Queer and Pregnant Mar., Apr., May - Page 3

[jodybird511]

I'm with Jenn. I was an avid coffee drinker prior to becoming pregnant. Since about 5 weeks pregnant, I haven't been able to stomach even the smell of coffee. I had been doing decaf for several months, so giving up the caffeine wasn't so much of an issue when I gave it up completely.

[DM630]

DP's parents are scheduled to return to NH from FL in the beginning of April, they don't know that I am pregnant or that we were even trying. DP doesn't know if it is best to tell them over the phone or wait til they are here and tell them in person. They were not happy about our civil union this past fall, however they did go. DP's brother and sister are conservative and religious and don't support our "lifestyle". I feel so bad for DP, because everyone else in our lives have been so supportive, there is just an unknown with her family. Her parents may be ok, the others I am not so sure.

I am wondering if anyone had any issues with coming out/announcing pregnancy at work. My co-workers all know I am queer, however I am a social worker doing in home family therapy and I don't come out to my clients. It is always hard when they ask about a husband, however now it is just assumed and I am not sure how to respond.

I am almost 18 weeks, and feeling good. Our ultrasound is scheduled for 3/30, I can't wait. I think that I have been feeling the baby, but I am not positive

[Raene]

Originally Posted by DM630

DP's parents are scheduled to return to NH from FL in the beginning of April, they don't know that I am pregnant or that we were even trying. DP doesn't know if it is best to tell them over the phone or wait til they are here and tell them in person. They were not happy about our civil union this past fall, however they did go. DP's brother and sister are conservative and religious and don't support our "lifestyle". I feel so bad for DP, because everyone else in our lives have been so supportive, there is just an unknown with her family. Her parents may be ok, the others I am not so sure.

I am wondering if anyone had any issues with coming out/announcing pregnancy at work. My co-workers all know I am queer, however I am a social worker doing in home family therapy and I don't come out to my clients. It is always hard when they ask about a husband, however now it is just assumed and I am not sure how to respond.

I am almost 18 weeks, and feeling good. Our ultrasound is scheduled for 3/30, I can't wait. I think that I have been feeling the baby, but I am not positive

In my experience, religious people do not like our lifestyle but they love our children. This was at least the case with my very conservative Christian in-laws who refused to go to our wedding but are excited about the upcoming baby. They did have to go to therapy (Christian therapy) to be okay with my daughter calling them grandma/grandpa (maybe b/c she wasn't in their lives until she was 3, so it was harder for them...and they think blood relations mean more). Anyway, I personally if I were you might do this on the phone. If they get upset in person seeing your belly, that would be more stressful to your and your little one. At least on the phone, you have an escape.

Sorry I don't have advice for coming out. I hide behind the fact that my partner is trans, so I just use "he" pronouns, but if they have seen him, they usually call him "she" since he's not been on hormones. Plus, I work at a very liberal place anyway, so I guess it wouldn't be a problem. I'm sure you'll be fine though and hopefully someone with better advice will offer some

Exciting about the ultrasound...are you interested in finding out the sex, or are you looking forward to a surprise?

[heart-n-bones]

DM - I would tell your DP's parents over the phone first. My DP's parents were not at all supportive. They did not come to our wedding and are only marginally accepting of me in the family. DP told her mom over the phone, which I think gave her time to have her reaction (which was very negative), express her opinion to DP (that we should never have done that), and process it before we actually had to spend time together in person. It was much better for me, as the pregnant person, to not have to take in the stress of being around someone who was not at all supportive. By the next time we actually saw them in person, she was able to keep her opinion to herself and interact civilly with me.

As for the work thing, sounds like we do similar work. I am also out to all my co-workers and they're fine with me, but I don't come out to clients. I wear a wedding band, so I assume that they all assume I have a husband. Hardly anyone has ever asked about it. (Actually, since I work for a Catholic agency, many of my clients think I'm a nun! but that's another story.) When they do it's more like "What does our husband do?" And I'm pretty good at talking about DP without using pronouns. Surprisingly, many of them are just now noticing that I am pregnant, even though I've been showing for quite awhile. I don't bring up personal stuff with my clients, so unless they ask, I haven't talked about my pregnancy. Only one person has asked anything about "my husband" in relation to the pregnancy. She asked if the baby was a boy would it be named after my husband. I responded that the baby would be named after his father (which is the truth, we're naming the baby after DP's brother, our donor). I guess for me, I've just decided that it's fine with me if my clients assume I have a husband. And if someday I am stuck and have to use male pronouns to speak about my DP, it's not the end of the world. I've decided that it's not something forced upon me. I could tell them that my partner is a woman, but I am making a professional choice to keep that part of my personal life private.

