tolerate school?

[meemee]

my dd is in first grade. apart from recess and her friends she sees no reason to go to school. she hates the repetition, the homework she has to do and that there is no fun activity in school. she goes to a public school and i am a single fulltime student so hs is not an option. it IS the best option for her though for her personality. i think if they didnt have homework that would solve at least 50% of the problem. she loves her teacher as a person but i can see she is not v. impressed with her lack of humour and insistence on academics. its a worksheet kinda school.

i have found all the public schools here follow saxon math and open court reading both of which repeat repeat. so changing schools is not going to help (this is her second school) as they follow the same curriculum and they all also give homework. none of the schools are willing to work with homework. they may be willing to give us extra time but it still has to be done.

my dd tells me she is only going to school because she has no other option. she hates going. and the day after a long weekend is really hard on her.

i try to involve her in fun afterschool activities - doing what she enjoys. we dont get v. much time and she has to finish her homework in that time. she has to turn in her homework everyday or else sit on the bench and do it during 15 min recess.

i am just wondering if any of your children feel the same way like mine about school.

[williamsmommy2002]

Maybe she needs a teacher who will challenge her. My experience is that most kids who don't like school at this young of an age are very bright and are bored.

[kathymuggle]

How much homework are we talking about?

Some guidelines I have read are 10 minutes per grade.

1rst grade = 10 minutes of homework.

If solving the homework battle would ease 50% of the problem - I would do that.


Ideas:

talk to teacher about amount of work

scribe work as appropriate

Simply do not do homework or more than what you think is necessary. Let teacher know this is what you are doing.

Good luck!

Kathy

[meemee]

*sigh* no negotiations on homework.

she gets about 8 sides of homework, and a journal page. takes about what half an hour to do but takes us an hour to do it coz she hates it so.

yup she is bright and bored as are the other bright kids in her class. the others get into trouble and my dd zones out.

we have already had so many talks with the teacher with my dd present. i dont really get any support there.

if my dd consistently doesnt do her homework she will be asked to leave. and the school district is not going to support me because this school has a lot of importance since it is the best in teh district and so stresses on homework.

in fact all schools that i have checked stress on homework - for further funding.

at this point i am reluctant to leave the school because i havent found a better alternative. and secondly they have a v. strong PTA and my dd has access to many activities that are missing in other schools.

[Alyantavid]

My experience is that most kids who don't like school at this young of an age are very bright and are bored.

Yep. My son's not thrilled with school. He's very advanced in his class and I know he spends most of his day bored. He is doing some accelerated math and reading but he isn't being challenged nearly enough. He's in one of the best schools so I don't want to move him, we just have to work on finding him some more difficult things to do.

[egoldber]

if my dd consistently doesnt do her homework she will be asked to leave. and the school district is not going to support me because this school has a lot of importance since it is the best in teh district and so stresses on homework.

Does your district have a written homework policy? Is what the teacher is assigning consistent with the policy? Have you talked to the administration?

she gets about 8 sides of homework, and a journal page. takes about what half an hour to do but takes us an hour to do it coz she hates it so.

Maybe change up when and how she does the homework? I find my older DD has a lot more success doing homework after dinner or in the morning.

[lilyka]

can you break up the home work a little? 5-10 minutes then time for supper, 10 minutes after supper then outside to play a little, then 10 more minutes and time for a bath, 10 more minutes then time for bed. maybe 10 minutes in the morning before school?

perhaps have a reward system set up, maybe 10 cents for every 10 minutes she does without whining or stalling. use the money for rediculous pencils, book fares etc . .

[kathymuggle]

Mixing up the scheduel may help.

Do homework in the morning instead of the afternoon - she may be more amenable.

I would seriously consider scribing. Grade 1's often have slow motor skills - her doing it orally while you write may cut down on the time.

Consider mixing up the space where you do homework. Do you pick her up from school? Is there a library or coffee shop on the way home? sometimes kids are more focused out of the home. Home has too many things they would rather be doing I know it probably isn't realistic to always do work outside the house - but sometimes....

While I have not had kids who felt the way your DD does, I have had the experience of feeling the school is unsupportive. The only advice I can give is:

-pick your battles. You said you have had multiple talks with teachers - the sad truth is they might be starting to tune you out - or dismiss you as a picky/problem parent.

-when you decide something is worth pursueing - consider putting it in writing. I have had better results this way. Certainly if you get to the point where you are considerring withdrawing your child - put your concerns in writing and ask for a response in writing.

HUGS to both of you - enjoy the weekend!

