Regreting weaning (PLW)...now odd behaviors. What to do?

[inimeg81]

I'd love some advice if anyone can help. I weaned my 3-yr-old in October, mainly because he was still nursing all night, we'd been TTC for 6 months, and I was not ovulating. He definitely wasn't ready, but everyone I know encouraged me, saying he was old enough, blah blah, you all have heard it too, I'm sure.

Ever since we weaned, which I thought was surprisingly easy, he's been obsessed with my breasts. When I get undressed or take a bath with him, he yells excitedly, "boobies!" We thought it was initally hilarious, but now all he wants to do is touch, hug, and kiss my breast...constantly. I let him because I figure this is what he needs, since his mommy forcibly took away his mommy milk, but it feels so odd when my 3.5yr-old asks me politely, "can I touch your boobies, mommy? Can I hug them? I love your boobies, mommy." Um, okay.

I'm comletely out of milk (and 14 weeks pregnant, yay!) but he still wants to suck for comfort, and I let him occasionally. I feel like I'm sending him mixed messages now.

Am I doing the right thing? Obviously, he wasn't ready to wean and he's showing me this by his behaviors, right? Do I just continue to let him constantly touch and kiss them? It's difficult to avoid the hand down the shirt when I'm just sitting next to him , but this is what he needs, right? Or is it best to gently discourage that behavior? It just feels so inappropriate when my 3.5yr-old gets so excited to kiss my boobs, you know? Ack, I'm just confused. Any advice? Sorry this is a novel!

[EdnaMarie]

My two year old was weaned when I got pregnant. She is pretty keen on my breasts but she does not want to nurse. Even when I let her try she does not nurse. But she does love to touch them. They are her lovey. She has another lovey but it's not the same. That said, she is younger and a girl so from a cultural perspective, it's easier to deal.

I don't know if you are doing the right thing. I ask my daughter to stop when I feel uncomfortable.

[pixiepunk]

i recently weaned my 3.5 yo - he was down to 1x a day and not every day, so i don't know if our situations are exactly the same. but even when he was still nursing he was ga-ga over my breasts, and we've had to have talks about not grabbing them without asking, etc. one thing that has helped a little is that he likes to "pretend nurse" - i pick him up and snuggle him like we're nursing and he makes little sipping noises so now, as long as we're not in the store or something, if he starts to grab my breasts i ask him if he wants to 'pretend nurse' which he does for like 5 seconds and then he's off to do his 3 yo thing again. so perhaps the pretend nursing will work for you?

i have nursed 2 through pregnancy and beyond. it has its ups and downs. but if you think you are prepared to do that, then i certainly don't think there's any harm in letting him nurse again, especially if it helps get rid of a behavior that is making you uncomfortable and provides him with a more appropriate outlet for his needs. it might be that he just wants to know that he can nurse if he wants to, and he might not do it for very long once the novelty wears off.

[phoenixrisen]

I don't think there is anything wrong with lovingly teaching your child what you consider the appropriate way to treat your body. It sounds as though he is just figuring out this new way to still "have" his nursies, but without actually nursing any longer.
Maybe he wasn't ready to wean, but I'm not sure that means he gets to now do whatever he wants with them if it makes you uncomfortable. Gently show him the ways you would like to connect.
Congrats on nursing for 3 years!

[inimeg81]

Awww, thank you all.

EdnaMarie, that's the word I was thinking. He's using them as a lovey. I do think that I need to place more limits on it.

pixiepunk, it's nice to hear another 3.5 yr-old does similar things. I hadn't considered tandem nursing, but we might do it. Hmmm, things to consider.

phoenixrisen, I love the way you put that: "lovingly teaching your child what you consider the appropriate way to treat your body". That puts it in perspective and exactly what I want to do. Thank you!

So this is hard and embarassing to say, since I guess it feels like I have issues, but his obsession with my breasts feels weird because he's male. I know that it's not sexual, but that part makes it seem so uncomfortable to me. Like it's "wrong" to have my 3-yr-old boy rubbing them, but it wouldn't be if I had a girl. And that really, really bothers me that I would feel that way. He's just a baby, but why does it seem so inappropriate? I guess it's MY issue, rather than his. Sigh....I just need to work on boundaries with touching, I suppose. Thanks for the reassurance and the advice!

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by inimeg81

I'd love some advice if anyone can help. I weaned my 3-yr-old in October, mainly because he was still nursing all night, we'd been TTC for 6 months, and I was not ovulating. He definitely wasn't ready, but everyone I know encouraged me, saying he was old enough, blah blah, you all have heard it too, I'm sure.

Ever since we weaned, which I thought was surprisingly easy, he's been obsessed with my breasts. When I get undressed or take a bath with him, he yells excitedly, "boobies!" We thought it was initally hilarious, but now all he wants to do is touch, hug, and kiss my breast...constantly. I let him because I figure this is what he needs, since his mommy forcibly took away his mommy milk, but it feels so odd when my 3.5yr-old asks me politely, "can I touch your boobies, mommy? Can I hug them? I love your boobies, mommy." Um, okay.

I'm comletely out of milk (and 14 weeks pregnant, yay!) but he still wants to suck for comfort, and I let him occasionally. I feel like I'm sending him mixed messages now.

Am I doing the right thing? Obviously, he wasn't ready to wean and he's showing me this by his behaviors, right? Do I just continue to let him constantly touch and kiss them? It's difficult to avoid the hand down the shirt when I'm just sitting next to him , but this is what he needs, right? Or is it best to gently discourage that behavior? It just feels so inappropriate when my 3.5yr-old gets so excited to kiss my boobs, you know? Ack, I'm just confused. Any advice? Sorry this is a novel!

My 3.5 year old is in love with my boobs, too. She holds them in her hands, kisses them, rubs her cheek on them, and announces quite regulary, "mommy I love horse (your(s)) boobs!!!"

(yeah, apparently I have horse boobs)

She still nurses when she wants to, which isn't very often.