Thinking of private school: how do you afford it if not wealthy?

[tammylsmith]

My dd is just a toddler, so I am thinking a few years down the line. I live in a good ps district but don't want to send dd ot ps for various reasons. I am considering a) homeschooling or b) a completely wonderful, small private school near me that aligns perfectly with my philosophy of educating my dd.

This school is very small, with only 3 classrooms. Kids are not in micro groups according to age, but in age groupings (k-2, 3-5, 6-8, with flexibility according to maturity). They go on field trips often and don't give students letter grades or any tests (they build a portfolio over the years). It is $10,000/yr, which according to what I've read, is actually a bargain for private school. It seems like a HUGE chunk of change to me, who have only had experience with ps from myself and everyone I know. I work very part time, and dh and I are comfortable, but by no means rich. We live in a small house and have only 1 car, but have money to go out to eat, etc. For those of you who have to stretch the budget to fit in private school 1) HOW do you do it? and 2) do you think it is worth the sacrifice? If I don't homeschool dd, I was thinking that we will be having a second soon hopefully, and maybe I could think of returning to work full time by the time she gets to be that age. I'd rather not do that just yet though, if I could think of other ways to make things work. Another thing I thought of was homeschooling for a few years until dd and future sibling-as-yet-not-made are a bit bigger. Anyone else gone through this?

[Close2Me]

Many have Financial Assistance and payment installments!

[alegna]

We could do it- IF- I went back to work full time and we only had 1 or 2 kids (and 2 would be a HUGE stretch)

Problem is- we plan 4. Making it a total impossibility.

-Angela

[poiyt]

It wouldnt help for a toddler...but...I can tell you how my mom did it. I went to private school for grades 10,11 & 12 (schools get more expensive te higher grade you are in). I didnt want to go, hated it, despised it - and yet - i still had to help pay for it! It sucked..but thats how she made it work. She paid my overall tuition, and I was in charge of my monthly bill (for things like transportation, a needed uniform piece..etc..etc..) yes there are monthly bills as well...so I got a job, and worked, and took pop cans back and paid for it....

[fadedgirl]

For us, it is absolutely worth every sacrifice. But we are in a private school with very small class sizes and a non-traditional learning philosophy -- a combination that is extremely rare here and valued very highly by us. Therefore, we do what we have to to make it happen.

I think this issue hinges greatly upon what one's priorities are, what type of learning environment they desire for their child, and the selection of schools they have to choose from in their area. If all we had to choose from was traditional private schools versus traditional public schools, would we opt to pay for the private?

On a practical note, you might also inquire about working at the school, along with the financial aid programs if you qualify. I'd also drop by the school soon. Yes it is early to do such, but if you establish contact with them you will be better able to ascertain if it is an environment you truly want for your child. And having them know you're interested this far in advance cannot hurt, either.

[AutumnMama]

Originally Posted by alegna

We could do it- IF- I went back to work full time and we only had 1 or 2 kids (and 2 would be a HUGE stretch)

Problem is- we plan 4. Making it a total impossibility.

-Angela

Yep, same here. Not that it helps you, OP
Really wish we could afford it; it'd be a huge stress off of me.

[Mirzam]

Originally Posted by Close2Me

Many have Financial Assistance and payment installments!

:

Both DD and DS's schools do.

[tammylsmith]

This is a tiny little school. They only have 3 classrooms k-8 (they only go to 8), which is what attracted me. There are many private schools in my area of NJ and our public school is a good one. I just like the small, intimate size of this private school. It also has an amazing, progressive learning philosophy that closely aligns with my own. It feels more like a co-op than a school. They don't hire many employees to keep costs down. They don't offer any sort of tuition break except for siblings, though I can break up the payment. They actually require parents to help do things like keeping up the grounds, helping out in the classroom etc to keep costs as low as possible and the atmosphere very community minded. Since dd is only 2, I can think about it and start a savings. Our car will be paid off next year. That payment can be put towards private school. I suppose this is a very individual question and everyone has their reasons and ways to pay for it. If it is meant to be, I will make it happen.

