~*~ Spring 2009 IVF Thread ~*~ - Page 3

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Child ment.

There are quite a few posters here I recognize... which is nice and I hope it's "the" cycle for all of us...

So hi, for the others, I'm Perdita, and I'm an IVF meds junkie...

I'm starting my 4th IVF round (1st cycle successful, 2nd cycle cancelled when embryo growth arrested in vitro, 3rd cycle unsuccessful) - I'll likely be calling in my Day 1 tomorrow, if AF cooperates with full flow, and get my schedule. I "pre-arranged" a schedule with the nurses last month, as I am taking a leave of absence from work, and assuming that the schedule still works for the clinic, I'll start the stims around April 3. I'll be taking Puregon and Repronex (the Repronex is new for me this cycle).

This has to work this time. I don't think I can do it again. I weaned DD in January for this last attempt, and I'm doing what feels right for me in terms of preparation. In my case, I'm not doing acupuncture, although I considered it seriously, because it didn't feel like the appropriate therapy for me, but I will be doing a lot of relaxation therapy - massage, reiki, yoga, tai chi. Although I will be off work for all of April, I will not be taking my daughter out of daycare the 4 days/week she goes, so that I can concentrate on appointments and meditation. I have some minor guilt over this, and I suspect there will be a few "hooky" days...

(oh, and I eat meat, but please don't hold it against me...)

[luckyIVF]

Thanks CRM! I'm feeling a little more calm now. I know I have a long road ahead and I cant start out so blue this early!

Laura and Perdita! Hope your stay is short and sweet!

Laura-I dont really have any advice about insurance. Mine covers 0 for IVF. As far as meds go, my meds sound really different from yours, so I guess I dont have much to offer there either.

Perdita-sorry that you have had so much disappointment in the past. This should be your time! You deserve some self time during this emotional rollercoaster. Sounds like you have experience with this process so it will be great to have you around to talk with on this board!

[Julia'sMom]

CRM - Thanks for the constipation advice. I was wondering when you'd pop in here. :

Wtg - There is always something to worry about with ivf. If your lining/period is causing you concern, I'd go ahead and call the office to see what they say. I do think it will be fine. Like you said, the last cycle was wonky. Also, if your lining isn't thick enough as they expect at the suppression check, then you could always continue lupron for a week or so before starting stims to give it more time. They could also adjust your medication accordingly. Really, I think you'll be ok.

Lucky - Feel free to be a baby about it. We all have those days. It's a struggle I have as well. ivf#1 was picture perfect, only to result in miscarriage and ivf#2 was understim. I too am praying for one more good cycle. Meditation is becoming more and more critical for my sanity.

Perdita - It's nice to "see" you again, although I wish it was in the ddc, instead of here. You're prep work sounds great. I too take some days off and leave dd in daycare. Partly because we have to pay for it anyway, and also because I know she'll have more fun there then with me when I'm trying to get so much done. I hope this is the "one" for you.

Ladylaura - Welcome! As for meds, I have bcp, lupron (leuprodile), repronex & follistim are for stimming, preganyl is the hcg trigger shot, medrol & doxycycline (?) (a steroid and antibiotic for after ER, these are pills, about 5 each), PIO (and yes, you'll need a lot, because you'll probably take it until at least 7 weeks pg, or 12 wks, depending on RE). I also have crinone gel (progesterone suppository), because my "wonderful" RE uses both shots and suppositories. :eyeroll: Check on the novarel, I thought that was the trigger shot, although I could be mistaken. If it is, then just make sure you have your stims. Your RE should be able to give you a copy of their prescription order, so you can take inventory.

All - I'm going to update the first post now. Since this thread is getting busier, if you can bold your changes and schedule info (or send me a pm), I can make sure it's all there. Thanks!

[Julia'sMom]

First post is updated, I think. Please post in bold and revisions or updates you want added

[poetgirl]

Hi All, I had my first u/s and bw today. Lining is still thin from all that bleeding, but it's still early, and the bleeding is finally tapering off. I had a lot of very small follicles, nothing dominant yet (thanks goodness!) and the cysts were even smaller now. They did not seem to get in the way as I had 10 follies on the R and 10 on the L, all around 6mm. After my estradiol comes in, I will get a call about my plan from now til Thurs. No Repronex tonight, so happy about that, I did not like that one. One day at a time. So far so good.

Julia's Mom, Thank you for keeping us all together on here.
I can't believe you're starting already or did I just have a time warp with the long protocol? I am crossing everything all will go smoothly for you.
Q: Do you take Repronex your whole cycle or first 2 days of stims like me?

Perdita, Welcome. I remember you and hope this cycle is successful for you. I'm sorry the road has been way too bumpy. The way you're handling this cycle sounds right on.

CRM, Big to you right now. I'm touched you would come on and impart the constipation wisdom after your week. Lots of care your way.

Lucky, The cancelled cycles are so hard. I remember something my acup. said to me: ART is more of a marathon than a sprint. And we so badly want/need to sprint at this point. I hope this cycle goes really well for you, esp. with all you've learned from the previous ones.

Laura, Welcome. It's my first ivf too, though we've had 8 ART cycles before this. What are you taking as your stim drug?

