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IL's have offered to help us out on down payment

post #1 of 157
Thread Starter 
H told me this last night and I was really surprised. Mainly, because we already have two loans out from them - one was for credit card help but that will be paid off when we get our tax refund and the other loan was for H's car that he bought 3 years ago - that loan will be paid off in 2 years. And also, because they have lost 1/2 of their retirement savings in the crappy market.

Sooooo..with all of that said. How would you feel about this? WWYD? If we do take them up on their offer, it will give us the opportunity to put our house on the market sooner than we had anticipated, which is a huge plus in my book as we need a bigger house sooner rather than later.
post #2 of 157
For me, personally, my rule of thumb for myself is that if I cannot save the money for a down payment (on anything), then it is not something I can afford to own. (In truth, other than a home, we don't buy anything we can't save and buy outright, but that's just us.) I would not do it unless you can save the money yourself.
post #3 of 157
Did they offer you a gift, or another loan?
post #4 of 157
Honestly, if they lost a lot of their retirement savings I wouldn't feel comfortable taking the money.
post #5 of 157
I don't think I would do it either, unless I was really really desperate.
post #6 of 157
I wouldn't take it. They've lost half of their retirement savings. You already owe them money that won't be paid back for two years. What will happen if you can't pay them back?

I'd stick with the smaller house for a few years until you can afford to buy a bigger one without needing help.
post #7 of 157
If I were living in a place where rent was hugely more than mortgage and the down payment was the only problem, I would do it.

If I could easily afford to pay them back within a couple of years, but time of getting into our own house was the only issue then I would also do it.

If my parents were absolutely rolling in money I would do it.
post #8 of 157
Thread Starter 
I understand what everyone is saying, but I don't think they would offer it if they didn't feel comfortable doing so - financially, that is. They both make really, really good money and are pretty frugal themselves - most of what they buy is resale and they decorate from things purchased at garage sales, etc., Therefore, they have the money to re-do their kitchen, or put in a nice ceramic floor in their entry way or go to Tahoe for vacation.

H and I were originally going to use our tax refund to put towards a down payment - put in to savings. But we both feel it would save us a bit more money if we paid off one of our loans with them.
post #9 of 157
I wouldn't unless I knew it would present no hardship or risk to my parents.
post #10 of 157
I'm in the if you can't afford the down payment, needed a loan to cover your cc and car loan from them already then you really should not be buying a bigger house until you can afford it.
post #11 of 157
No, it seems like they have helped you enough.
post #12 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtm View Post
I'm in the if you can't afford the down payment, needed a loan to cover your cc and car loan from them already then you really should not be buying a bigger house until you can afford it.
this.
post #13 of 157
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtm View Post
I'm in the if you can't afford the down payment, needed a loan to cover your cc and car loan from them already then you really should not be buying a bigger house until you can afford it.
CC loan will be paid off in two months and the car loan was cheaper interest to do it this way than going thru a dealership or another bank. And THEY offered the down payment, we didn't ask.
post #14 of 157
I want to reply, but I can't seem to figure out what to say that will be helpful while really expressing my feelings.

IMHO, it sounds like your parents have helped you enough. Time to cut the apron strings and stand on your own feet. Reevaluate needs and wants. My dh's best friend (they both left Turkey in 1975 to go to grad school) went to Germany and after finishing school, got married and started a family (5 kids)... they lived in an 800 square foot (75 square metre) flat, all 7 of them, for a decade. In the US, we often mistake our wants for needs. That's why we're in the situation that we are right now. People felt entitled and that entitlement led to our demise.

Life is different now. If your parents can enjoy a tiny bit of retirement, let them. They earned it. It won't last long with the way things are going. Save your money and if you can afford a down payment, go for it.
post #15 of 157
I understand they offered it but personally, my answer would be thank you, but no thank you.

You already owe them money, those are debts regardless if they are held by a corporation or the parents.

Do you have 3-6 month emergency fund? If that answer is also no, then my stance holds the same, but just became even more firm.
post #16 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denvergirlie View Post
I understand they offered it but personally, my answer would be thank you, but no thank you.

You already owe them money, those are debts regardless if they are held by a corporation or the parents.

Do you have 3-6 month emergency fund? If that answer is also no, then my stance holds the same, but just became even more firm.
This. There are a lot of people who are in deep trouble because they took loans they could not afford to pay back because "the bank offered it". Same thing here. If you can't afford to save a downpayment, you can't afford the house. Yet. It doesn't mean you will never be able to afford the bigger house, just that you should wait until you can.

I think you agree deep down, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered to post about it.
post #17 of 157
I would also say no, for all the reasons everyone already stated. I would also be afraid of a gift or loan like that coming with strings attached. Not saying your ILs would do that, but if I were in that situation the thought would cross my mind.
post #18 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtm View Post
I'm in the if you can't afford the down payment, needed a loan to cover your cc and car loan from them already then you really should not be buying a bigger house until you can afford it.
This.

Check out the small house thread for ideas to make your house work well for you until you are in a good financial position to buy a larger home.
post #19 of 157
Nope! Sounds like your vary close to being out of debt on your own.

How big is your house now? Maybe working on the house your in now would help you feel you could stay longer?
post #20 of 157
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by p1gg1e View Post
Nope! Sounds like your vary close to being out of debt on your own.

How big is your house now? Maybe working on the house your in now would help you feel you could stay longer?

I really wish that were the case. We cannot add on to our house. We live in the city and the distance between our house and the next is about two to three feet.

The reasons to move not only fall under needing a larger sized house, but also the fact that DS will be in kindergarten before we know and would like to move to the burbs, to be a better school district (city public schools where we live are awful), and establish ourselves in a neighborhood/community.

We're at our limit on things that we can do to the house. We would build up, but that would mean saving money to do that and then we circle back to the whole school district issue. It's a 2 bed/1 bath - around 1,100 square feet with a basement and tucked in garage.
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