Queer Conceptions - March 2009 - Page 9

[Forthwith]

Could I be added to the list under 'Waiting to O'? I should be going for my very first IUI early this week. Or later if all this stress/excitement messes up my cycle I'm sure you guys all know the feeling - excited and scared, and trying not to count getting a BFP, but at the same time wanting to think positively.

: To everyone who's gotten their BFP, and to FTMPapa. I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time.

[osker]

FTMPapa, I totally hear you! I try to remind myself that someone else having a baby doesn't mean that there are fewer babies out there for the future, but it's hard! Sometimes I feel like every other person's pregnancy is taking something away from me!
Rationally I know that's not the case, but years and years of doing this starts to wear you down. The easy bliss of those with beginner's luck drives me crazy as well... I start thinking, gosh, if we had beginner's luck we would have a near 2yo by this point and probably a second as well.... but no, instead we are in the exact same place we were in years ago, just waiting, thinking, hoping, dreaming....
It's good that you recognize your own need to step back and take a breath. Loving yourself is one of the hardest parts of this process!
:

[indigoscot]

papa, many, many hugs coming your way. i understand that 4yo voice yelling "not fair" because i have done it (internally) myself in other situations.

when i got my bfp on the second try, i was almost hesitant to announce it on the other board i hang out on because there were several ladies on there who had been trying for 9-12 months longer than me. i wsh there was a way i could wave a wand and give all the long-timers their bfp, i really do. for your own sanity, it's probably time to get those labs done you've been talking about and take this to the next level. i hope you can fit those in around your already crazy schedule!

i'll take the april thread!

feel better papa.

g

[mommies_2_be]

Congratz to the many BPF's this month!!! Spring is definitely in the air :-)

Ok, so I'm freaking out a little bit. After watching our midwives perform about 6 IUI's, my partner and I decided we would give it a go at home. At $250 dollars a pop (plus the pricey vial o' swimmers each month), the costs were really starting to add up. is Now I'm really regretting it. My partner didn't realize how important it was not to have any air bubblies in the catheter. She didn't hold it upside down or tap any of the air out at all. You could actually hear some of the bubbles coming out as she was dispensing the sperm. She also reperts having seen bubbles coming out through the os just as she was finished. When we realized what had happened, we checked the internet and read that getting air into the uterus can be fatal or lilfe-threatening. To say that I'm a little worried is an understatement. The os is closed after ovulation, so I don't think it's possible for the air to come out. Does anyone know what is so dangerous about it? Any tips on how to get it out??? What I feel is a bloated pressure in my lower abdomen. Not pain per so, just the kind of full fulling you have when you have intestinal gas and can't pass it. Should I wait and see what happens over the course of several days? The midwife on call said when air enters the uterus, they worry about an air embolism. Do you think I'm overreacting? If we're not pregnant this cycle, would the air come out with the next period?

Anyone have experience with this? I think I just need someone to tell me everthing will be ok.

[indigoscot]

are you sure she really went into your uterus? if she only went into your cervix there's less chance of any issues. however, if you think that the catheter DID go into your uterus and there were definitely bubbles, go to the doctor. it isn't worth taking a chance with your life!

g

[mommies_2_be]

She was definitely inside my uterus. The catheter was as far in as it could be. I feel mostly bloated. I also have some pain around my left ovary. Do you think an ultrasound would show the air bubbles? Would we have to pay out of pocket for it because it was essentially 'our fault'?

Still kicking myself for not watching what my partner was doing more closely...

[fozziebear]

Originally Posted by mommies_2_be

She was definitely inside my uterus. The catheter was as far in as it could be. I feel mostly bloated. I also have some pain around my left ovary. Do you think an ultrasound would show the air bubbles? Would we have to pay out of pocket for it because it was essentially 'our fault'?

Still kicking myself for not watching what my partner was doing more closely...

You should definitely go to a doctor. I don't think the insurance would refuse to cover it -- health insurance isn't about "fault" like auto insurance is, after all. If you break your leg because you were doing something foolish like climbing up on a rickety ladder, insurance will still cover it! But even so, if this is something that could be life-threatening, you don't want to take that chance!

[smartycat]

Mommies 2 be, any updates today?

I really wouldn't worry about it. You should definitely take precautions to avoid getting air in the uterus, but a tiny bit of air really isn't a problem most of the time. Your midwife is right, that the concern is for an air emobolism... which is essentially an air bubble acting like a blood clot would. But generally you need a LOT of air and it would have to cross into your bloodstream to cause problems. I know tiny little air bubbles in IV lines aren't really a problem and probably the little air bubbles in the catheter shouldn't be an issue. And probably most of the extra air came out of your cervix immediately after. The air is not going to be trapped in your uterus like air in a balloon, the body will reabsorb it / redistribute it. I don't think you could see the tiny air bubbles on an ultrasound.

You know, come to think of it, if you have surgery (lets say on your uterus), then air will get in there and they don't vaccum it all out. The body just reabsorbs it. You can get air under your skin (subcutaneous emphysema) and I've never heard of that causing an air embolus.

