or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Tribe for pregnant and over 35?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Tribe for pregnant and over 35? - Page 11

post #201 of 437
I have questions for those of you that aren't planning on anymore children after this pregnancy.

are you planning to use birth control?
husband getting a V?
are you getting a tubal?

I can't decide what to do. The tubal sounds so final, plus I've seen many stories where women still got pregnant. Birth control always worked for me but I went off BC with hormones five years ago because they aren't good for me. I need to decide what to do before the time comes because if I do a tubal it needs to be done while I'm in the hospital so I don't have to go back and do it later.

And getting my DH to get a vasectomy is next to impossible. I have asked him to do it in the past and he wouldn't do it, so here we are pregnant and he is going on 50 and I'm over 40. We definitely don't want it to happen again.

I'd love to hear what others are thinking about doing.
post #202 of 437
my plans for BC after this child (which, now that it's a boy and i really wanted another girl, may not *necessarily* be the last child) is to do NFP on my end, avoiding intercourse during fertile times, combined with DH's very effective withdrawl method.

if we have an oops it won't be the end of the world, but my DH is going on 60! i have to be realistic as to what that means potentially, and that i could wind up being the one who has to put the kids through college (myself) someday. so two kids may be it for us. although three could also be in the cards possibly. but i will have to see how i do with two before i even go there.

that doesn't help you Darcy, though, since you are looking for definitive BC. i would not go on the pill or anything hormonal. i was on the pill in my 20s. ugh, can't see doing that again, especially this late in the game.

talked with a woman today who has an IUD. she seemed to be fine with it, although said she's not entirely confident that it will be effective.

what i like about pull out (if your husband is really reliable) is that in my experience it's very effective. and combining it with only doing it during your nonfertile time, i would think it would be even more effective.

and it's natural. and you (and your husband) are always in control.

what's not good is if he loses control (but i think men get a lot better at that as they get older, versus, say a 17 year old trying to "pull" in time). and also speaking just for myself at least when i was TTC, that fertile time is always my horniest, so restraining myself to totally avoid during fertile window would also potentially be a challenge.

enough about me. what are others planning to do???
post #203 of 437
Nothing I had not even given it a thought. My husband did mention a possible vasectomy but I hate the idea. It is so final. What if I did decide to have another? However, the reality is it took over 15 months to get pregnant with this one. I will be 44 the month after birth so yeah I'm guessing I'll be hitting menopause sometime while I am still nursing. That should be an interesting hormone party.

However, if I do well with 2 I hope that's not true as I would probably want 2 more. I don't like the idea of 3. I grew up with 3 and it was not good for the youngest (me). But I also have dysfunctional siblings so I realize my children might not experience the same issues. (Hopefully)
post #204 of 437
DH is having a vasectomy on Tuesday! He offered!
It's kind of weird but I'm glad too. Hopefully then by the time this pg is over, he will definitely have a zero count, lol, and we will have no worries!

Anyone doing yoga? I cut out yoga during the 1st tri, mostly because I was so sick, but restarted a pretty vigorous practice this week and it feels great except for bending forward deeply. It seems weird to me because my belly is tiny, not much there at all yet.

Right now I'm going out to run but taking it easy as it has been almost a week since the last one.

Have a great day!

Deb
post #205 of 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristin0105 View Post
I will be 44 the month after birth so yeah I'm guessing I'll be hitting menopause sometime while I am still nursing. That should be an interesting hormone party.
I'm thinking that was how I got pregnant this time. Maybe I'm pre-menopausal. I was having consistent periods but they were close together, only 20 days apart at the most from month to month and I never noticed that I ovulated. In fact, I know my body well and I don't remember ovulating for several years now. I have no idea how this baby came to be. I even remember my last AF right before conceiving this baby and it was extremely heavy. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital because I was bleeding so heavily and that has never happened before unless I was PP. And I swear I couldn't have ovulated around the time I conceived this baby. I always know when I ovulate, so perhaps being pre-menopausal covered up my usual symptoms of ovulation. I seriously went for almost 7 years and never got pregnant. I have no idea how we made it that long.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma
what i like about pull out (if your husband is really reliable) is that in my experience it's very effective. and combining it with only doing it during your nonfertile time, i would think it would be even more effective.
I like this idea and have tried it but DH and I get in the heat of the moment and oh well, you know the rest of that story I'm sure. That's not reliable for us.
post #206 of 437
I want to start yoga but nothing hard! I need to increase my flexibility. I am really strong I lift weights 3 days a week and do cardio and swim an hour 3 days a week. But my flexibility is poor so I'd like some nice, easy, stretching.
post #207 of 437
Hello--coming in late to the thread. I'm 40 (conceived a month after my birthday), due at the end of Sept.

This was not planned/expected (not a surprise, we knew it was theoretically possible!); took us over 2 months to conclude that it would be OK to raise this child. Still, I'm just wallowing in serious doubts about starting over w/a baby (wasn't my finest time, the 1st time round), just when we're just beginning to feel sane & grownup & able to cope w/life-with-kid and each other and feel like a family. Of course, not much to do now but hold on for the ride! Am hoping I get excited/less trepidatious (sp?) in the 3rd tri.

