Help . . . she hated the bottle!!!

[Erin082]

I have just recently started to leave my 11 week old with dad and big sis(14) for extended periods of time. I breastfeed before leaving and leave her with several bottles of pumped breastmilk. I have a new part time job in the evenings, so this is going to be a regular occurance. I also attend classs at night. She HATES the bottle. I mean HATES it. She screams and screams (they tell me) the other day I had exams and was gone about four hours. She breastfeeds on demand, usually every two hours or so, sometimes more often, sometimes less. Well, she didn't eat at all in the four hours I was gone. She did nurse hungrily immediately upon my return. The previous night, she took a bottle from daddy, but it took about an hour or so for her to latch on to it, during which time she fussed nonstop. I really dont know what to do here. I have to work right now, since df has been layed off and doesnt know when he'll find work. The classes are less concerning, because they are for a shorter time frame, sio its possible that if I nurse before and after, she wont need a bottle. But HELP. Anyone else been there??? andy advice?? This breaks my heart. Its hard enough leaving her at all. I need to know shes okay whenI cant be there.

[Romana]

I had to leave both my babies to work full-time at 8 weeks old. Fortunately, they were with their daddy, who is a SAHD, but as a breastfeeding mother/infant it's hard. Both times I intended to introduce the bottle the way you're supposed to, at 3-4 weeks and do one bottle feeding a day. However, emotionally that was just too hard for me, so both babies had to go cold turkey.

My daughter was much more difficult to switch over so I'll focus on her. First, we had to try a ton of different bottles/nipples. Both kids ended up liking Avent the best. Avent has BPA-free bottles now, or you can use the Tempo system they have which uses disposable liners. For whatever reason, despite trying more than 10 different bottles/nipples, these were the only ones my babies were willing to accept.

My husband also had to bring my daughter to work several times in the first week because she simply refused to take from the bottle and he couldn't let her go all day without eating. If you're not taking an exam and the baby is truly distraught during this adjustment period, can your husband bring the baby to you just once or twice?

You can also deliver milk in other ways. It's early for cup feeding, but some people feed the baby using a spoon or dropper. If you're really desperate and the bottle isn't working, you can always do this.

Also, a 3 month old should be able to go 4 hours without eating. Both of my babies started reverse cycling when I went back to work - meaning they would eat much less during the day and wake frequently during the night to nurse.

I would suggest patience on everyone's part and efforts to soothe the baby that both do and do not involve the bottle. Does the baby use a pacifier? We don't use pacis, so I understand if you haven't done this, but perhaps part of the problem (since this is a relatively short separation at about 4 hours) is that the baby isn't used to being soothed by your husband and her big sister, and everyone just needs to adjust to the new situation. Not sure if that's the case without more details.

Don't worry - it's going to work out. Even if they have to dropper or spoon-feed. But I don't think that will be necessary. Even with my daughter who was difficult to transition to having a bottle while I was gone, it was only 2-3 weeks before all the kinks were worked out. Your husband and daughter can take care of the baby for a few hours while you work or go to school - everyone just needs to work at it a little and get used to the new arrangement.

I know how hard it is!

[kentuckyfriedgirl]

As the previous poster suggested you should try different bottles and nipples.

At 10 weeks my DD wouldn't take a bottle - and like your baby she would scream if anyone tried to give her one. At first my DH would have to swaddle DD, lay her on her side and run the hairdryer to get her to take the bottle. That worked but was a nuisance.

However, it was suggested to me to try different bottles so I got some new bottles called Soothie. DD took those easily. The nipple is supposedly shaped more like a human nipple and is softer than some of the other bottles.

Read some reviews on Amazon of the different bottles, many reviewers note that their baby would take one bottle type but not another.

[major_mama11]

I had to go back to school PT when DD was 9 weeks. I used the Avent bottles and she completely refused them, even though I was gone for 5-6 hours each time. Looking back, I wish I would have experimented more with different bottle types early on. We just happened to find out at 9 mos that she loved these cheap-o nipples with nubby little bumps on them that we got somewhere. Not sure why- they were about as un-breast-like as you can get.

Anyway, she ended up reverse cycling when I was gone up until we finally discovered the nipple she would take. She would take maybe a couple ounces from the bottle during the day, and nurse non-stop all evening and night. Not ideal, but she did get enough to stay well-nourished.

[mclisa]

Sounds like my second. I worked 12 hour night shifts and she would whimper the entire time for DH.

Here's the trick: feed her before she is awake. When it looks like she might be waking up soon, heat the bottle up and start feeding her. She'll be more accepting of it while still sleepy than once she is awake.

It worked for us!

[jchatneuff]

Oh, if only there were an easy answer!! My son is now 11 months. At 4 months, just before I started back to work, he started refusing the bottle. He would go the whole 8 hours at daycare with only drinking an ounce or two. It is very stressful when you're worried about your little one the whole time you're away!

I agree, though, that 4 hours without nursing, while maybe not ideal, should not be detrimental to an 11 week old. Plenty of babies that age sleep a 4-5 hour stretch without nursing. As for bottle types, I confess we never did find one that our LO would accept, and nor were our attempts at cup or dropper feeding successful. (I just had to rearrange my schedule and make it work to nurse him.) However, for what it's worth, we did see a specialist who recommended the circo brand bottle (sold at target); she said it was the most like a real nipple.

[PiePie]

Have DH continue to tinker with mode of delivery. For my DD, it had to be just the right temp (different from the temp it comes out as) for her to accept a bottle. It took like 2 weeks to figure that out. For a friend's DD2, she would only take a bottle in a sling in the belly-to-belly position. Many people advise trying different bottles too. Have faith that it will work out.

[morganlefay]

Been there . . DD refused to take a bottle for so long, and when she finally did, she would still drink only about an ounce at a time. What kind of bottle are you using? I had better luck getting DD to take the First Years Breastflow bottle from the babysitter. She still didn't like it, but she wouldn't even try any other type of bottle. Also, she preferred it if you kind of smushed it against her face (but not covering her nose). And it had to be the right temperature--it seemed like she liked it warmer than seemed right to me (but not hot, obviously). Hang in there. Your LO will eventually learn to get what she needs or go without until you return.