Tribe for pregnant and over 35? - Page 3

[veganmama719]

Hi MossbackMeadow! I remember you from the March DDC. I am glad your Pg has gone so well. I wish you a nice labour too!

[MossbackMeadow]

Your well wishes are greatly appreciated Veganmama. I'm ready to go but would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit scared. My last birth was so traumatic due to baby's position - I figure it can't happen again, but it's on my mind.......

[MossbackMeadow]

Veganmama - OH OH OH - so glad to see you are pregnant again!!! Hope all is well. :

[veganmama719]

Thank you MossBackMeadow! 20w3d and so far so good!

My last labour/birth was very hard too. I think I have a funnny shaped uterus because both my babes were not well poistioned. And my DS had huge shoulders. We had to use the Gaskin Manouevre to get him out.

We found out last week that we are having another DS and I am nervous about that since they tend to be bigger than girls.

Also, all 3 pregnancies had/have anterior placenta. What are the odds without a oddly shaped uterus?

Anyway, I am going to do Hypnobabies and hope for the best!

I will be thinking of you and sending nice easly labour and birth vibes your way!

[catemom]

I have unfortunate early graying and last time I let it go and now hate all those old-ladyish photos of me pregnant with my first. I've been using body art quality henna I buy online from a reputable person. I mix the henna, indigo, etc. myself and have finally settled on a mix I like. It's nice because you simply add citrus juice and water to the mix, but it requires some planning (you have to mix the henna/citrus juice and let it sit overnight) and time to do (I leave my mix on for 3 hours). I really like it because I KNOW for sure that it's not going to harm the baby or myself, and it doesn't burn my scalp, smell like scary chemicals, or damage my hair significantly (it IS a little drying to the ends of my hair). It's not for everyone, but I really like using it (and it really covers gray well).

[ElliesMomma]

i had some scary spotting this morning, still don't know why. my doctor sent me to the high risk ultrasound place, where they were able to image the baby, see it's heart beating at 162, see he/she is active and appropriate size. nothing the tech could see looked wrong. they also did the NT scan today, that was originally scheduled for Monday. so far so good. results will be in early next week.

but ugh, so tiring, to have that anxiety and now this relief that all is well.

i know spotting could happen to anyone at any age, but at 40, my mind just went right to the worst.

i really want to have this baby, god willing it will be healthy, and then that's probably going to be it for me, two kids.

i just hope the spotting doesn't have anything to do with me still nursing DD. she was nursing a bunch this morning right before the spotting.

[Dmitrizmom]

Had my first appointment on Tuesday. It went ok. Not thrilled with their insistence on GTT, but will deal with that bridge when I get there. Got to hear the hb - chugging along in the mid 160s.

[zookeeper]

I'm 37, pg with #7. You'd think this would be old hat by now, but this m/s is kicking my butt! I'm nauseated all day long. I try telling myself it's a good sign, but I'm not very convincing. This will be our first homebirth and we're very excited about it! Glad to know there are other "older" mamas out there.

[heatherdeg]

I'll join for as long as I'm pregnant. They don't give me long. I'm 37yo and had my first at a month shy of 32.

I only found out about my pg through an u/s looking for ovarian cyst a week ago today. Voila--baby inside. Monday I was 12wks. And while the place that did that u/s doesn't really do pg screening, they called my ob (I'm a high risk pg--no mw will take me) and told him "Hey, her nuchal sack is ENORMOUS--get her checked".

I already have 2 special needs children. My 5yo bio and a 4mo we are in the process of adopting. We are in the process of testing the 5yo for genetic disorders (although his issues are currently manageable after many overwhelming years) and the 4mo was drug-exposed--so her future is unknown. Needless to say, I need to know what's coming. I had a CVS & level II u/s Tuesday and none of it was good. The nuchal sack was enormous, there was fluid under the skin around the chest, the heart looked leaky and the nasal bone was missing (although apparently it may be too early to tell this).