Good luck with both situations!

[2happymamas]

Has anyone heard from Pranava?

[pranava]

Hello! I'm here and still pregnant. . . Here's a story for the baby book - my friends convinced me that loud music and dancing might bring labor on, so I was at the bar till 3am yesterday at 40 weeks pregnant Highly unusual I know, but it didn't work. At least it was fun!

[smartycat]

Originally Posted by pranava

Hello! I'm here and still pregnant. . . Here's a story for the baby book - my friends convinced me that loud music and dancing might bring labor on, so I was at the bar till 3am yesterday at 40 weeks pregnant Highly unusual I know, but it didn't work. At least it was fun!

: :

Sounds like a great time and like you have great friends.

I'm also wondering about giggleblue.


AAU: Well, we had the nursery mostly put together but then I realized it was just because we had shoved everything in the closet. So I then took it all out of the closet in an attempt to reorganize but instead, I just have a room full of stuff!

[lexbeach]

I checked in on giggleblue's wife's blog this morning and it sounds like labor has begun!! :::

Wishing you all the best, giggleblue (and TL)! Can't wait to hear about Pepita's arrival!



Lex

[indigoscot]

good luck giggleblue and tl! i hope your labour and delivery experience is everything you hoped it would be.

g

[pranava]

GiggleBlue Where are you!!! Lex do you have any news for us?

Had my weekly midwife appt. this morning. 3+cm dilated and 80% effaced, so all those Braxton Hicks must be doing something. She stripped my membranes, so I've got my fingers crossed for a lucky St. Patrick's day baby!

[lexbeach]

Originally Posted by pranava

GiggleBlue Where are you!!! Lex do you have any news for us?

Baby is HERE! I'll let Giggleblue share the details.

Yippee!

Congratulations!!



Lex

[2happymamas]

Originally Posted by lexbeach

Baby is HERE! I'll let Giggleblue share the details.

Yippee!

Congratulations!!



Lex

I, too, have been stalking the blog and read a few hours ago that baby is here!

Welcome, baby!

[JennM1021]

I can't wait to get some details!!! So exciting!!!!

Pranava...sending all my Irish vibes your way for a lucky St. Patty's day baby!!!!

[smartycat]

Yes, I saw the blog entry and keep coming here looking for baby news.

How are you Pranava? .... oh, maybe if I read your whole post I would know... I'm an idiot. Can I have pregancy brain?

[smartycat]

For anyone interested, here is the link to the Birth Announcement on giggleblue's wife's blog.

::Congrats GiggleBlue and Family!!! ::

Enjoy the babymoon and we look forward to hearing from you soon... oh and seeing pictures too!!

[indigoscot]

congrats giggleblue, tl and new baby!!!! :

g

[pranava]

Happy Birthday Baby A!!! What a birth story! I'm so glad that you are all doing well now.

:

Can it be my turn now?

[heart-n-bones]

Yay!! : : : COngratulations Giggleblue!!

Pranava - to get the labor going!

[JennM1021]

Welcome Baby A!!!!! How exciting!!!!! :::

So, someone please re-assure me...it's too early to be worried about decreased movement, right? I'm almost 25 weeks...and the past few weeks or so...Alex has been moving around like a madman in there! Tumbling...kicking...anything and everything. Usually on the weekends he's more quiet. Maybe because I'm more active...or I'm just not paying as much attention because I'm busy. Anyway, usually by Monday...he's right back at it. But, yesterday and today...I've felt very little movement. It's still there...just not nearly as frequent...and much fainter. Is it too early for me to be concerned about this or should I call my Dr??? Oh...it's probably worth mentioning that I have anterior placenta...so maybe he's just moved into a spot that makes it more difficult for me to feel??

[indigoscot]

jenn, if you are worried, call your ob. i had 2 visits to the l&d ward while pregnant with our son because his movement decreased a LOT. they didn't think i was weird or stupid and each time he started bopping around as soon as they had the fetal monitor attached!

the nurses always told me better to check than worry myself sick.

edited to add that i was further along than you, at least 30+ weeks.

g