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Tribe for pregnant and over 35? - Page 13

post #241 of 437
Anyone else just feel ancient compared to other pregnant moms around you? I swear I'm the oldest (at 40) by far of the many pregnant women I know or meet. They are all in the 20s or maybe early 30s and I feel like an antique! When they find out my age they are shocked and of course blurt out things like "no way will I be doing that" or "gee you're really THAT old?" LOL

I'm not offended, just think it's funny

Of course, I'll FEEL that old when they are back in their skinny jeans in 6 weeks and it'll take me a year!
post #242 of 437
AnnR thanks for the encouragement. I am still having the reddish/brown cervical mucous but only observed on the TP. But I saw a pretty big drop of dark red blood in the potty tonight. I also think I have a dull crampy feeling in my lower right abdomen. I say think because I think I could manufacture symptoms if I am look for them hard enough.

I just kind of have a feeling of foreboding. Which I would put down to anxiety, however; yesterday morning I woke up thinking "well, if this doesn't work out dd will be okay without a sibling it won't be the end of the world." Then I went to the bathroom and saw the red/brown cm.

I am hoping I can laugh about my crazy thoughts while pregnant after I deliver in December but I just don't know.

It's not from physical activity as I missed my workout yesterday and skipped it today. But I suppose it could be stress related I have a lot of really stressful things in my life right now. Please send healing thoughts my way. However, this goes I can't be all stressed out and weepy. I have dd to care for too and don't want to freak her out she is really sensitive to my moods.
post #243 of 437
Kristin, :
I bet everything is just fine, especially if it isn't bright red. But it sure can be stressful. I'm sorry you are dealing with this, especially without having a dr to call.
Maybe you could look into getting insurance like state aid or something? I think it is available here when you are pg or have kids.
It won't hurt to rest for a while.

Ann, one of the moms at preschool asked me how old I was when we were talking about my oldest son (in college!)
She said "NO WAY!" Actually very flattering, she thought I was in my 20's, lol!

Hi tofutti, I had a CVS too! I'm very glad, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
We are having a girl too!

Well, off to bed, I am beat today.

Deb
post #244 of 437
Kristin, i just wrote out a long reply to your bleeding, but it was lost on the computer when i hit a button, typing in the dark here.

i too had bleeding at 13w0d. it lasted for several hours one morning and stopped on its own.

they told me bleeding can have many causes and is fairly common. that it's not accompanied by cramping is a good sign.

definitely lay off the sex (deep penetration is culprit positions for irritating the cervix) and see if it stops.

also my provider wanted to make sure i'm not Rh negative. can you get your medical records from last pregnancy to make sure of that too? i believe bleeding can be a sign of trouble beginning to manifest (trouble for the fetus *and* you) if you are Rh negative, and you would need a shot.

placenta privia can cause bleeding, as can detatching placenta. i'm sure this is not all they would want to check out, but i am concerned that you are "in the dark" on this. what are your plans for getting through the pregnancy/delivery and all without insurance? seems to me i've read that being pregnant qualifies you for state aid insurance. i'd look into this asap. maybe if you just went into the emergency room (especially if the bleeding continues or gets heavier) and let them advise you on how you can get care. you can't just keep going without insurance when something starts to go wrong.

not to suggest that anything is wrong. in fact, quite the contrary, everything is probably just fine. you will know soon if it continues or stops. please let us know.
post #245 of 437
Most of my friends are in their late 30's or early 40's and expecting, well our 10th and 11th. We just keep having them so in good company I am the youngest at 35.
post #246 of 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnR33 View Post
Anyone else just feel ancient compared to other pregnant moms around you? I swear I'm the oldest (at 40) by far of the many pregnant women I know or meet. They are all in the 20s or maybe early 30s and I feel like an antique! When they find out my age they are shocked and of course blurt out things like "no way will I be doing that" or "gee you're really THAT old?" LOL

I'm not offended, just think it's funny

Of course, I'll FEEL that old when they are back in their skinny jeans in 6 weeks and it'll take me a year!
well i give you credit for your sense of humor. frankly, i'm blessed in that my neighborhood has a lot of "older" moms, one 40 yo just had a baby last year. others are in their late 30's, so pretty close to 40. no one was shocked we are having #2 (DD is just three). even in my own family, my SIL is also pregnant, and she's only two years behind me at 38. so i feel in good company.

i think i hang out with some 20 something moms at the library, but i try not to bring up the age thing. frankly i don't want to know if they are that young, because honestly i don't care for the attitudes of people in their 20s all that much. they are such recent young adults (barely out of their teens!) and think they know it all already. in my experience, your 30s is a very "tempering" time, and a lot of people gain some good life experience during that decade. you build your career, change jobs (voluntarily or not), perhaps see a relationship break up, realize you don't know it all! people in their 20s have all of that still ahead of them.