But I'm kind of pissed at the decision for all this testing being thrust on me like this. I know I'd have had to have an u/s at this point because of my other pregnancy risk factors and that's fine. I know that u/s would've shown the structural problems. But this all happened so fast that I barely had time to think about any of it. Hell--I barely had time to let the fact that I'm PREGNANT sink in, you know?

So I'm currently in pregnancy hell. Thankfully not alone (dh). We never planned on another child AND we were preventing : So these were never things we thought about. In fact, we adopted because pregnancy was such a huge problem for us in the first place.

I don't mean to piss in anyone's cheerios. I'm just really... I don't know.

[Dmitrizmom]

Originally Posted by heatherdeg

But I'm kind of pissed at the decision for all this testing being thrust on me like this. I know I'd have had to have an u/s at this point because of my other pregnancy risk factors and that's fine. I know that u/s would've shown the structural problems. But this all happened so fast that I barely had time to think about any of it. Hell--I barely had time to let the fact that I'm PREGNANT sink in, you know?

So I'm currently in pregnancy hell. Thankfully not alone (dh). We never planned on another child AND we were preventing : So these were never things we thought about. In fact, we adopted because pregnancy was such a huge problem for us in the first place.

Heather, don't feel bad about needing to vent. Better to have a supportive place to come than to hold it inside. I'll be thinking about you.

[veganmama719]

Elliesmomma, I am sorry about the spotting. That must have been scary. I am glad it looks like everything is OK.

Heather, I am very sorry that you are having to go through all this anxiety and worry. Please feel free to come here, we willl be here for you.

[thewaggonerfamily]

Originally Posted by Dmitrizmom

Heather, don't feel bad about needing to vent. Better to have a supportive place to come than to hold it inside. I'll be thinking about you.

:
:H ug
You are not alone, you have DH like you said, and you have us. Feel free to come here and vent away. If you'd like to vent in private, feel free to PM me or my email is thewaggonerfamily at gmail dot com. (remove the spaces and make the at and dot appropriate characters) People say the dumbest things at times like this, just because they feel like they have to say something. I will pray for you and your wee one and your family.

Have they told you what all this might mean? Downs? Trisomy 18? Or something else? Is it possible that some or all of it could resolve itself? Please keep us updated. We care.

[thewaggonerfamily]

Originally Posted by catemom

I have unfortunate early graying and last time I let it go and now hate all those old-ladyish photos of me pregnant with my first. I've been using body art quality henna I buy online from a reputable person. I mix the henna, indigo, etc. myself and have finally settled on a mix I like. It's nice because you simply add citrus juice and water to the mix, but it requires some planning (you have to mix the henna/citrus juice and let it sit overnight) and time to do (I leave my mix on for 3 hours). I really like it because I KNOW for sure that it's not going to harm the baby or myself, and it doesn't burn my scalp, smell like scary chemicals, or damage my hair significantly (it IS a little drying to the ends of my hair). It's not for everyone, but I really like using it (and it really covers gray well).

What color is your hair? I thought henna always made you red? I have medium brown hair, although I have a lot of natural red highlights in it. Do you have any pics of your hair? Any links to websites? I'd be interested if I wouldn't end up with red hair.

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by thewaggonerfamily

Have they told you what all this might mean? Downs? Trisomy 18? Or something else? Is it possible that some or all of it could resolve itself? Please keep us updated. We care.

The nuchal sack being enormous doesn't look good for Down's and the leaky heart would support that--or other chromosomal problems. The CVS will show if we have positive for T13, 18 or 21 plus some others. I did some research so I know to ask if it's abnormal, or mosaic. The fluid on the chest under the skin they said they have no idea--but it's a problem and shouldn't be happening and we'd need to find out why it's happening. The lack of nasal bone appears to support Down's.

We never did the genetic testing for my son, but I called his neuro office to ask them to resend the list of what they were looking for so I can have this one scanned for those, too--but really, I need to research those things because another one of my son is completely manageable and I don't know if that's the norm for whatever he's carrying, or if it's a miracle (because most believe he's a miracle). It's not Down's. I know one of the things on the list was Fragile X--so it's in that realm of stuff.

