Help me, I finally admitted to myself that I hate to cook

[mamaheids]

I thought this probably belonged better here, since it really is an issue of time management, mindful use of food resources and my attitude towards a what I consider a "home manangement" task.
*Most* of my lousy attitude towards cooking comes from the extra mess it makes, I think. I know HOW to cook, and am actually pretty good at it when I work up the gumption to actually do it. I am by no means a super tidy person either. Cooking just exhausts me, frankly. I value nutritional content, the family value of meals eaten together, and really I need to be cooking because my DD is GFCF and DH on a cholesterol-reducing diet, and we are on a rather tight budget. I've tried to meal plan and when I do I end up throwing out old food because I don't actually make the foods I plan to- which is a huge waste of money (doubly, because we end up getting take-out/convenience) and a sad waste of good food. I have wonderful cookbooks, a box full of tried and true recipes from family and friends and every reason you could think of why I should be able to cook on a regular basis.
I am pregnant now (so extra exhausted, but no longer nauseous) but I experienced this denied loathe for cooking even before I got pregnant. I really like food too- which you think would translate to a love of cooking- but not for me.
I finally admitted to myself that I HATE cooking last week when I tried a beef stew recipe that I had been meaning to try for quite some time. I had committed to bringing a meal to a friend who just had a baby- so that is the what gave me the kick in the butt to actually cook something. I did it- but it took a lot of time, and it turned out delicious with lots of leftovers. But I couldn't appreciate it at all because of the disaster it made my very small kitchen and how many other things I know I could have accomplished instead. I really got resentful about it. (Not resentful of providing a meal for my friend, just the cooking process. I would have much rather knit her baby something or babysat her older DD.)
So really- this is a rant. Can anyone identify? How do I deal with this? How do I deal with the guilt. I'm sad because I wish I didn't mind cooking so much. But I just do. Help. I don't really have a choice, I have to cook, but I need a different angle of approach- and maybe some new ideas on how to make it easier on me.

[CCJWGM]

No suggestions just

You are not alone!!!! I hate to cook and yet have my family on a whole foods based organic GFCF and soy free diet. I personally feel like I'm always in the kitchen. Plus, we have a teeny kitchen and no dishwasher which doesn't help.

Luckily for me, DH loves to cook. I hijack him when he isn't working and he happily cooks away. Sometimes I have him make things we can freeze. I always try to make extras and freeze them too so I can have lazy cooking days. I have found with certain items, like homemade enchiladas, making 3 batches is the same effort as making one.

Plus, you already reached the first step in Hate to Cook Anonymous - admitting it.

[Murihiku]

I don't mind the cooking so much as I hate the planning around it!

Coul you have this meal one night a week: cut-up raw vegetables with pita (for the adults) and some hummus or tzatziki from the supermarket with some berries and dark chocolate afterwards? Almost nothing to do there, plus it's healthy, plus it's yummy! (Especially with a glass of wine )

[Purple Sage]

I also hate to cook. I've always hated to cook. I'm not good at it, it stresses me out, and the end product is always disappointing. I try not to feel bad about, but I do feel guilty sometimes. DH has a culinary degree and cooks for a living, so I hate that he has to cook at home, too. I'm trying to get a collection of easy recipes that I can't totally screw up so that I can contribute more to the cooking duties around here. It's slow going, though, because I'm just such a terrible cook.

On the other hand, I do like to bake. How that makes sense, I don't know. I can handle measuring precise amounts and baking in the oven at a precise temperature for a precise amount of time. Maybe if I found more recipes that were more like baking then I'd be a better cook.

And I also don't mind cleaning up. I'd much rather clean up after DH than cook something myself.

[Ellien C]

I can totally identify. I think my mother taught all 3 of her daughters to hate the kitchen! I use a "meal makers" type of service that I absolutely love. I can put whatever I want in the dishes, they come home in throw away foil containers, in the oven they go and in the trash when they are done. I know this kind of use of disposables isn't to be lauded, but you do what ya gotta do, especially when preggers. It won't be this way forever.