Am finding this pregnancy so much harder than my first: all sorts of terrifying warning signs that things may not be OK w/my body. Baby's fine, phew, but I'm really scared about my body's ability to do this now. Eek! Esp since this is our last chance (see below), I am soooo worried about this little girl.

As for after this: Snippy-snippy for my husband, for sure. He's game.
post #208 of 437
Hello Ladies!

I thought I'd try to get around to the different threads I post on to let you all know I had my baby and we're doing fine. While I planned a HBAC, I ended up with another c-section--but not for a lack of trying--so I'm pretty satisfied with what happened. Anyway, the hospital staff was surprisingly supportive and sensitive except for one of those baby-faced residents saying, "good for you, having a baby at 38!" I wonder if she wanted to suck that comment right back in after she realized how stupid that sounded. I had the baby at a teaching hospital, so it was a little disarming to see so many docs who were clearly in their mid-twenties (and they all used the word "awesome" more than an eighties-era valley girl). One of the residents was really sweet and said he'd see me the next time we have a baby (even after I said I wasn't so sure about doing this again).

Anyway, take care, and own your age with pride!
post #209 of 437
For after baby: We've had pretty good luck with condoms and NFP. All 3 pg were planned. I refuse to go back on hormonal bc, won't do a tubal, and don't feel good about IUDs. Dh isn't keen on the big V (working on wearing him down).... so we resort to our old faithful until such time as something gives.

catemom - congrats on your new arrival! :
post #210 of 437
big V planned over here
DH is recruting all of his friends to go with him
we are done and it feels good, as we await the arrival of our second and last child
post #211 of 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by cbhowell View Post
Hello--coming in late to the thread. I'm 40 (conceived a month after my birthday), due at the end of Sept.

This was not planned/expected (not a surprise, we knew it was theoretically possible!); took us over 2 months to conclude that it would be OK to raise this child. Still, I'm just wallowing in serious doubts about starting over w/a baby (wasn't my finest time, the 1st time round), just when we're just beginning to feel sane & grownup & able to cope w/life-with-kid and each other and feel like a family. Of course, not much to do now but hold on for the ride! Am hoping I get excited/less trepidatious (sp?) in the 3rd tri.
I feel the same as you pretty much. When I first got pregnant I thought of the pregnancy as a surprise and then it dawned on me that if we weren't going to use birth control then we should have realized that a pregnancy could happen at any time, even as much as I felt that it never would again.

I'm definitely getting more excited about things as I get farther along, and especially now that we know we are having another little girl, but at the same time I still have a lot of concerns and I'm scared of starting over again, even though I've done this twice already. I feel so old and I thought we were pretty much moving on in life just watching our older children grow up. I also hate all the weight gain. I tend to get really puffy and gross during pregnancy (I'm under 5') and I hate looking that way, and I'm very self-conscious about how I look right now and nothing I wear looks normal on me and I don't mean in my pregnant belly area but moreso in my butt and thighs, ugh. But I'm hanging in there and realizing that right now my life is not just mine, I'm sharing it with someone else until September and then I can work on me again.
post #212 of 437
We don't use BC. And, although we were getting used to the idea of being done we are very happy to have this little life coming into our home. Afterward, we will do the same as before, no BC.

So, who knows.
post #213 of 437
YAY!!! I finally got the results of the CVS yesterday! Baby has normal chromosomes, yay! And...I wasn't sure that I really wanted to know the gender but DH really did and since we already had 2 surprises before, I agreed. It's a girl! A sister for M!

Knowing it would be a sister for her actually makes it a lot better. This whole pg has been such a difficult adjustment and as much as I love my babies, I was torn up about this. MY body handling it physically, not just because I'm 40! I have MS and had back surgery 2 years ago.
Plus, I cannot tell my family yet. It's going to be so hard, they will all think we are insane. And my cousin & his wife have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years with no luck...
Here we used condoms and look what happens! My dr said condoms alone have only about an 85% success rate if not used with spermicide, by the way
My co worker has also been desperately trying for a baby (she's 40 too) and is now going to start IUI's!

So I just have no idea how to tell them and have basically been keeping my head in the sand and hoping no one notices, lol

Kristin, check into a prenatal yoga class at a studio, it is wonderful. I have a long time established practice and really get the most out of astanga yoga, which is quite physically challenging but I have to modify it a bit so I don't do twists or difficult inversions.
But we also have a prenatal class and I took that as well last pg and it was awesome. It was not hard but concentrates on woman strength and prep. for labor and of course, meditation with the new baby. It's wonderful. You can get videos but there's nothing quite like the energy of being in a class with other pregnant women, it's very powerful.

catemom, congratulations!!

I'm hoping for a natural birth but I have gotten a very difficult time from the OB I saw in the OB practice. I had a c section with my first boy (20 years ago!) and a natural vbac with my second (18 years ago!) and then M flipped to a footling breech and I had a c section with her 4 years ago.
So now they are saying it is very unlikely they would allow a vaginal birth unless I came to the hospital in very active labor at like 7 cm!
But that scares me too because what if this baby flips to breech like M did? She did it 2 days after I had an u/s where she was head down. Flipped over, broke the water and I went in to the hospital after no contractions for 6 hours. The cord was wrapped around her neck when they took her out (DH saw it!) and I was grateful for the c section then.

