Working at a daycare and hating it - Page 3

[samy23]

Originally Posted by CultivatingMyRoots

You are a mandated reporter and you are actually in violation of the law and contract to NOT have reported her continued disregard for regulations and BASIC CHILD SAFETY!


PLEASE report this woman, you are leaving children in a dangerous situation, and pawning the responsibility off on the next assistant. Even if you weren't mandated, as a mother how can you let other women's children be put at risk like that?

Good on you for telling the mom, and I hope you get licensed and she continues her son in YOUR care. But it makes my heart hurt to think you can walk away and turn a blind eye for the rest of the kids left with the DCP.

: all of that, especially the last bolded part. You really should report this place, if God forbid something happens to one of those children while in her care, how are you going to feel knowing you could have tried preventing it? Is it really that difficult for you to pick up the phone and report her?? Seriously, I don't get it. JUST DO IT !!!! for the children's sakes

[KCMommy]

Originally Posted by samy23

: all of that, especially the last bolded part. You really should report this place, if God forbid something happens to one of those children while in her care, how are you going to feel knowing you could have tried preventing it? Is it really that difficult for you to pick up the phone and report her?? Seriously, I don't get it. JUST DO IT !!!! for the children's sakes

Although I disagree with a lot of her techniques and don't like her facility, the only thing she is doing now that appears to be against regulations is leaving me alone with too many kids. While that is not something I would ever do, if I was director, I don't think it is immediately threatening the safety of any of the children (now that she has a phone, anyway). My biggest concern with being left with 11 children is that I am simply not capable of meeting all their needs effectively. You just can't comfort, change, feed, and play with that many young children at once.

As an outsider, it is a lot easier to say "just report her". I'm not sure.. maybe there are some cultural differences at play here? Sneaking behind an employer's back and reporting them to authorities is universally reprehensible in my circle of friends/family. Samy23, are you in the States? I understand that the culture there is considerably more litigious. Perhaps this culture carries over into matters like this?

I don't know, and I hate that I am in this position. But I feel that I did my duty, by telling the mother of the infant that her son was inadequately cared for. She has pulled him out of the program. I only have to stay on until the director finds another employee, then I can focus on developing my own quality program.

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by KCMommy

As an outsider, it is a lot easier to say "just report her". I'm not sure.. maybe there are some cultural differences at play here? Sneaking behind an employer's back and reporting them to authorities is universally reprehensible in my circle of friends/family. Samy23, are you in the States? I understand that the culture there is considerably more litigious. I've heard that if someone slips on your icy walk in the usa, you are very likely to be sued. That would be extremely abnormal in my area of Canada. Perhaps this culture carries over into matters like this?

If an employer is endangering children, in the States it is considered reprehensible not to report them. I don't see what that has to do with litigiousness or lack thereof. And I am having a hard time believing that Canadians in general really value employee loyalty over children's safety. In the States we also tend not to report minor violations of the law that don't endanger anyone, or that endanger only ourselves. But if they endanger helpless children, that is a completely different story. There is a safety reason for the required ratios.

I don't want to invade anyone's privacy so I will stay non-specific, but I happen to know that one of the posters here who has told you that you MUST report the violations is a fellow Canadian. (Canadian poster, pm me if you want me to edit this paragraph away and I'll do it, OK?)

[~pi]

Originally Posted by KCMommy

Although I disagree with a lot of her techniques and don't like her facility, the only thing she is doing now that appears to be against regulations is leaving me alone with too many kids. While that is not something I would ever do, if I was director, I don't think it is immediately threatening the safety of any of the children (now that she has a phone, anyway). My biggest concern with being left with 11 children is that I am simply not capable of meeting all their needs effectively. You just can't comfort, change, feed, and play with that many young children at once.

As an outsider, it is a lot easier to say "just report her". I'm not sure.. maybe there are some cultural differences at play here? Sneaking behind an employer's back and reporting them to authorities is universally reprehensible in my circle of friends/family. Samy23, are you in the States? I understand that the culture there is considerably more litigious. Perhaps this culture carries over into matters like this?

I don't know, and I hate that I am in this position. But I feel that I did my duty, by telling the mother of the infant that her son was inadequately cared for. She has pulled him out of the program. I only have to stay on until the director finds another employee, then I can focus on developing my own quality program.

If I were left alone with 11 children, one of my safety concerns would be what on earth I would do if there were to be some sort of emergency such as a fire. How is someone going to wrangle 11 children in that situation? This really is a safety concern.

I am Canadian and I think you are mistaken about cultural issues here. Simply the fact that you feel that you, "have to stay on until the director finds another employee," suggests this is a personal issue for you -- you have a unusually strong sense of loyalty to your direct employer and that is drowning out your sense of responsibility to the children in your care.

mama. I don't mean to be harsh here, but this really does sound troublesome.

[shelley4]

i am canadian and a home daycare provider who has previously worked in some very bad daycare centres.. both large and small ones.

in canada, everyone is a mandated reporter.. if anyone suspects that any child is being abused at any time, you must report. being left alone with 11-12 children IS abuse.. it's neglect.. neglect to meet the basic needs of all of the children. and especially if one of them gets injured.. how in the world would you be able to deal with a serious cut or a broken bone, PLUS 11 more children? impossible.

in canada, the ratios are 1:3 for infants, 1:5 for toddlers, 1:8 for preschoolers and 1:12 for school agers. .. but you must follow the ratios for the youngest group.

i don't understand why you feel so much loyalty to such an awful dcp. i am so glad you alerted the baby's mother.