[ABrez]

I love to cook but hate the mess also. Have you tried to 'clean as you go'? That always works well for me. And I always start cooking in a spotless kitchen. That helps too. Or maybe get your partner to agree to clean if you cook?

Also don't be afraid to use shortcuts. Want fresh broccoli? Go to the salad bar and get the freshly washed/ chopped broccoli from there. It's more expensive than doing it yourself but cheaper than getting take out. Also if something calls for a list of ingredients I measure them all out before I start cooking then put them away. Then I just have a bunch of little bowls to throw in the dishwasher.

Hope it helps a little. Good luck!

[IncaMama]

pft. i have no guilt about hating to cook. why should i have to like it? i mean, really? why? i don't get it. i was socialized to believe that i should be a good cook, that i should like it, that i should do it every day for my family. but that's asinine, frankly. it took me a while to get to that realization, but boy is it liberating.

my son is GF and about to start GFCF. he also has multiple other food allergies that make it important that i do a lot of things from scratch rather than processed.

so, i cook. i don't cook well, and i don't cook daily. and i don't cook really creative things. but really, i just cannot get worked up about the fact that i don't like it. sure, sometimes i feel badly about the results of it like the OP was talking about (the waste of food and the purchase of take out, etc) but not because of my dislike of cooking, kwim?

i just absolutely refuse to believe in the socialized message i was pummeled with (and am still pummeled with) that says i have to take pleasure in cooking for my family. absolutely refuse. i'll do it because i have to, but i ain't gonna like it. and i don't have to like it, dangit!!

[CCJWGM]

I should have stated earlier that yes, I hate to cook but I do LOVE to bake. Love love love. But unfortunately high altitude gluten free baking is alluding my skills. :

[dbsam]

I can't help you because I've also decided I hate cooking; although I love the idea of cooking. Like pp's, I buy great food, have access to recipes, all the kitchen equipment, etc...but I don't like it at all and sometimes stall causing us to eat too late or decide to throw together something quick and easy wasting the ingredients I planned to use. I used to like baking but no longer like that either. I would rather clean, do laundry, cut grass...anything but cook. Growing up my father did all the menu planning, shopping and cooking in our house. My mother cleaned the kitchen when he was done. Unfortunately, my husband is clueless in the kitchen. (My brother is just like my dad and loves cooking.)

[becoming]

I'm right there with you. I wouldn't say I HATE to cook, but it's definitely not one of my favorite things to do. I'm trying to change my attitude about it, though. Here are some tips:

-Prep any ingredients you can earlier in the day or the day before. I cut up all my veggies and prep my meat for supper, and maybe make a sauce or something depending on the day, while my kids are eating breakfast or lunch. The less things you have to do close to mealtime, the less overwhelmed you'll feel. If you're doing a stir fry, it's much better to be thinking, "I have to cook the chicken and veggies together" than "I have to wash and chop all those veggies, cut up the chicken, and then cook it all."

-If you have a dishwasher, make sure it is unloaded and ready for dirty dishes before you start cooking. That way when you get done with a dish, you can stick it in the dishwasher and not have it in the way or cluttering up your counter anymore.

-Get all your ingredients out before you begin. Immediately after you use an ingredient, put it back where it goes. Don't even set it down after you use it. Use it, then put it up while it's still in your hand. This cuts down sooo much on the kitchen disaster.

-Before you fix everyone's plates, wipe down your counters. That way you're not dreading the massive clean-up while you're eating.

-Find easier, less time-consuming recipes. This is a no-brainer, I know, but it's been crucial for me. I love this website: http://tammysrecipes.com - They are all super easy, fast, and delicious, and use only whole foods in nearly every recipe. She also has links to other awesome cooking blogs on her site.

[greenmom17]

Originally Posted by becoming

-Find easier, less time-consuming recipes. This is a no-brainer, I know, but it's been crucial for me. I love this website: http://tammysrecipes.com - They are all super easy, fast, and delicious, and use only whole foods in nearly every recipe. She also has links to other awesome cooking blogs on her site.