Thanks for letting me vent. It's not like I don't know what it's like to have a special needs kid. It's not like I don't think they are the worlds greatest gifts to me. It's not like I just don't want to deal with a disabled child. It's that I don't want the kids I have to suffer because I can't appropriately attend to their needs. We have no friends, no family, no church--it's just us.

And I feel like they could be making me worry like this for nothing; but I can't NOT worry about it because I'm worried about how this will impact the kids I have. Oh, yeah--and my marriage... that truly would've been over after my son was born except that staying with dh meant being able to stay home and do the 14-20 hours/week of therapy with my son. I mean, I'm glad I stayed--I'm just sayin. There was 3 years of that and he was the only child we had at the time. Between his current therapies and the baby's therapy (which is about to be increased already--at 4mo)... how on earth am I going to manage a more severely disabled baby?

Either way, these people can be wrong. Their science can be wrong. Ultrasounds can be wrong. And even if none of them were wrong, we could have problems at birth that render us in a bad position. And I know that.

Thanks for the hugs. You can't possibly know how needed they are today.

Back to hair coloring. I'm naturally auburn and allowing my grays to just come in. I don't have a lot of them, but the ones I have are SO coarse in comparison to my baby fine hair that they're really noticeable. Would hair coloring change the texture? And isn't maintenance a complete PITA?

[mamamia10]

new here

Hi mamas I have been looking for all of you!!
I am 36 and expecting in Sept I am planning a 2nd HB and am doing some OB care in the beginning. The OB is a little off the wall and chasing me down for all this testing. I had an US at 10 weeks and "all looked well" they did not do any assays for trisomies etc but the baby looks anatomically normal. I am really not interested in the testing except for the 20 week US and anatomy scan. I do worry about being AMA but I hope it is just all the nonsense in the press and this crazy OB. My MW doesn't think my age is a factor either...
looking for support and commonality
I hope to post (and learn) a lot as you all have such great info

[catemom]

thewaggonerfamily My hair (before it went gray) was a medium cool brown. If you use just plain henna, your grays will be VERY red, but if you mix it with indigo, cassia, etc. you can achieve differing shades of warm blonde, warm brown, and black. My current color is a medium-dark brown that has a definite red glow to it in the sunlight. Because the other dyes fade faster than the henna (and because of gray roots), I do have to re-dye my hair every 4-6 wks. Look at the site www.hennaforhair.com for more info.

Heather So sorry that you're having to go through this.

Elliesmomma I hope the spotting turns out to be nothing.

zookeeper With 6 other kids, you must be exhausted! I hope your m/s doesn't last long.

I love that there are some 40+ moms-to-be on this thread, it gives me a little more hope for a potential baby #3 in my future.

[darcytrue]

For those of you with 2+ kids already, do you ever go anywhere alone and get comments as if you are a first time mom? I have already. I've gone shopping at a few consignment sales the last few weeks and mainly browsing and buying baby stuff. I've had quite a few people comment as if they want to share information about their experience as a parent. Some seemed really surprised when I let them know I already had two kids and they were much older.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by heatherdeg

I don't mean to piss in anyone's cheerios. I'm just really... I don't know.

You're among friends here. Feel free to vent.

[SewingMom2Many]

I'd like to join
I'm 40 and this will be my 6th.

I haven't colored my hair since I found out I was pregnant and it needs it badly. I have gray hairs popping out where I part my hair on the top and I don't like it. Dh really wants me to perm my hair (I never have) and I have hair almost down to my waist so I'm not sure if that is a good idea. I am not really worried about how my hair would react being pregnant, I just worry that with longer hair the solution would have to be on longer and I'd be exposed longer. I'm still debating the perm thing but I definitely will be coloring soon.

Originally Posted by darcytrue

For those of you with 2+ kids already, do you ever go anywhere alone and get comments as if you are a first time mom? I have already. I've gone shopping at a few consignment sales the last few weeks and mainly browsing and buying baby stuff. I've had quite a few people comment as if they want to share information about their experience as a parent. Some seemed really surprised when I let them know I already had two kids and they were much older.

