Facing the 'I' Word

[lila2801]

My due date is Thursday, I just know my doc will bring up inducing. She's told me she won't let me go past 41 weeks. The thing is I had started charting and I know my EDD should really be 3/10. Our u/s at 10 weeks supported the 3/10 date but but my EDD wasn't adjusted because it's less than a week difference. If I had realized what would have happened I would have lied about my LMP and given baby more time to come on their own.

It's definitely not the birth I want and although I know baby has plenty of time to do his/her thing but I really don't want the hassle of standing my ground on this with my doc. Ofcourse I want to meet my baby already but I know my baby will decide when they're ready.

So I guess WWYD if you were in this situation? How long would you wait before trying to kick things off yourself before facing the pitocin and crap? I had Thai this weekend, dtd, Indian yesterday, acupuncture yesterday as well but no mucus plug, no BH, a couple contractions yesterday after the acupuncture but nothing substantial

Sorry this turned into such a long vent. I'm just getting frustrated and emotional. Maybe DH will be convinced of a HB the next time around and I won't have to deal with this....

[CookAMH]

I would keep canceling the induction . They can't make you come in.

[Multimomma]

Originally Posted by lila2801

My due date is Thursday, I just know my doc will bring up inducing. She's told me she won't let me go past 41 weeks.

Why won't she 'let' you go past 41 weeks?

Personally I'd ask for a paper copy of her medical model...stating that induction at 41 weeks is appropriate.

I know it's a PITA to stand your ground, but typically interventions lead to more interventions, and if your body isn't ready and she induces, you're more likely to need larger amts of pitocin, then painkillers, then you're stuck in bed on your back, and baby doesn't descend, then you're having a csection. At which point you'll be fighting for every pregnancy you have after that. It's exactly how my first turned out, and it has become a nightmare being pregnant and delivering.

[lila2801]

yeah multimomman that's exactly why I don't want the induction. Her only stance is stillborn births are higher after 41 weeks and there are no advantages to letting baby cook longer.

[mom2tatum]

Originally Posted by Multimomma

Why won't she 'let' you go past 41 weeks?

Personally I'd ask for a paper copy of her medical model...stating that induction at 41 weeks is appropriate.

I know it's a PITA to stand your ground, but typically interventions lead to more interventions, and if your body isn't ready and she induces, you're more likely to need larger amts of pitocin, then painkillers, then you're stuck in bed on your back, and baby doesn't descend, then you're having a csection. At which point you'll be fighting for every pregnancy you have after that. It's exactly how my first turned out, and it has become a nightmare being pregnant and delivering.

Yeah to the that on all this. Exactly. "Let" you? Where do these docs get off freekin deciding what the hell happens to our bodies? And its not like she discussed appropriateness at all with you, she clearly wants you to know she's calling the shots and you have no control over it. What an ass. But typical, unfortunately.

I'd say, "I'm not going to "let" you or anyone induce me. period. Unless I've decided its best for me, at a gestation I'm comfortable with, and by a method I am comfortable with."

She cannot legally drop you at this point, and even if she tells you she will...oh well...then you wait till labor begins and go to the hospital. They are not going to refuse you...and you'll be getting a better outcome FOR SURE!!!! Do NOT let her bully you. This is like the most important thing a first time mom needs to stand her ground on. The MOST.

[earthymama4]

Originally Posted by Multimomma

Why won't she 'let' you go past 41 weeks?

Personally I'd ask for a paper copy of her medical model...stating that induction at 41 weeks is appropriate.

I know it's a PITA to stand your ground, but typically interventions lead to more interventions, and if your body isn't ready and she induces, you're more likely to need larger amts of pitocin, then painkillers, then you're stuck in bed on your back, and baby doesn't descend, then you're having a csection. At which point you'll be fighting for every pregnancy you have after that. It's exactly how my first turned out, and it has become a nightmare being pregnant and delivering.

:::::::::y eah::

[SeekingMyZen]

It's pretty obvious that you know what you want for your baby, and that is not an induction at this time.