I think you would have to get a whole lot of air with a whole lot of pressure for it to be a problem. Of course, my medical experience is not OB/Gyn, but I really just don't think it is a problem.

[smartycat]

Here is the Wikipedia entry for Air embolism

[cejae]

Wow - all the BFPs are great news! Congrats!!!

Hang in there Papa. Sadly, I so understand the roller coaster and the disappointment. When my partner was trying to conceive our first child it took 10 cycles, 9 rounds of insems and 1 miscarriage. Meanwhile, no joke, all of our friends who were trying to get pregnant around the same time (and there were a lot of us...something about getting our PhDs made us all ready to have babies!) were conceiving on the first try. It was so hard to be simultaneously thrilled for them and then to go home and cry, pout, be angry. When my best friend (who had been diagnosed with all sorts of infertility issues - PCOS, high FSH etc) called to say she was pregnant on the first try both of us laughed and cried at the absurdity of it all (in large part because on paper my partners numbers were *perfect*).

It got to the point where when our friends would start TTC we'd say they weren't going to have any problem, because simply knowing us was a good luck charm.

After several months of this we started to give ourselves a reward as a couple every time we got a BFN - dinner out, a trip to the beach, new placemats. Little stuff. It was just nice to have something to look forward too.

All that is to say, hang in there and you aren't alone.

CJ

[FtMPapa]

I'm with SmartyCat. If you're really worried about it, go swimming and go upside down underwater and see if the bubbles come up. Alternately, do a huge queef.

Any cramps and other things you might be feeling could be from the inexpertly performed IUI or from ovulation itself, because that should have been happening right in the same time frame.

Thanks, everyone for the e-hugs and other support. I'm still feeling delicate, but I think things are going to go better.

I so frustrated with the fact that it's been two freakin' years since I started this whole thing! A few more months, I can hang in there a few more months.

[KnittingTigers]

mommies 2 be-
i definitely had a few air bubbles in the uterus during a couple of my (at-home) IUIs. if you're in pain, go to the doctor. otherwise, don't sweat it. and some cramping after an IUI is totally normal...

[mizsatisfied]

wow, this is helpful discussion, thanks.
DP and I have been talking about trying at home IUI for a little while but she was super freaked by the air bubble thing. good to know other folks think it's probably not gonna make you drop dead.

[indigoscot]

we have our cd13 follicle check tomorrow morning first thing! not sure what to expect as the monitor is still on low fertility and dp only has watery cm. i'll report in as soon as i'm online again. i think our re's office will do estradiol and lh bloodwork.

g

[wishin'&hopin']

Af

Af

[CrunchySmurf]

Congrats on all the BFP's! That is awesome news. :

I'm sorry for all of you that didn't get the news you were hoping for this month.

I am really stressing here. I'm on CD 35, with a probable (temp, CM, +opk) O on CD 23. My average LP is 14 days with the max being 15. So a still MIA AF isn't totally outside the norm. But I am concerned about having such a long cycle. I am so concerned that my PCOS is knocking my out of whack. And I realize that stressing about it has a good chance of making it worse. But I am totally obsessing. And now I'm sick on top of it (maybe flu), so of course I'm stressing that being sick is going to mess things up too.

Sigh.

[giggleblue]

Originally Posted by AngelaM

mommies 2 be-
i definitely had a few air bubbles in the uterus during a couple of my (at-home) IUIs. if you're in pain, go to the doctor. otherwise, don't sweat it. and some cramping after an IUI is totally normal...

:

we had the same. please, to anyone who is considering doing home iuis remember to keep everything sterile and to make sure to work out as many air bubbles as possible. working the air bubbles out takes time but rushing isn't worth the risk!!

we used a metal tray that was sterilized to keep all the supplies on during the insemination, made sure our speculum was sterilized, and did plenty of hand washing and glove wearing.

[giggleblue]

i'm sorry wishin'&hopin'

[smartycat]

Originally Posted by wishin'&hopin'

Af

Booo... :

I'm so sorry you guys

[hopefulmommy04]

Hi! I haven't been on these boards forever! Crazy how real life gets in the way of the internet huh?!

But I am so excited because I just had my very first IUI this morning! I got the positive OPK last night and went to the clinic today for an 11 am appointment. We were so...emotional/anxious/excited/nervous/shocked that it finally happened. It was a bit anti-climatic, I was hoping to feel different with spermies swimming around inside me for the first time! lol. We were going to do 2 IUI's, but since I surged Saturday night I felt that a Monday morning IUI would be on the tail end and we decided to just save the money for now and do one.

And now it's time to wait and I don't know HOW to wait! I've signed up for yoga class and hopefully that will help a bit. I don't know how to get through each day...Our 1 year wedding anniversary is on April 8th, and I should be either getting my period or not around April 6th... We're trying to stay positive and feel so hopeful but it's terrifying at the same time. I know you know how I feel!

It's hard because even with a very supportive group of family and friends I still don't feel like they fully understand how huge this is. They keep saying things like, "it's millions of sperm! you'll be pregnant no problem!" and I know they are excited and trying to help but I also want to convince myself that if it doesn't work this time, we'll just try again and hope for the best.

So that's my update for now!