seemed so wrong to me at first not to have anywhere private, but really it's not a big deal, and so much easier than kicking managers out of their offices or squeezing into dirty broom closets.

It's so sad when I talk to working moms who weaned early because there was no place for them to pump. It seems like with a little bit of creativity and some basic consideration for the needs of others, accommodations can be made even in work environments where there simply is no private space outside of the bathroom stalls. Also, my work is really great about work-at-home scheduling -- that's even better than the nicest lactation room

[kalisis]

I really think the bottom line here is that the mom in this story was uncomfortable with the options given and so it appears that the company did NOT, in fact, abide by the law which calls for a private pumping place other than the bathroom or their statement that they made every reasonable effort to accommodate her.

It's fine if everyone else and their dog is comfortable pumping in public, but for this mom, she was NOT and that is what matters.

We all have different levels of comfort and so just b/c you can pump here or there or wherever or work for a company that has a nice vacation policy or whatever does not mean that everyone should feel that comfortable or they work for a company with similar policies.

This mom wanted to pump for her baby, the law is on her side and the company did not abide by the law. End of story.