as for those "kids" rolling their eyes at you that they would never have a child when they're that old, how the heck do they know that for sure? they may find themselves remarried at 40 and wanting a child with their new spouse. or accidentally pregnant or whatever. i don't like it that they are in effect passing judgment on you for being pregnant. you aren't knocking them for being pregnant "so young," why should they for you being "so old"?

just my humble opinion. i'm happy for you that you can let it roll off your back so well.

just one more thought on the subject of "being old" is that we are not nearly as "old" perceived as just a generation or less ago. my good friend's mom was pregnant when we were in high school (my friend and i were around 15). it was quite the "shocking" thing then. come to do the math nowadays, and she was just 40. of course every doctor counseled her to get an abortion, etc. (she didn't.) the baby was just fine. geeze, he's in his 20's now.

also my aunt had her last child at 47, that was in 1994. it too was treated like she was ancient, crazy, should have an abortion, needed every test. baby was fine, my cousin is now going on 15. i feel so blessed that i'm not getting any of that flak that they got. being pregnant at 40 is so much more common nowadays, although it may depend on where you live.

i'm in a large suburban metropolis (chicagoland) and our area is fairly upscale in a general sense, insofar as it can take awhile to establish yourself enough to afford a house around here! i think that contributes to more people being "older" by the time they have kids. also i see a lot of second marriages and people having a late in life baby with their new spouse.

ok just some random thoughts. sorry to be long...
post #247 of 437
Kristin:
I had brown bleeding at 17 weeks and again at 19 wks--even tho no sex, no cervix checking, no marathon-running. Advice nurse said basically the same thing that PPs have said here: brown=old=fine. I had cramping, though, and was pretty scared. The 2nd time, more cramping, I freaked out, ended up in the hospital getting all sorts of tests (on me, placenta, cervix, baby, etc) and nothing showed up. Bedrest for a week (blech) and nothing since then. I'm slowwwwly starting to believe that it's true that "sometimes this just happens" and that placentas heal really quickly (if this is what's causing it; I also have my 1st-ever fibroid, could be that; or leftover bleeding from amnio; or lifting my 4 yr old; or who knows what). So, while obviously I don't know what's going on w/your body, & I would wave a magic wand to get you into a health-care-provider if I could it is totally possible for this not to be a big deal.

What scared me most is that all along I've had an ominous feeling (anxiety) that something is wrong this time around: with me, not w/babe. And that maybe my body just can't do another pregnancy, and something Scary and Horrible will happen. Not because I'm 40, per se, but because I'm an out of shape, not fit, not highly healthy 40. And THAT may be the worst part of it: the not-knowing, and the worrying, and the sense of dread (because, as this was a BIG unplanned "oops"/surprise, we'd be unlikely to "go for it" again).

I hope you get some answers or reassurance soon!!
post #248 of 437
Kristin, I hope all is well.

I always hate it when people say, "Oh, spotting is normal when you are pregnant, don't worry, everything will be fine."

So, I will not say that to you. (Unless that is what you need to hear, then I will say it a thousand times!)

But, I do hope and pray that everything will be fine with you and this is all a worrisome false alarm that you will talk about with ease one day in the future.

I know what the uncertainty is like, the worry, the stress, the fear of losing something so precious before you have a chance to know him/her. So, all I can say, is to try and relax and try not to worry (easier said than done).

And hopefully, the morning will bring with it better news.
post #249 of 437
Update: Well, I am still experiencing the reddish/brown cm. It's kind of more red than before but still brown. I finally gave in and called my old OB's office the midwife who delivered my daughter called me back and she basically said don't worry about it and when I get my insurance straightened out in a few weeks or whenever, come into the office. Then she gave me the signs to look for that would mean drive to the ER ASAP. After talking a while longer she decided that she would talk to the doc. (who I don't like and scares me) and another MW in the office in the am and see if they will "sneak me in" for a quick scan to see what's going on. In other words is there a heartbeat or not?So I am feeling a little less concerned and thankful that they might be able to do a quick scan to see if there is a living baby in here or not. :
post #250 of 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnR33 View Post
Anyone else just feel ancient compared to other pregnant moms around you? I swear I'm the oldest (at 40) by far of the many pregnant women I know or meet. They are all in the 20s or maybe early 30s and I feel like an antique! When they find out my age they are shocked and of course blurt out things like "no way will I be doing that" or "gee you're really THAT old?" LOL
I agree. Most people don't believe I'm over 40 but I feel really old because I know I've been a parent for 14 years and what all I've been through. I don't have that same zest or energy about the pregnancy that the first time moms have that I meet. I'm excited but I guess because I've BT/DT I just don't react to things the same way as they do.
post #251 of 437
Kristin, sending you a big. I hope you get some answers at the appt. I'll be hoping for good news from you.
As for feeling old, I haven't got any young pregnant friends, so I guess I feel normal right now. I have told some of my friends who are mostly my age or older and they are all thrilled for me. There have been the inevitable, "was this an accident?" questions, but I just answer truthfully that I don't believe in accidents, and this is a happy surprise. I think after we move back to Canada I may feel like the "old pregnant lady" because I expect to be back in a community with many young families. Even so, I look pretty good for 41(if I do say so myself), so I could pass for younger. My oldest just turned 11 as well, so I don't have any college age kids hanging arond either.
post #252 of 437