[StarJune]

Just found this thread and hoped that there was an update that you filed an anonymous complaint to your Ministry licensing office. They will drop by unannounced and it will be on file for future reference if there are any serious occurrences later.

I really feel that it is your responsibility to protect those children and future children attending the day care. Ratio needs to be met and some of the other things may be gray areas but still terms and conditions can be applied to address these things if the Licensing Inspector sees fit. As licenses will now be posted online in my province this provides transparency and the ability for parents to know what they are getting into with providers.

Please consider calling even now. If you let me know what province you are in I can look up the contact information for you.

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by ~pi

:

I would absolutely tell the mom. If you can't figure out how to do it in person, perhaps you could slip a note in her baby's diaper bag?

OP. It could be awkward for you, but IMHO, you would be doing the right thing by the children in addressing these issues and reporting the reg violations.

edited b/c i already replied to this thread a long time ago. but OP, what was the outcome?

[noah's mom]

ETA: Just realized how old the original posts are...so I am hopeful that you did end up reporting the director. And if not (yet), all my reasons below for doing so, even after this length of time (b/c it's the kids "left behind" that matter!), still stand.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just want to second (and 3rd, and 4th, and 5th...) EVERYONE who has said to PLEASE report this "director" to the appropriate agency. First of all, as a mandatory reporter you are REQUIRED to report the neglect of the 4-month-old (which it definitely is - leaving a 4mo unattended in a crib for hours with no stimulation, crying or not, would be considered neglect in any book).

And as others have said, what about the kids you are leaving behind? Even though the mother of the 4-month-old has pulled her child from the center, what if the director replaces that baby with another infant, just to neglect him/her as well...you're allowing her to perpetuate the cycle. And that is just wrong. And heartbreaking to think about.

I know it's a difficult thing to do, but I am speaking from experience b/c I've had to do it myself, with a previous daycare - DS1 (3 at the time) and DS2 (8 mos at the time) were in a home daycare and the provider took in an additional infant "on the sly" (I say this b/c I found out entirely by accident after the child had been there for over a month - this 10-week-old baby just happened to still be there one day when I came to pick up my kids). I confronted the provider on the spot and he gave me this story about how he had gotten special permission from the licensing agency to have additional infants (in our state, family child care homes are typically not allowed to have more than 2 infants under 12mos in care - and he had my son plus his own DD, who was a couple months younger, in care already). And then when I dug deeper and finally got the truth out of him, he BEGGED me not to call his licensor (!). I reported him to the licensor next morning and pulled my kids the following day. He did end up getting cited, but is still in business. I do believe he has changed his practices but the truly sad thing about it is that my gut tells me to this day that he is only in for the money - which sounds a lot like your center director as well.

I shared the above to make a point that I reported a provider for much "lesser" offenses than you have described (there was no immediate danger to my son that I could see, but I had other concerns about his ability to care for infants, and adding yet another infant to the mix could only make it worse), because I didn't want to leave the "problem" for someone else to deal with, or for future parents to go in and be unaware of.

Keep in mind that your job is to protect those kids and help them to be in a situation where they get the best care possible - NOT to protect your employer who is breaking the law and hurting young children. Sure, most of the offenses are not code violations, but wouldn't you want to help create a more positive care environment for the kids regardless? These kids cannot speak for themselves about what their days are like - so you have a responsibility to speak for them.

Just my .02 - HTH.

[lynsage]

Ok, the daycare I worked at (which I LOVED) was pretty AP so I might be a little biased, but no, that's not normal or okay and I think that if your heart wants you out of that place, you should leave there.

[Hey Mama!]

OMG report her now! Where in the heck is she going that she leaves you with that many children daily? When I worked in a daycare we could not have an age gap of more than 18 months from youngest to oldest for more then and hour max during the drop off and pick up times. I just don't understand you resistance to this. Imagine leaving your children there day after day and not knowing that this goes on.

[KCMommy]

Wow, this is an old ressurected thread! I am the OP and just noticed this thread had been revived. I guess an update is in order:

I did call the mother of the young infant, who did pull him out of the daycare. She and some other parents (with unrelated concerns that I had nothing to do with) filed complaints and an investigation was conducted. During the investigation I was questioned and responded honestly without covering up for my employer. I have no idea how things turned out because I resigned and have already started my own very AP daycare.

Thanks for the comments. Way back when I was dealing with this ethical dillema, it was the consensus of this forum and also of my IRL family that helped me to do what I feel was the right thing, by contacting the mother.

[RiverSky]

What a fantastic update! Thanks!

[monkeybum]

:-)

[noah's mom]

Thanks for the update! I'm glad an investigation was conducted.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by KCMommy

Here is the worst one, though....A little 4 mo infant is left to cry for AGES and she won't let me pick him up, even if I am not busy.

that alone would kill me I had my oldest DD in daycare when she was an infant and walked in a few times and noticed they propped their bottles up to feed multiple babies at one time and they let them CIO until they could get around to each baby. My DD had red eyes most days I picked her up. It was tough on me.