Geez, I don't know really what to plan for except that the OB I saw told me very carefully all the signs of a uterine rupture and said if I were to decide to labor as long as possible out of the hospital, to stay close by and be mindful of that. I think she really understood my desire for a vbac but knew she couldn't go against the huge team of doctors in the practice because they make group decisions.
She really appreciated my arguments for the positive aspects of vaginal births for babies compared to c sections and how the risk of rupture was still so small.

Well, sorry for all the blabbering, I guess I'm just excited from the results!

Hope everyone has a great day!

Deb
post #214 of 437
congrats, Mom2M!
as for telling 40 yo's who want to get pregnant, i would just tell them. don't assume jealousy; in fact, i'd feel the opposite. that you can get pg at 40 is an *inspiration* to other 40 yo's. it shows that it can be done! this is how i felt when my friend told me she was pg at 40, and the very next month, i was also pg at 40!
i would not, however, mention to those trying to get pg that you did it while using condoms. that would just rub it in (that you got pg while on bc!)
but, just between you and this thread, i think it does show that you are quite fertile (and or lucky); in my own personal opinion, it bodes well for the pregnancy b/c it shows that your fertility is strong, and this baby is meant to come to you no matter what.
congrats again on the good CVS results! how far along are you then? 13 weeks or so? when are you going to tell people?
post #215 of 437
Congrats catesmom and Mom2m!


We've been talking about birth control after this baby and we are at a loss. It took 2 3/4 yrs to get to this point, we've been ATTC since August 06. I had the Mirena and it was PURE HELL with AF every 2 wks, spotting, pain during intercourse, soreness, etc. I can not tolerate hormones and I want to breastfeed and let baby wean slowly so those are out.

We have an, erm, issue with condoms breaking so I don't rely on those. We did NFP trying to get pg until this Jan when we had our initial consult with a fertility dr and WHAM I got preggo. I just imagine once I try to use NFP for NOT getting pg, I'll be preggo before I can temp for a full month LOL

I usually get my periods back within 8 wks or so of delivery, even with NO supplements and all breastfeed on command.

I want to be done with babies and pg and wanting and I say that I am after this one but I've said that 4 times previously as well. Who knows what we'll do...probably continue to go with the flow.

Oh and POP method wouldn't work for us because DH is an anxious sorta guy, if you know what I mean
post #216 of 437
This is our third and last baby. Hubby is all for the vasectomy and will definitely go through with it. He knows this is his responsibility in our repoductive life together. Maybe yours just needs to talk to the doctors and get more information to settle his fears. I'm not a fan of tubals, especially as they can make your periods heavier. Why you should even still get them is beyond me. Tubals are much more invasive than the V's outpatient procedure and the risk is much less. It makes me sad to think of men who can't do this....
post #217 of 437
this is my 5th (oops) baby, DH was just about to get V, and he was just too late LOL. NOt sure when he will do it, but hopefully soon after this baby is born.
post #218 of 437
Congratulations Mom2M on your good CVS results, and Catemom congratulations on your totally, like, awesome baby!

I'm in good spirits because I just got my 12-week bloodwork results back and the risk results were something like 1:4600 for Down Syndrome and 1:10,000 for Trisomy 18. Any little thing to help put my mind at ease. And this week I also had a very vivid dream about giving birth (my first), and the birth was very fast and easy and it was a boy -- we'll see if any of that comes true!

As for BC post-baby, I have no idea what we're going to do. I used to be on a low-dose pill and that worked well for me, but I'm assuming I don't want to do that while breastfeeding. (?) It's interesting, DH had been very into just having one child -- and got me to consider it -- but I've noticed in the past few weeks he's been talking about "when" we have two kids, or "when" we have the next baby. Interesting! We shall see what the future holds....
post #219 of 437
Congratulations Mom2M that's great news. I have to say I am kind of scared to do the CVS and think I will wait for the amnio. I am not sure why I will do the amnio other than to put my mind at ease. I don't know that I would change anything and terminate if the results were really bad news. I just don't know and of course I am all worried and obsessing about possible problems this time. It's so strange with my dd I never gave it a second thought. I was sure everything was fine and the amnio just confirmed that. This time I am just a big worry wart over everything. I think it must be because it took so long for this pregnancy to happen. I just need some good news that yes this little bean is really in there, healthy, and that she is going to be born after a totally awesome pregnancy and delivery. Okay there are no tests for that last part but I thought I would throw that in there.

Other than the worrying. I am still feeling great. Hate this insomnia but still no m/s. I am still working out 6 days a week and so far depending on the scale I use at the gym I either have not gained a pound or I have lost 8. I just hope one of them is correct and I am not packing on the pounds. I don't think I am but I can gain weight just looking at a cookie.
post #220 of 437
Great news, Becca! I'm glad you got awesome results!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: I'm Pregnant
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › I'm Pregnant › Tribe for pregnant and over 35?