[Aeress]

We (good friend and I) are opening a school this fall and right now we are working out a system for parents to earn a reduction in tuition by helping with chores, purchasing materials and such. I would inquire to see if this is an option. We also plan to have some assistance available for families who ask/need it. Our tuition is 4000 (currently, hope to be lower).

[tammylsmith]

I will certainly inquire about some of those ideas. I have a feeling though, that if it is going to work, I just have to find a way to make it work.

Here is their philosophy (see why I am in love? : ):

We believe that real learning is an integrated process that occurs when children are allowed flexibility to follow a wide variety of interests without being subject to a rigid time frame or curriculum. We feel children are naturally curious and enjoy learning when it can be fostered through their own interests and absorbed at their own pace. Learning occurs on different levels, and when a varied and challenging atmosphere is created, children have the opportunity to develop their full potential as creative, confident and happy people.

We emphasize linking freedom with responsibility as an important aspect of our philosophy. While our school offers children greater freedoms than traditional schools, it also helps to develop the sense of personal responsibility that is necessary to make this kind of environment work.

We believe in nurturing the passion for learning and the self-motivation that are evident in the youngest children, but sadly are often allowed to diminish or are even institutionally discouraged in some cases. This school is a place that nourishes those sparks as a matter of our philosophical integrity. And with those sparks in tact, our children can go anywhere!

[tammylsmith]

I found this website to be very helpful with suggestions and motivation (including the story of a child of a big family whose parents just took the plunge, and taught their children valuable lessons in the process)

I found it very inspirational. It definitely upped my determination factor.
Check it out!

http://www.schoolandstate.org/Resour...terOptions.htm

[beanma]

tammy, does the school not do tuition assistance at all? It sounds a lot like our private school and we have a small tuition assistance program. Our school right now is 4 classrooms, though we hope to expand.

[jeliphish]

tuition assistance ...and you will be surprised how much you can save in 4 years. Start putting money away now and you will get inspired to save more and more.

[VroomieMama]

I like the philosophy too and can imagine that it would be a good environment for my 6 yrs old dd.

Originally Posted by tammylsmith

I will certainly inquire about some of those ideas. I have a feeling though, that if it is going to work, I just have to find a way to make it work.

Here is their philosophy (see why I am in love? : ):

We believe that real learning is an integrated process that occurs when children are allowed flexibility to follow a wide variety of interests without being subject to a rigid time frame or curriculum. We feel children are naturally curious and enjoy learning when it can be fostered through their own interests and absorbed at their own pace. Learning occurs on different levels, and when a varied and challenging atmosphere is created, children have the opportunity to develop their full potential as creative, confident and happy people.

We emphasize linking freedom with responsibility as an important aspect of our philosophy. While our school offers children greater freedoms than traditional schools, it also helps to develop the sense of personal responsibility that is necessary to make this kind of environment work.

We believe in nurturing the passion for learning and the self-motivation that are evident in the youngest children, but sadly are often allowed to diminish or are even institutionally discouraged in some cases. This school is a place that nourishes those sparks as a matter of our philosophical integrity. And with those sparks in tact, our children can go anywhere!

[Heavenly]

Our children are in private school and we are not well off by any stretch of the imagination. We have had to make sacrifices but it is so worth it! I originally planned to homeschool, and did until this year but my health is not good and it wasn't working out. I love being able to send my children to a place every day where I feel completely confident that they are getting taught in the same way I would and that they are in a loving and safe environment. It is a great school and totally worth it to us. We are planning to rent a townhouse in a housing co-op instead of buying a house because a large chunk of our income goes to private school tuition. We don't go on big vacations (hey, kids love camping!) and we don't buy expensive clothes or food. We pretty much just live lean but the way we see it is that school is such a huge part of their childhood and will shape them in so many ways. We want them to have an awesome school experience so if that means renting a smaller place instead of owning or giving up big vacations then we think it is worth it. Everybody is different as to their priorities but for us this is it.