I just stumbled across tammysrecipes.com a few weeks ago and I love it! So simple - the recipes really are delicious.

btw, I also hate to cook and love to bake....

[Minerva]

I'm going to second cleaning as you go. It's the single best tip for dealing with cooking.

Start with a clean counter and an empty dishwasher. Put things away the second you're done with that particular ingredient. Wipe up spills when they happen. Put dirty pots and utensils directly into the dishwasher when you finish with them -- do not stop at the sink! If you're standing around waiting for something to cook that doesn't need constant stirring, find something to clean up while you're waiting.

Trust me, it's the best thing. I impressed my husband over the holidays. He thought there was going to be a big mess in the kitchen after, and the only things needing cleaning were what was on the table. Everything else was either washed up, wiped up, or in the dishwasher.



My other big tip is to use the same ingredients in several recipes for the week, and recycle leftover food. You can buy a bunch of veggies for a roast one night, take all the leftovers from that and make a pot pie the next night, and if there's anything left, the third night you make soup. This cuts way down on prep time and wasted food. If you don't want to eat the same thing several days running, label the leftovers and put them into the freezer for a quick meal the following week.

Another example: I grilled up 5+ lbs of chicken in Mexican spices a couple of weeks ago. We ate some of it with rice and veg right away. I took half of what was left of the chicken and all the leftover veg to use for spicy chicken in a biscuit the next night. Leftover rice turned into rice pudding. The husband took leftover chicken in a biscuit for lunch the following day. The remaining chicken went into the freezer, which I'm taking out now to use with sauteed chiles and onions for chicken fajitas tomorrow. In the unlikely event of further leftovers, I'll be making chicken taco soup or a nacho platter the day after. That's 3+ meals from one round of chicken.

[kirstenb]

One thing I do is double recipes and put half in the freezer. I don't always like to cook (and I hate the mess) and I am trying to get away from going out on days where no one wants to cook. That way on a day where we don't want to cook we can just pull something already made out of the freezer and heat it up.

I also recommend cleaning as you go- it makes a big difference to me. I hate cooking when there is a mess on the counter.

[Ironica]

Originally Posted by Murihiku

Coul you have this meal one night a week: cut-up raw vegetables with pita (for the adults) and some hummus or tzatziki from the supermarket with some berries and dark chocolate afterwards?

GFCF means gluten-free, casein-free... so, wheat&c.-free, dairy-free. My pita-and-tzadziki-missing self thought you might have missed that part of the OP. (And if anyone knows of a good GF pita, that also happens to be free of soy, corn, canola, and sorghum, please let me know.)

Originally Posted by beezer75

I should have stated earlier that yes, I hate to cook but I do LOVE to bake. Love love love. But unfortunately high altitude gluten free baking is alluding my skills. :

Get thee to the Goddess... glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com. Karina is at high altitude, and GFCF (among other things). I have to adapt her recipes to lowlands baking ;-).

[becoming]

Oh, if I'm not mistaken, this website's recipes are all gluten-free:

crockpot365.blogspot.com

She cooked 365 recipes in her crockpot(s) last year, one for each day of the year. Really neat stuff there.

[doctormom]

Originally Posted by becoming

Oh, if I'm not mistaken, this website's recipes are all gluten-free:

crockpot365.blogspot.com

She cooked 365 recipes in her crockpot(s) last year, one for each day of the year. Really neat stuff there.

I hate to cook. I love that website. We are also GFCF.

What I resent most about cooking is the assumption that it is my job to cook for everyone. DH looks at me expectantly whenever he or the kids get hungry and asks what we're having. He's a grown adult - can't he figure something out on his own?

Maybe I breastfed DS for 3 1/2 years because it was easier than planning meals, and I'm lazy?

[Adamsmama]

I used to hate cooking (but loved baking) ... the combintion og having some food intolerance/allergies and being on a strict budget helped me. I now love it b/c I know what is in everything I eat! I do get stressed around dinner making time w/kids running around the kitchen though, I prefer silence when I cook.

