I really like it when I go to my homebirth support group and the leader says: "Birth is painful. The most hard and painful thing I've ever done." And majority of the women there agree. I'm very grateful when other homebirthing mamas remark on how HARD and powerful birth is.
I had a 20 hour labor and successful homebirth but it took me months to really absorb the event. I felt guilty and confused that the Hypnobabies relaxation techniques seemed to fail. I couldn't understand why it took DS 20 hours of 3 minutes apart contraction to arrive. I felt like a failure for pushing for 4 hours. What had I done wrong??? What was wrong with ME?
It was a good birth according to some. My mom told me the other day how well I did, much better than any of the 8 times she birthed my siblings. But DS's birth wasn't what I was expecting and the pain was REAL, not to be relaxed away like other women said they did. I'm still in the process of accepting how things went and we're TTC our second! I really want to sit down and have a nice long talk with my midwife about my birth and reflect on it with her. I suppose I'll do that when I meet with her for prenatal with our next babe!
I do think unmedicated birth is best for mama and baby physically HOWEVER mentally, women need to be healthy as well. If having an epidural or Cesarean birth is best for a mama, I am happy to support that. Assigning a "one size birth fits all" theory to all women is damaging. Just because I had a certain kind of birth does not mean everyone else must also have that kind of birth.