Would you WOH if you didn't have to? - Page 3

[samy23]

Originally Posted by Attached Mama

no way I'd keep a job I didn't have to - to me I keep bz all day long working at home w/o it being a separate paid job. I agree with the pp that my kids are the ultimate prize.

Totally agree! There's plenty of stuff around the home that could keep me occupied for a long time....just keeping up with the home chores seems never-ending and I only have one child! lol
I think after a while I might get bored with only doing house stuff though, so I would take up some hobbies!

I feel conflicted about working vs SAHM, I think it's setting a good example to the kids if they see you have a job, and it definately helps with you bringing in an extra income to contribute financially to the household, and it makes us feel good we are doing "our bit" etc...but at the same time working takes my time away from other stuff I could be doing that would benefit myself and my child -such as keeping on top of ALL the house chores, cooking from scratch a lot more -healthy, generally having more time to spend with my child.

[kalisis]

I'm not feeling particularly articulate tonight, but I don't *love* what I do nor do I make enough money, so for me, I'd take the money and run. I am only a WOH parent b/c I am a single mother. In my dreams, I was always a SAHM.

I did have a job I loved. That would have been a tougher choice, but at the end of the day, it was pretty inflexible re: my children and I'm not sure that it would have been *that* tough. As well, if I wasn't paying more than 50% of my wages out in childcare, we'd have been living really, really well. It was a good job, better than most, but ultimately, I'd stay home, hands down, if the option was there.

[kirstenb]

I don't love my job. There are things I like about working, but I would much rather stay home with my son. If I could get my monthly salary staying at home, I would do it. I could volunteer when they were all in school.

[EdnaMarie]

You couldn't work at ANY job, EVER? Not even another job when the kids are in school, or in college? No way. I still have a dream to write a book, to teach, to travel and work... sure, I would have quite the job I got laid off from, but not promise never to work again. No way. I had a really flexible job and I can envision getting or making another one for myself. I can also envision making a heck of a lot more than I made at my previous job!!! So, keeping that salary plus bonuses etc. might not be nearly what I could get in the future if I went into another field.

Why, I was just thinking of going back to college to become a science teacher... I would finish when the youngest was nearly old enough for pre-school if I took it easy.

[calpurnia]

i didn't vote - i am happiest when i am working, & although i am not working at the moment, i can't imagine never having a job again.

[madskye]

That's hard.

Work is a huge outlet for me. Sometimes I'd like to quit and just BE but most of the ladies that I know that SAH are not very happy or content. So I don't think that's the answer for me.

I'd love to live in a fantasy world, and take the $$ and travel for a year and do cool things--not so much just not work anymore.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by doctormom

I love my job, and I love that I have the flexibility to work part-time. I'd definitely keep the job.

If I had to choose between full-time work and the money...that's a much harder choice...
I think then I'd take the money...would the fairy godmother allow me to volunteer at a nonprofit?

Originally Posted by Murihiku

I'd say that for me children are the ultimate good but not the ultimate prize. I was lucky enough to conceive both my children the first time I tried, but I had to work hard for 12 years to get the job I have now.

I also believe that for me, choosing the job is choosing a happier and thus better mother for my children.

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

I have discovered that I am happiest if I have A job, but I'm not sure if I would keep THIS job given an offer like that. I would probably jump at offer and then commit to a regular volunteer/save the world sort of thing.

Originally Posted by BugMacGee

I might work less, but I'd remain employed.

I had someone tell me today, "What a great job you have!" And I do! :

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

If you could I'd take the money and then do something pretty darn close to what I do now, for fewer hours on my own projects.

Originally Posted by isfa

I respect your perspective, but I feel that I am setting a good example by working. Having working parents benefits kids, too.

Originally Posted by siobhang

Wow, so in your view, the decision is children vs working.

For many of us, that is not the break out. My work directly and indirectly supports my children. - my work is part of my care taking responsibilities for my family.

My working activities are a core part of my mothering identity - not a separate part of it.

Think about the common mainstream view that a father's income earning behavior is a core part of the definition of fatherhood (evidenced by the fact that when a father does not financially support his kids, it is commonly viewed that he is a failure as a father).

But the assumption is that core mothering behaviors do not include financially supporting the family, which is bizarre and contrary to most of human existence.

I think the false dichotomy for mothers between working (which is seen as something done for personal reasons) and childcare/nurturing (which is seen as mothering responsibilities) hurts mothers, hurts fathers, and hurts children. Most families do not have a choice about work.

I think a huge contributing factor is the structure of paid work - inflexible hours, inflexible location, a total separation of "home (where children are)" and "work (where adults are)", and other factors, all of which revolve around an ideal worker model being inherently male with a full time non-working spouse.

No wonder mothers get screwed on the deal, regardless of our "choice".

We are given crappy "choices and then blamed when those choices end up hurting us (because if we had the "choice", we have all the responsibility).

</vent>

But yeah, if someone is going to give me free money, I will take it.

Maybe I need to drink less caffeine in the afternoon.

:

You guys said exactly what I would say.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

You couldn't work at ANY job, EVER? Not even another job when the kids are in school, or in college? No way. I still have a dream to write a book, to teach, to travel and work... sure, I would have quite the job I got laid off from, but not promise never to work again. No way. I had a really flexible job and I can envision getting or making another one for myself. I can also envision making a heck of a lot more than I made at my previous job!!! So, keeping that salary plus bonuses etc. might not be nearly what I could get in the future if I went into another field.

:

I'm not going to be raising children forever. I love my children more than my job, but my job has merits of its own. I wouldn't want to give up a career entirely.

Originally Posted by siobhang

Wow, so in your view, the decision is children vs working.

For many of us, that is not the break out. My work directly and indirectly supports my children. - my work is part of my care taking responsibilities for my family.

My working activities are a core part of my mothering identity - not a separate part of it.

Think about the common mainstream view that a father's income earning behavior is a core part of the definition of fatherhood (evidenced by the fact that when a father does not financially support his kids, it is commonly viewed that he is a failure as a father).

But the assumption is that core mothering behaviors do not include financially supporting the family, which is bizarre and contrary to most of human existence.

I think the false dichotomy for mothers between working (which is seen as something done for personal reasons) and childcare/nurturing (which is seen as mothering responsibilities) hurts mothers, hurts fathers, and hurts children. Most families do not have a choice about work.

I think a huge contributing factor is the structure of paid work - inflexible hours, inflexible location, a total separation of "home (where children are)" and "work (where adults are)", and other factors, all of which revolve around an ideal worker model being inherently male with a full time non-working spouse.

No wonder mothers get screwed on the deal, regardless of our "choice".

We are given crappy "choices and then blamed when those choices end up hurting us (because if we had the "choice", we have all the responsibility).

</vent>

But yeah, if someone is going to give me free money, I will take it.

Maybe I need to drink less caffeine in the afternoon.

Thank you. Great post! :

[CityChic]

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

I have discovered that I am happiest if I have A job, but I'm not sure if I would keep THIS job given an offer like that. I would probably jump at offer and then commit to a regular volunteer/save the world sort of thing.

Well said.

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by major_mama11

Eh, I like my job well enough, and I feel fortunate to have it, but with a guarantee like that? I'd quit my job in a heartbeat.

No question. Unlimited time with my kid? Bye-bye job.