Yes!! It's pretty funny if they see me out without any of my kids and they notice I'm pregnant they might give me some well meaning advice and then ask if this is my first. They usually seem pretty shocked when I say no, actually it's my sixth and my oldest is 20. I think I look forty but from what I'm told I don't look that old so that's probably why they look so surprised. I love it that they think I'm so young

[thewaggonerfamily]

Originally Posted by heatherdeg

The nuchal sack being enormous doesn't look good for Down's and the leaky heart would support that--or other chromosomal problems. The CVS will show if we have positive for T13, 18 or 21 plus some others. I did some research so I know to ask if it's abnormal, or mosaic. The fluid on the chest under the skin they said they have no idea--but it's a problem and shouldn't be happening and we'd need to find out why it's happening. The lack of nasal bone appears to support Down's.

We never did the genetic testing for my son, but I called his neuro office to ask them to resend the list of what they were looking for so I can have this one scanned for those, too--but really, I need to research those things because another one of my son is completely manageable and I don't know if that's the norm for whatever he's carrying, or if it's a miracle (because most believe he's a miracle). It's not Down's. I know one of the things on the list was Fragile X--so it's in that realm of stuff.

Thanks for letting me vent. It's not like I don't know what it's like to have a special needs kid. It's not like I don't think they are the worlds greatest gifts to me. It's not like I just don't want to deal with a disabled child. It's that I don't want the kids I have to suffer because I can't appropriately attend to their needs. We have no friends, no family, no church--it's just us.

And I feel like they could be making me worry like this for nothing; but I can't NOT worry about it because I'm worried about how this will impact the kids I have. Oh, yeah--and my marriage... that truly would've been over after my son was born except that staying with dh meant being able to stay home and do the 14-20 hours/week of therapy with my son. I mean, I'm glad I stayed--I'm just sayin. There was 3 years of that and he was the only child we had at the time. Between his current therapies and the baby's therapy (which is about to be increased already--at 4mo)... how on earth am I going to manage a more severely disabled baby?

Either way, these people can be wrong. Their science can be wrong. Ultrasounds can be wrong. And even if none of them were wrong, we could have problems at birth that render us in a bad position. And I know that.

Thanks for the hugs. You can't possibly know how needed they are today.

Back to hair coloring. I'm naturally auburn and allowing my grays to just come in. I don't have a lot of them, but the ones I have are SO coarse in comparison to my baby fine hair that they're really noticeable. Would hair coloring change the texture? And isn't maintenance a complete PITA?

Everything you say is absolutely true. Yes you would probably be great caring for another special needs child, but gosh it would be great to have a completely healthy baby. There is absolutely nothing wrong with grieving that healthy baby that won't be coming. (And as you point out, they don't KNOW that yet)

Putting my pastor hat on now... I would really strongly encourage you to find a church family where you "fit" We have a few friends, and no family around. But we do have a great church family that has totally become our family. Last year when DH nearly died, was in the ICU for 3 mo and was off work on disability for 6 mo and I was 6 mo pregnant. Our church was incredible. One couple took our 5 kids while I stayed at the hospital 5 days straight while he wavered near death, and everyone pitched in to bring meals to them since they couldn't afford to feed our crew. They gave gas cards prayers, one lady (who I didn't mind seeing my undies) washed our laundry for a month...it goes on and on. And even not in a crisis, they are fill in family for us. My kids have lots of surrogate grandparents, and aunts and uncles. They are really great with our one DS who has sensory issues. We also have a now young adult in our congregation who had autism and everyone is great with him. If you want to PM me where you are faithwise, I could give you some ideas of where to get started church shopping. We were lucky when we went church shopping the first church "fit" our family. It was a little easier since I was raised in this denomination and agree with the beliefs. But I can probably point you in the right direction of what denomination(s) might "fit" with your belief system and you can try some out from there. It is well worth the time and energy you put in to finding a church home/family. It will be a huge blessing to you and your kids and instead of our virtual hugs you could get some real ones when you are having a crappy week. There are options no matter your belief system (including pagan or athiest or agnostic) and I think that having that support system in your life is priceless when life is going good and a must when things are tough.

And just because: