Originally Posted by meganmarie
This is what I did also - for my second birth, after I learned the hard way about hospitals and baby separation. The hospital I used for birth #1 claimed to "allow" rooming-in policies and to "allow" you to accompany baby etc. but the reality was very different. The nurses made it clear that you were inconveniencing them any time baby wasn't in the nursery or any time you asked for anything aside from their preferred routine of mother-baby care. It was very hard to fight when I was unsure of myself as a new mom.
I had to pick between 2 hospitals, 1 larger & 1 smaller. Both claimed to have to same room in policy, but the larger hospital you had to share your room after the delivery (well, didn't have to, but my insurance wouldn't have paid for a private room at all so I'd had to eat those cost myself, which we couldn't afford) & when I went to look around at that hospital I was so sad to see babies getting bathed in the window. The baths weren't awful, but the drying was. I swear, they dry a dog at the groomers better than they were drying those babies. Two nurses were talking to eat other, each had a baby face down on a pad not even looking at them, & was just drying them like they were drying off puppies or something. The babies were just screaming & it was awful. I looked at DH & said, "No way I'm letting these people touch my baby."
So we went to the smaller hospital, who brags about their private rooms & rooming in on their website & their handouts, as well as on their tour. But once I had the baby? They had the nursery. And everyone talked about what a great, wonderful thing it was, that they just keep the baby away from you & just bring it to you when it needs fed. I was told I could call & have them bring my my baby anytime & call again to return him, so I just played it like that. Yeah, they acted like I was inconveniencing them, but I'd been through so much at that point I really didn't care. I think he spent 45 minutes in the nursery one night, that was the longest. When I'd call & ask, a nurse would always pop in, suprised, asking, "You don't want you baby, do you?" Um, yes I want my baby. They'd come in often to take him, even without having a reason or attempting to give me one to pacify me, but I'd say no. They all thought I was a weirdo, I was the difficult patient going in anyway since I refused to be induced & I was *gasp* 41 weeks pregnant so maybe they were prepared for me. lol
Even now, when people hear from DH that we're having a homebirth, one of the first couple questions they ask is, "But who takes care of the baby the first few days?" Dh tells them, "Us, you know, his parents."