Houston Marshalls - Told to Go to the Bathroom

[Past_VNE]

We were all in The Woodlands Marshalls last night. DH and DS headed off to check out some things. I was browsing the baby stuff while nursing DD. I saw an employee doing nothing a few aisles away and she seemed really suspicious. As I rounded the end of the clothes rack, she met me and told me I'd have to go to the bathroom to nurse. I don't recall whether she said "nurse" "feed the baby" "do that" or what.

I told her, "Actually, Texas law protects nursing anywhere I'm otherwise allowed to be." She said, "Yes, but you're showing." (I'm a 36 big C right now....there's not a whole lot to be revealed. My kind-of low cut shirt was pulled under my breast and I had a cotton jacket over my shirt that partially covered the top of my breast. However, the top of my breast was mostly showing, but b/c of the shirt I was wearing, so was the other one, regardless of BF. She said something about the bathroom one more time, I think, but then dropped that part of her argument.

She took the plastic package of boys' undershirts out of my hand and said, "Here, you can cover with these shirts you are getting her." A plastic package of shirts?? WTF? : I said, "You can't see anything, I don't need to cover." By 'anything' I meant nipple, but I guess she was appalled at my breast skin in general, because she replied, "Aw, honey, we could see you on the security camera, so you're exposed." (Wow, cameras are really high res these days, huh?? LOL)

Anyway, I just pulled my jacket a tiny hair closer to my chest, in a mock attempt to "cover" and walked away, shrugged her off and walked away, looking for DH and DS, b/c I heard the little guy calling, "Mama!!" at that point. When I found them, I told DH about it and over his shoulder, saw her on some phone to whomever, glaring at me. Anyway, I nursed til she was done and then went about my shopping, with no further issues.

Should I just vent here or pursue it with a letter or something?



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Oh...and I should mention....not that any bathroom is a good place to nurse, I had already been in there to change DD. There was no changing table. I squatted on the dirty floor, with her on my lap, doing a balancing act while I changed her. If I wasn't so against the general idea of nursing in bathrooms, I would have said, "Nurse her there?!?! I could hardly CHANGE her in there!!"

[annettemarie]

You should vent here AND write a letter. She was obnoxious and was violating the law, right? I'm so sorry you were "exposed" to that sort of rudeness.

[kalisis]

Yep, def right a letter. I wouldn't get into the whole how much of your breast was exposed thing, b/c that doesn't really matter. You were legally allowed to be in that store and so she violated the law.

I would take the approach that they perhaps need to offer more/better employee training.

[Sagesgirl]

ITA with Annettemarie.

By the way, you handled yourself wonderfully. When someone acts dumb, treat 'em like they're dumb.

I know they print cards with the statute guaranteeing our right to NIP on them, if you want you can call your local health department & see if they have some. Then, in the future, if you want to, you can hand a card to anyone who bothers you.

[Past_VNE]

Yes, I agree on all counts. I mention about what was exposed only here, among those who already understand the overall situation. I agree that it's not pertinent when discussing it with mgmt at the store. DH was like, "Bring it on! Let 'em call the cops, if they want!!" He also said he would make me cards with the law on them.

Funny thing is, I just posted YESTERDAY about how I'd never been hassled in public in the yrs I bf DS out and about. I guess it's about regional differences? I nursed DS all over the country, but never spent any time in REALLY conservative places like I am now living in. :

[LavenderMae]

You handled the harrassment really well. I always get so flustered when confronted with such stupidity.
I would definitely write a letter.

[runes]

First of all...CONGRATULATIONS!! :

You handled yourself beautifully, mama. The employee actually wanted you to use a plastic package of shirts to cover with? That is just...unbelievably inappropriate. All of the other stuff she said to you was bad enough, but that takes the cake.

In your shoes I would write a letter addressed to the manager of that Marshalls, and cc corporate. Please keep us posted so that we can assist you in taking it to the next level, if that is deemed necessary.

[shepremiers]

I am nearby and available for a nurse in!

[nannymom]

I would write a letter. I once had a manager at Marriot cover Iris' head with a napkin and told me I would be more comfortable like that. I was stunned and didn't react but I wish I had complained now.

[Siera]

I would write a letter and let Marshalls know. That was in clear violation of Texas law. You were doing nothing wrong and, IMO, you were being discreet to boot!

[Sagesgirl]

Originally Posted by Past_VNE

Funny thing is, I just posted YESTERDAY about how I'd never been hassled in public in the yrs I bf DS out and about. I guess it's about regional differences? I nursed DS all over the country, but never spent any time in REALLY conservative places like I am now living in. :

San Antonio is very conservative as well, but I've never gotten a negative reaction here. We have a whole bunch of anti-Houston jokes in this city. I don't go there unless I just have to. I don't even like driving through it.

Really, though, in a state that is all about individualism, we need to stay the heck off the collective rear ends of breastfeeding mothers.

[serenekitten]

Write a letter. Her behavior and statements were completely ridiculous, and you handled it wonderfully.

If their bathrooms are as bad as the ones in my state, I would have asked her if she'd eat her lunch in there (they're disgusting). And if an employee took a package out of my hands, I'd assume they didn't want my business.

[Chandar]

First of all great job handling an awkward and potentially embarrasing situation mama!

You could report your incident here http://firstright.org/reportdiscrimination

FirstRight keeps a database on all of the discrimination incidents around the country. They are also set up to help walk you through writing letters ans suggesting policies.

Chandra

[homewithtwinsmama]

Originally Posted by shepremiers

I am nearby and available for a nurse in!

This is as useless as yelling first on blogs. A nurse in is the last or near last in series of steps to make positive change. She should contact Firstright.org and write a letter to the manager of the store. Then see if she gets appropriate responses and work up the chain of management first. Then if inadequate a nurse in for education purposes MAY be the way to go. Why do we go through this every time someone has an incident. We really need a sticky on effective lactivism.

[Past_VNE]

Thanks so much for the link! I filled out the form on firstright.org and can't wait to hear back from them. I also found a phone number for the state health department that requests good and bad feedback on experiences nursing related to businesses. I left them a message and was hoping to hear back from them after lunch, but didn't. Maybe tomorrow?

[Swan3]

You did GREAT!!!! DO write a letter though!

Reading these posts I get so excited about having another baby...no more locking myself in the house or only going out for 1.5 hours to avoid NIP. I'm lettin' it all hang out this time and I can't wait!!!!

[Tari Mithrandir]

Big congrats to you!
I would write a letter of complaint to the management of the store, at the least, if nothing else, maybe they can better educate their employees on what is allowed by law in your area :P

[Pam_and_Abigail]

You know, I agree, nurse-ins aren't all that educational, compared with writing letters and some of the other avenues. Contact your media, too.

[Past_VNE]

I definitely plan to write a letter to the store, and CC it to corporate headquarters, but I'm not the best at it, so I'm waiting for DH to get home to help out. Also, it looks like firstright gives some pointers for that, too. (?)

Thanks everyone, for all the support. You mamas are awesome.

[yarngoddess]

Sounds like you are doing everything that you can for the moment!
Congrats on nursing your little one in public!!! Don't let this one incident make you uncomfortable though... I have nursed 4 and every time I've had a negative situation, I find myself more self conscious of NIP after! Shake it off momma!!!

I love that you are able to contact the state! What a cool feature! I wish we had that here in California...not that there's a lot of bad experinces- but still!!! I hope you get the results that you want from Marshalls and the health department. Great job, again momma!