[yippityskippity]

Try doing an experiment. I assume they allow you to make monthly payments? Pretend that she's enrolled now and stick that money into a savings account every month (around $1,100/mo for 9 mos, right?). See how / if you're able to adjust your budget to still live somewhat comfortably and pay the tuition. I'd do this over several months at least, because it's somewhat easy to suck it up for a month or two. Also, will you still be able to afford to have her participate in extracurriculars she's interested in (sports, scouting, whatever) when she's school age? Will you have an emergency fund? What about saving for college and retirement?

It does sound like a great school, though. I totally understand your enthusiasm.

[tammylsmith]

You've all posted some great points. Well, realistically, I have been looking at our budget. We have a car that will be paid off next year. If we don't get another car (this one is in good shape), that saves $350 per month, which adds up to $4000 over a year. (If I start saving the car payment next year, and homeschool her for kindy, I can have $12,000 saved, enough for more than the first year. If we can get rid of our credit cards, that frees up more money that won't bite into our lives. When I really examine things, I see places we can adjust to make it work. We could stay in our current, small house to keep mortgage payments low. They do offer tuition breaks for parents who help with things like busing and school maintenance, so I can look into that. Also, I only work a few hours a week now. That is always an option. If I work full-time, or even just more hours, I can probably offset the increased output. If I go back to work full time, we can easily afford our current lifestyle plus 2 kids in this school. I think I will not save for college. That will be the exchange. She can go to community college at first, maybe a state school, or scholarships, and we can help her with loans. That is how I got through college and I was just fine. So I guess I could rationalize it that we are paying for early education rather than college... a tradeoff but one I think my daughter will one day come to appreciate. I want her to feel joy in school and pride in her unique personality. That will serve her for the rest of her life!

[tammylsmith]

I was reading their website. No homework. No tests. No grades. Mixed age groups. Lots of art! It is exactly what I would do as a homeschooling mom. They do project-based learning and a lot of it is self-directed.

[tm2840]

I chose to send my kids to a private, early childhood school (3 yrs thru 2nd grade) and thus far I'm SO GLAD I DID. But that philosophical discussion is beyond this question.

I worked... first on my own and then (finally, blessedly) at the school for money. This school also offers "payment in kind" situations (work a day a week, bring in grant money, other ways they can reduce your tuition and effectively "pay you" to work there, enabling your kids to attend). This seems to work best in alternative environments though...

I plan to focus my money (and my spending) on their formative years - there is no way I can afford to put my kids thru multiple years of private schools. And our personalities wouldn't mesh well for homeschooling. My plans are to do the things I can to get my kids started on the right track, pay as needed to give them those skills, and then they can go "free" to public school. While I save for college! That plan (firm foundation then minor supplementing of public schools) works because of where we are... not great public schools, but they are okay for motivated kids with involved parents.

I often tell parents (in my job at this awesome private school) that we all do the best we can and that kids are pretty resilient. And most importantly - very few decisions are irreversible. The wrong school is unlikely to doom our children to a life of misery (halfway tongue in cheek there), and if our choice isn't working, well, we can change our decision and adjust!

[wifeandmom]

Honestly, I have no idea how people do it on a limited income, especially if they have more than one or two kids. We are in the top 5% of earners, maybe the top 2-3%, I'm not sure. Either way, it's still going to take some planning for us to do private school.

The school our kids are going to next year is roughly $8K per child per year. A bargain, for sure, but with four kids, that's A LOT of money.

Only three are old enough for school right now, so we get to *ease* into this thing by paying right at $2K per month til the youngest is ready to go as well. Then, with four there, it will officially cost more than our mortgage. I suppose the fact that our mortgage is about 1/2 of what most of the people we know in our income bracket have really helps.

We are convinced it will be worth it.