If I were you, I would certainly hold my ground, just tell her you don't feel an induction is right for you right now, if you change your mind you will let her know. I understand not wanting to deal with the stress of having to hold your own in the face of an "authority figure" and if it were me I would just simply state my decision and if she pushed the issue further I'd simply leave the room and have DH deal with it. DH should be informed in the decision as well, and, well at least with me, part of DH's job description as my husband and father of this baby to be our guardian/protector.. you don't need any unneeded stress, esp right now. And you don't need to be bullied around when you've already made an informed level headed decision.

[Jacksonmom]

:

Originally Posted by mom2tatum

I'd say, "I'm not going to "let" you or anyone induce me. period. Unless I've decided its best for me, at a gestation I'm comfortable with, and by a method I am comfortable with."

Yep. :

[nuwavemomma]

I wouldn't allow an induction at 41 weeks, especially when by your own charts you would not even be 41 weeks. It's worth fighting over IMO.

[JJ'sMom]

You can tell her you will be happy to discuss an induction at 41 weeks, based on the ultrasound due date, when you come in for your 41 week appointment.

After all, if the baby does not come out by then, you can discuss it and still refuse, and you have put her off and looked compliant and then she is more comfortable in her role too and thus less likely to hassle you.

Good luck.

[L&K'smommie]

I agree with all the mommas here...fight for it and don't give in. And have your dh come with you so you aren't facing her alone.

And how would you feel about offering to come in for NST's and such after 41 weeks? They may ask you to do that, but I don't know much about how accurate all the testing is that they do later on.

[giggleblue]

i don't know about this "let" crap. she is providing YOU a service that YOU are paying for (rather it be through insurance premiums or through your prior tax dollars if you are on medicaid), not the other way around.

you don't have to show up for the induction. they can't come to your house and drag you out and make you get induced.

if you are uncomfortable with telling her "no" (i understand some people don't like confrontation, ect.) then on the morning of said scheduled induction, call her office and tell her you don't feel well enough for the induction today - you will call and reschedule for another time. if it's anything like my ex-ob's office (i switched to a midwife at like 31 weeks) you can tell the receptionist that message and be done with it - it's not like the doctor herself is answering the phone.

you have to take charge of YOUR birth, the birth of YOUR child, the birth YOU are paying for. we wouldn't tollerate this level of customer service from Target or Kroger or anywhere else we choose to spend our money, so why do we tolerate it from doctors???

[liliaceae]

I wouldn't even consider an induction until 42 weeks, as long as the baby is doing well. Having you talked to her about getting NSTs after your due date?

[joyfulgrrrl]

Originally Posted by L&K'smommie

I agree with all the mommas here...fight for it and don't give in. And have your dh come with you so you aren't facing her alone.

And how would you feel about offering to come in for NST's and such after 41 weeks? They may ask you to do that, but I don't know much about how accurate all the testing is that they do later on.

YES YES YES to having someone come with you - your doula would be a good choice as well.

And I was going to suggest offering NST's as well. They can't bully you if babe is happy on the inside. Hang in there mama!

[lila2801]

Ok I had my appt. I thought I did decent standing up for myself but I do wish DH would see things the same way. He thinks I'm just trying to be 'all granola' and willing to endanger our child just for a NCB.

Right now I'm 2cm and 50% effaced. My doc wants an u/s on Friday to make sure fluid levels and HB are ok. If either is low then that means inducing right then.

She scheduled an induction for a week from Friday. She wouldn't adjust my due date but I do have an 'extra' 2 days. Argh it's all just so aggravating, if I had realized this kind of deadline my LO would have been under I would have totally lied about my LMP and then I wouldn't have as big of a problem with the time frame.

At this point I'm willing to whatever necessary in order to avoid a medical induction. Does castor oil really work? I keep reading conflicting information. What about nipple stimulation? I've been taking EPO orally but not vaginally.

It's just so frustrating.

[freestyler]

Endangering your child?? That is a load of crap! You are only endangering your child (and yourself) by letting people start pulling interventions on you---especially interventions that are TOTALLY unnecessary and more often than not lead to c-sections. You did awesome to keep saying NO! Your baby possesses all the wisdom and intelligence to be born when perfectly ready. Do NOT let them do an u/s or induce or anything at all.

A question you might want to ask yourself: Do you REALLY want this scareprovider at your birth?? Can you stand the thought of someone like her causing problems for you and your babe? ?? Does it occur to you that your babe might not want to be born until you are in safer and better hands? I am convinced that babies have a wisdom about these things. If Mamma does not feel safe, Baby might stay put until you DO feel safe.