add me to the list!

I had #2 and #3 at 35 and 36, and this #4 is due 10 days before my 40th b-day. (and #1 was a month before I turned 30). I feel OLD this time around--just tired, KWIM? If we truly had a "it takes a village" in our society, ideal would be to have kids at like 15-25 or 30 and then have a career--but of course a kid at 15 is no good thing--but have you ever seen a teenager a few days after giving birth--MAN, they bounce back fast! <LOL>.

But so, yeah, my last 2 had "advanced maternal age" on the charts--doesn't that make you feel ancient?!

-lava
post #253 of 437
Ughhhhhhh I am ready to scream. I am feeling so impatient today. The bleeding has turned bright red. IT is still just when I use the bathroom but it's still there. So I called the OB's office after being on hold forever I spoke with the scheduling nurse and before I could say I wanted an appointment today she transferred me to the advice nurse. GRRR I had to leave a message on her voicemail and her message said she was out today but someone would call back eventually. Okay, I added the eventually part.

I called back to just schedule the appointment and the receptionist said I HAVE to talk to the triage nurse first, and she will call back within 2 hours.
I don't want to wait 2 hours!

I am just feeling really on edge. I feel like I am probably having a miscarriage and I just really want to know. Okay, I am going to take my fish oil I just realized I forgot to take it the last 2 days. This might help my mood some.
post #254 of 437
Kristin sending I so know that scared feeling. Praying you get in right away.
post #255 of 437
Well, my OB's office wouldn't see me. I was so upset. I finally got to talk to the HB midwife and she had me call a midwife at the Family clinic at one of the medical schools. They saw me this afternoon. I had an U/S and there is a gestational sac dated at 7 weeks 6 days but no yolk sac, no fetal pole, no baby. So I guess I have a placenta chugging away making my body think I am pregnant but I have no baby. I am so sad. That and almost equally if not more devestating news in some ways was they noted my right ovary was insufficient. I can't recall the exact word but I think it was insufficiant. It was significantly smaller than it should be. So I need to look into that when I am able. I have an appointment tomorrow to discuss my options at this point. I would like to hear from anyone who has been through this. I'd like to know what I can expect to happen. Since the appointment I have felt really sick to my stomach. I think I am starting to feel cramps but don't know if it's just because I am so upset. We didn't mention any of this to dd today just told her they were checking to see if mommy was healthy. But after the u/s she says to me. "It's pretty exciting when a baby comes isn't it." It was so strange like she has some odd sixth sense about things.

And to make things just this much worse. DH let our dog out to night to go potty and now she is missing. She is very sick and generally only walks a few feet before falling etc... Now I am worried about her. dd is going to be heartbroken in the morning.
post #256 of 437
Kristin, I am so sorry.
post #257 of 437
Kristin, i'm so sorry to read your update. what sad news. about your pregnancy, your condition and your dog being missing. at the very least, i hope your dog comes back or you can find her. what a terrible concidence to have that happen on the very day you discover there is no baby.

my thoughts are with you.
post #258 of 437
Oh Kristin, I am so sorry. I wish you had gotten better news. When I had a miscarriage, I never had cramps, just bleeding and then when they told me on the u/s that there was no baby anymore, I was given the option to wait or do a D& C and I did not wait, I just couldn't. It felt better for me to just have it be done.
I hope you find your dog! I can't imagine how you feel having her missing too at the same time
I'm so sorry Kristin...

Deb
post #259 of 437
Kristin, I'm so sorry. I was hoping for better news, but at least now you know what is going on in your body, no more wondering and anxiety. Children are resilient and your daughter will probably surprise you with how she handles the news.
I do hope you find your dear doggie soon.
Please let us know how you are doing.
post #260 of 437
Kristin I'm sorry that your update isn't good. Hope your dog is home soon. Please take care of yourself.
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