[gillibean]

I really enjoy cooking. What I have the biggest issue with is making salads. It seems that they're the things that are the most time consuming. What I do for cooking is to make as many one-pot meals as possible and use as few prep dishes as possible. When I make stew I'll start browning the beef in the pot. While that's going on I'll dice onions and garlic and add them. Then I peel and cube what else needs to be done (carrots/potatoes/turnips cabbage). I use the same peeler, knife and cutting board for everything. I add it all to the pot and add some spices and let it simmer for a couple hours. Cleaning up consists of throwing away the peelings and washing a peeler, knife and cutting board - maybe a bowl as well.

I refuse to make meals that are complicated and use a lot of ingredients. I'll make a meal like that a couple times a month but I just don't have time to do it on a regular basis. Honestly, my brain completely shuts off when a recipe has more than about 8 ingredients and more than about 5 steps. I don't measure any herbs or spices when I'm cooking things so there aren't any measuring spoons to wash. I use the same cutting board and knife for as many things as possible. I am careful about not using a 'meat' board for raw veggies but if the veggies are going to be cooked I use whatever board is out. I cut as many corners as I possibly can.

I also love cooking in the oven. I'll put the main dish in one baking dish, veggies in another and rice and water in a third one. (I like to make it worth the energy that the oven uses.) Put them all in the oven and let them bake. Depending on what you're cooking, you may have to wait to put one in so it doesn't overcook but that's not usually a big deal for me. I put the oven timer on, go do something else (or wash the prep dishes) and relax till it's done. One of our favourite meals consists of chicken (drumsticks or thighs - cheap) and diced turnips with salt and garlic for seasoning. (Honestly, I never knew that turnips could taste so good.) Put them all in a baking dish and bake it covered for a couple hours at 350. Cook some rice for the side (can be done in the oven or on the stove) and make a salad. Sometimes I'll add other things to the chicken/turnip mix like potatoes (in which case I don't make rice), carrots or sweet potatoes. For a real treat I'll make mashed potatoes - but that takes more time.

[mamaheids]

Thanks everyone for your replies! Yes- GFCF does put a damper on some things. The idea of a simple supper like pita/hummus/veg does sound great- but alas won't work in my house. I think I need to come up with some GFCF simple/no cook suppers like that. (And maybe my attitude toward cooking WOULD be softened if I was able to sip a little vino while cooking- but I'm preggo, so not right now!) Ironica- I don't know of a pita free of your allergens- sorry if I find one I'm be sure to let you know! I'm going to check out that crockpot site. That way I can prepare dinner earlier in the day when I have more energy. I do understand/appreciate that starting with a clean kitchen makes the whole cooking experience easier. (In my case it is necessary because the kitchen is so small.) That is most of my problem- by the time the kitchen is prepped for cooking I'm pooped! Hmmm...interesting that some of you who also hate to cook love to bake! I don't mind baking as much either? Not sure what that is about?
I'm a lucky gal tonight- my dear sweet neighbor is making chicken tortilla soup for tonight and has extras that she is bringing over for us! :
Oh and I'm totally laughing a out loud about the breastfeeding being easier than cooking part! I keep thinking about how much easier it was to just breastfeed DD than feed her real food. (And now she is of course picky too.)

[Sammsma]

I hate cooking, too. I hate the mess that it makes. I hate the fact that I cook for picky eaters who don't appreciate the time and effort it takes into planning a meal, shopping for that meal, cooking that meal and then cleaning up after that meal. I hate that I try to cook healthy, yet delicious meals, and all my two pickiest eaters want to eat is junk. My DH is one of the picky eaters in the house and although he works almost 70 hours a week, I still resent the fact that I am in charge of dinners around here. I can feel my blood pressure rise every day when he calls to say he's on his way home and asks what's for dinner, even when I have a plan or have already started dinner. I sound like such a bitter cranky person, but really I'm not. I'm just frustrated.