If I were you, I would at the very least not go NEAR that doc until you are in full-blown labor and ready to push. Go to the birthing place (hospital?) as late as possible. I would not go to a single appointment until then. You are NOT NOT NOT endangering your baby!! And I would seriously consider switching docs at this point. Yes, you definitely CAN, unless you live in the styx and she is the only OB within 600 miles. And then you could just OOPS not make it to the hospital until you are pushing! Anyway, switch docs!!

When I was pregnant with my second, I had a really terrible midwife, really awful. She was really incompetent. Anyway, when I was 41 weeks, I got SO fed up, and was so worried about having an incompetent birth attendant, that I just walked into another OB office, right off the street, and asked if they could take me as a new patient. I got one of the most WONDERFUL OBs ever! She helped deliver my son three days later. It was a fantastic birth---although he was in a tricky position, and we did need ALL of the skill and expertise of this new OB to help him out! I am convinced that he did not want to come out until he felt it was safe to do so.

Also, all of my babes (except number 5) were born at 41 weeks and 3 days. It is totally normal, because remember that the range of normal is 38 to 42 weeks. 42 weeks is still a NORMAL pregnancy!! Everyone seems to forget that----every scareprovider, I mean! Your baby will come when he or she is ready, and when he or she feels safe. That is, when YOU feel safe and comfortable. We are like other mammals, in the sense that the birthing process tends to not move forward if we feel threatened or in any way stressed. In any case, as you said, your baby is not due for a little bit yet, and besides, those babes are NOT watching the calendar! They are busy growing theirs lungs and other vital things to perfection.

Please do yourselves a favor and stay away from that OB, permanently if possible. If you can't or won't switch right not, at least be firm and stand your ground, and keep syaing (or shouting!) NO!

[GoddessJ]

I have read that taking Clary Sage oil can help...but make sure that you get a therapeutic grade. You can also rub it on your feet and ankles.

Nipple Stimulation and Orgasms are highly recommended and usually bring on contractions for me.

Good Luck!

[mom2tatum]

I have a feeling you are going to go into labor soon anyway...however, what if you don't? That's what you need to focus on for you and baby's readiness...since you are already dilated a little, bringing on contractions through other means MAY help. Sometimes one can bring on all the contractions in the world, but it won't help open your cervix any. In your case, it MAY. Try it all. Nipple stim, sex and orgasm, EPO vaginally, and even possibly the castor oil - BUT AS A LAST RESORT, as it can make things uncomfortable for you and still not help if baby just isn't ready.

I agree that I would not go back...well, maybe if you think you could stand up to no induction at the u/s. They aren't going to want you to leave, just so you know. They plan on getting you to stay. And if you and/or dh can't stand up and say "no, we are absolutely not taking that advice at this time" then, I would NOT GO. You'd be setting yourself up = c section. I hope so badly that doesn't happen to you b/c of this doc. You'll blame yourself after and have regrets that won't ever go away...trust me, this has happened exactly like this to two of my very best friends. SHE CANNOT FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING. But, do you really want someone like this around you and your baby now, anyway? I don't know, I'd really consider calling around to some other docs in the area and explaining your concerns and fears and feelings with this one, and asking if they would give you more respectful and sensitive care/treatment. Its more important than you know. For labor, birth, and after birth care. This woman could end up negatively affecting your life as a mother. Sorry that sounds so dramatic. I really wish you the best. Talk to your dh...and explain your fears and the possible consequences...

[L&K'smommie]

Hugs mama!

First off I think you need to sit down with your dh and talk to him about it all. Without his support it will be hard on you especially during labor(and have him look at all the statistics as to how a NCB is FAR better than induction and so on). If he isn't willing to stand with you and support you in your decision now how is he going to do it at the hospital while you are in labor when the doc is trying to force something else on you? This is especially important if you don't have a doula or someone else who is going to be an advocate for you during labor.

Second, I have to agree with the pp...I would try and find someone new if you can. It might be hard last minute but it can make a world of difference in the end. If she is treating you like this now what will happen in labor? If you do stay with her I would consider not showing up at the hospital until the last possible moment so that you don't have things forced on you.

I hope all works out for you.