Kathy

[meemee]

aww thanks mamas. i should have explained a little more.

we have two issues here. one is homework and the other is boredom in class.

yeah i do all those things with homework. i have removed myself from the homework part. i never ask her or tell her. after our talks that is what she has decided that's how she wants it to be. we basically come home to sleep. we do our homework at the library, coffee shop, the park weather permitting. somedays she leaves part of the homework for the morning.

she also has a specific way of doing it. it has to be done in a certain order and time wise. so its not too easy to break up. :

the teacher does not zone me out primarily because i volunteer in class a lot and she depends on me a lot. the thing is i understand the teachers point of view too. she has to follow school rules, even though she might think otherwise. if she makes an exception for us then some others will jump up too. but on the other hand she is also the kind who personally feels children need to repeat, repeat to learn. so its her way of caring. making sure all the children are on task so that they dont suffer in the higher grades. she sees it as her duty to make sure the building blocks are strong. which i appreciate too. works for students who need it. doesnt for kids like my dd. *sigh*

lilyka rewards system doesnt work for my dd at all. it does for a short while but then she sees thru it. its not worth using. she recognises when others use it and points it out.

egolber yes it is consistent with the school policy. not sure about the district. but even other schools do give maybe a little less homework but its still there.

we do a lot of supplement at home. and she wants to be challenged more. there is a tutor she is fond of at the library and she wants to do more math with her. but i cant afford her. i am going to see who i can get to spend a little time with her.

at this age in a sense she is separating as well as wanting me more. she is going thru a hard state. she is asking for other teachers in her life apart from me, and yet she wants the emotional support from me. so she doesnt want to spend a lot of time with me. BUT she wants more cuddle time which thankfully we do get.

she loves the afterschool program. wants to hang out with the kids there. might put her there. they have a huge waiting list. sometimes we visit her old school and she goes to the afterschool program to visit and we sometimes do homework there too.

[CarrieMF]

You mentioned this is the 2nd school she's been in. Was her other school more fun? Was she in the other school for K & did they do more fun things in K?

Alot of kids find adjusting to grade 1 to be hard because they want to do the fun things they did in K(and playschool if they did that). They don't want to do the work in Grade 1.

Does the teacher do anything to make learning fun?

[meemee]

the reason why we changed was K was not fun.

problem is she wants school to be like ps. she really enjoyed her non academic ps. hands on science experiments, cool art projects, sensory play.

yup that's what her teacher tells me so too. kids find first grade hard.

no the teacher does not do anything in my opinion to make learning fun. but she emotionally supports them. but she just doesnt know how to make learning fun. she jokes v. little. if she could somehow lighten the day i know the day would go better for some of the kids. but she is so focused into making sure the kids know their stuff that she (dont know if that is a personal choice, or the school expects that) cant really treat it lightly. she does sometimes, but not enough. i knwo if she just changed a little school would be much more tolerable for the kids - but that is just not her personality.

i am sure if you asked the teacher does seh do things to make learning fun, she would probably say yes. to a degree. within the bounds of the curriculum which is not enough for the kids.

[junipermuse]

I don't really have any advice, but it made me so sad to think of how miserable your poor dd is at school. I know as adults we often have jobs that we don't like or tasks we have to do that are dull, but as adults we have so many more options than children. We can go back to school for a new career or just find a job that more suits our personalities. It makes me so angry that the school isn't willing to do more to make this a good fit for your dd. Can they really kick you out of the school for not doing the homework? That's so hard to believe. Even if you were stuck having to send her to a school that wasn't as "good" it seems like it might be worth it to at least end the homework issue. At least at home you could make up for the fun she isn't having at school. If you had to go to a school that isn't as "good" maybe you'd at least end up with a teacher that's a better fit for dd. Is it possible to look at switching classrooms at the school she's currently at. I just can't imagine having to wake up every morning and go to a place that is miserable and then come home to another hour of miserable work. I'm assuming homeschooling isn't an option right? I hope you guys figure out some way to make the whole situation more pleasant.

[CarrieMF]

but she just doesnt know how to make learning fun.

She needs to do some research then, the internet is full of it. There are lots of ways to make learning fun. One of the easiest is to incorporate music & movement(clapping/dancing/sign language). Come up with games that the kids like to play. If they do sight words, BANG! is a game grade 1s love.

It's been super cold here more than usual. One day when the kids had been inside too much my dd's new teacher had them crumple thier papers up so they could have a "snowball" fight in the classroom.

Perhaps you & your dd could come up with some ideas on how to make it for more, then see if the teacher would be willing to incorporate some of it.

[pranamama]

I hope you find a good solution. I have watched schools changing since my oldest went and children did have more fun when there was more art and music in the schedule. If you have private schools nearby, maybe you can ask about scholarships.

[muse]

meemee, that's really too bad...we switched ds from waldorf to PS in january, he's in first grade. we were so nervous about it but i guess we got lucky with a great teacher who knows how to make learning fun and doesn't have any homework requirements (ds creates his own just for fun!). i think if i saw my child not wanting to go to school (which is what happened for us at waldorf) i'd be trying to look at whatever options are available, but i know how hard that can be...and i'm guessing homeschool is not an option?