everything is crashing down, please help me get my positive energy back-baby due any minute!

[coloradomama1]

after a wonderful winter and pregnancy, the last 2 weeks has been really tough. here goes, TIA for reading and hearing me out...

-dp went back to work at night which leaves me at home alone very preggo with a toddler for most of every day and night. he worked this schedule all through pregnancy #1 and for a long time after dd was born and it sucked. i can't even imagine what it't going to be like with a toddler and a newborn. all winter he worked "normal" hours and it was bliss, we had dinner together every night and were in bed by 9 or 10, it was wonderful.

-after driving into the mtns. for a hike on saturday to see if we could get get labor going, my car blew up on the way home...found out today it's a $2000 fix. it's an older volvo only worth about $4000 if that so we're pretty much screwed there. could sell it for parts and finish paying my loan but then we'd have to buy another car. could go without but i'd feel really stranded not even being able to ride my bike around town since i'd have a newborn.

-dp has decided to completely freak out about having a 2nd baby and express this by spending money we don't have, having too many beers at the bar and lying about it and generally just being a jerk. he did this when dc#1 was born too-it's all really immature and hurts my feelings because it feels like he just doesn't really care sometimes.

i'm done being negative about everything because i realize i'm in a downward spiral of manifesting bad circumstances here so please, please help me pull out of my funk before i go into labor. we have put a ton of effort and energy into having a hb this time around and don't want to go into labor with this kind of attitude surrounding me. i am really so excited about our hb and if i had had the baby 2 weeks ago when i was rested and happy i feel like i would've been better off. now i just feel worn out from round the clock toddler care and exhausted from worrying about my relationship and money. btw-i'm due TODAY!!!!
amy

[mom2p.m.]

sorry about all the stressers just wanted to send you a hug and say I hope it gets better soon. And I hope you have a wonderful hb

[joyfulgrrrl]

That sucks mama, sounds like you and DP need a date night where you can talk about this stuff. Hang in there

[Goniopal]

Sounds like you have a few stressors in your life right now!
One thing that I do when there are too many things pulling me down is to focus on my little one. Somehow that does seem to make it better. What I do is
- don't turn on the tv- unless we are watching one of his tapes and talking about it while it is on,
-don't plan on doing any chores- unless we do them together, like putting the laundry in the machine together
-play with his toys on his level (or up on his bed to compensate for the belly!)
-do a lot of talking about things in his life, understanding what the new baby will bring, etc.
-read books and tell stories

I find that he gives cuddles and hugs, and feels calm, in touch, understood- and that makes for a better, easier day of kid care! And it reminds me about the joys of being a mom, which truly are many, even when money is stressful and partners are freaking out. At the end, you have YOU, and you have the ability to make the little one you have feel secure and loved. And that can really be a lot! Sometimes an outward focus puts it a bit in perspective.

And then, when she is napping, you can do what you need to do, take care of yourself, or sleep, too!

I hope this helps! Although the attitude ebbs and flows, strength is constant, and you already know you have that!

[coloradomama1]

thanks for the replies ladies, i realize that my hormones are a bit out of control and things that i could take in stride or deal with separately are overwhelming me because they're happening all at once. it's really important to me to be in a positive state of mind and have everything a-ok with dp when the time comes, i think at a hb the energy is that much more tangible since it's where you live and the vibe of the family will permeate the birth experience.
thank you, thank you, thank you for the reminder to really remember my LO that is right in front of me and enjoy my last few days alone with her and to make her feel special to get through these long days with no help.

keep em coming!

[Conchobhar]

[galincognito]

[Jenaka]

Hang in there! I hope you can find some time just for yourself right now before your world gets turned upside down again. Sending you some positive energy and birthing vibes!

[MomtotheMAX]

Amy, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now, but thank you so much for posting your message. I actually came on here thinking of posting a very similar message--financial issues, extremely overwhelmed by the prospect of adding to my already full house, preparing for our first homebirth, a not-so-supportive DH. I'm tired of crying every day and thought venting would help, but somehow reading your message strengthened me, knowing that I'm not the only one dealing with less than ideal circumstances.

Also, the encouraging message from Goniopal was awesome! I've always heard when you are depressed or negative, going outward and doing something for someone else is the way out, but it is hard to see that when you are in the middle of it all.

Amy, I hope today is much better for you and that you can soak up all the love from your LO and be totally prepared for a loving, peaceful homebirth when the time arrives.

[lila2801]

I'm sorry, please feel free to vent here. I know my pg hormones lately have been getting the best of me lately.