[wtg4miracle]

CRM--thanks for the advice on preventing constipation. I definately need to up my h2o intake. Thanks for chiming in and helping all of us out.

poetgirl-you and I are opposite, I am not bleeding enough. But it sounds really great that your follies are not getting ahead of themselves this time...

ladylaura-welcome here, this will be my first IVF also. Little nervous. I don't know much about the meds yet. I know lupron will be starting soon. I have to pay everything out of pocket. I will be on bravelle. I will be getting my shipment of drugs in next week. So next week maybe I can help you.

perdita in ontario--welcome here also. Taking time off of work sounds good. I am having a hard time managing my job. I work full-time. Its going to be tough juggling appts. I have to tell my boss soon. Its okay if you eat me@t. I am not affended in no way.

juliasmom-thanks for the reassurance about my lining. I am already starting to find problems and its going to be long haul for me. Everyone here got to bear with me.

luckyivf--how are you feeling?

boojasmon--how are you doing also?

AFM--The head IVF nurse wants me to come in for baseline bw and us tomorrow am. She wanted to see me after I told her of my one day period. ARGH. Can they tell how my lining looks on us? I am afraid my FSH has gone up!! I am worried now. (Even my dh was shocked and is very concern now.) She did tell me that they will give me an exact date to start Lupron when I get my results tomorrow.

[Julia'sMom]

Jennifer - Yeah about lots of follicles and no dominate ones! : Hopefully the rest goes smoothly for you. :

I too feel like it's been a time warp. My neg beta from the last ivf/iui was Feb 24th and I'm already on lupron. It may be because I flat out told the nurse we wanted to go full steam ahead as time is not on our side anymore. : I've been with this RE over a year, and am a bit frustrated. :

I take repronex the entire stimming time. I too dislike it as it always leaves me with a huge red rash at the injection site. I now have a system of L leg, R belly, R leg the L belly and by then hopefully the rash from the L leg is gone so I can start over. :

Wtg Yes, they can tell your lining thickness from the u/s. You can ask while you're in there.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

WTG: good luck with the u/s.

Time warp is a good description of it... it's so weird.

So AF is NOT co-operating. I've been spotting for 3 days (normal for me) but full flow just won't come. I think I'm heading for a 28-day cycle. Now this is interesting, b/c before I got pg with DD, I was almost always 28 days on the nose, and since DD it's been more like 25/26 days. She weaned in January, and then last month it was 27 days, and now... 28? I am hoping that this is a Very Good Sign that my body is receptive to a new life...

Thinking of you all...

[Pearl1]

wtg - good luck with the insurance appeal. i dread having to deal with my insurance company, it is SOO frustrating!

belly - that sounds like a great beta number to me! when is your first u/s?

j'smom - i totally messed up my lupron last time too. i left it at room temp for the whole month i was on it. i asked my RE, and he said it's fine at room temp for up to 6 months. i don't think you did anything that would have screwed it up... thanks for keeping the update updated!

re: the topic of prepping for ivf (diet, exercise, meditation, etc), i just wanted to throw out my $0.02 and concur with some of the earlier posters that i think it's important not to let it become all-consuming (i totally realize that is easier said than done). with ivf, it's so easy to obsess over every detail, especially when you are getting daily updates about what is going on with your follicles and hormone levels, etc. i think it's really important to just put your trust in your body/your doctors and, to whatever extent is possible, let go of the rest -- stay active with your friends, stay connected with your partner/kids/family, stay invovled with your hobbies, go to the movies, get a massage, etc. the mental/emotional aspect is just as important as the physical stuff. . .

looks like we have a lot of people getting started at the same time! here's hoping for a rash of springtime bfps!!! good luck to all!

~sarah

[ladylaura]

Thanks to all of you for responding to my meds question! I was so confused. It turns out I wasn't counting one - I'd put the Gonal-F in the fridge since it came refrigerated. I hope that was the right thing to do. It said it was only good for 28 days at room temp and 3 months in the fridge. So, the novarel IS the trigger shot. And I also got a double order of progesterone, which will come in handy for the next cycle if I need one.... I think it's good through mid-August.

Ugh, I've been having a really hard time dealing with all of this lately. I hate that I have to stay two steps ahead of my insurance company and my doctor's office (because there's only so much they can do with the insurance, I have to do a lot of it myself). So much is weighing on the success of these cycles... I have a better-than-average chance of getting pregnant because of my age (25) and fresh eggs, but we have a higher than normal chance of getting abnormal embryos due to my husband's genetic defect. There's even a chance that a cycle could be cancelled because we get NO normal embryos!

Anyway, I'm struggling to stay positive. Any suggestions? Getting out of bed this morning was not easy...

[wtg4miracle]

ladylaura--I wish I could help you. I am also dealing with many doubts here also. I just keep on thinking why are my tubes damaged. Its hard for me to keep moving also. I try to stay positive (i'm trying very hard) and holding onto some glimmer or sliver of hope. Thats why I have been coming on these boards so I can moan all I want. My biggest fear is when I go in for my beta and find out its negative. It will kill me.....I know I can say do meditation, yoga, AP and massage but none of this will take away fully the wanting and needing a baby. My mind is whirling around, I mean spinning like crazy, wondering why was I chosen to do this.

[booja's mom]

Hi ladies,

Hope you are all doing well.

WTG: I am with you. If my beta is negative am not sure how I will be able to cope. Last time i got very depressed because my doc kept telling me not to worry because we were young etc and I believe him... Man was I stupid...

I am hoping that all my prep with yoga etc will work. I 've ordered a couple of Meditation Cd's form Amazon so I am hoping those will help.

Lady Laura - Welcome. I am so sorry you have so many insurance issues. : for your cycle. We also might have to do PGD if this cycle does not work.

Sarah - Here is hoping for a rash of BFP

Perdita: Welcome. I think we cycled together last time as well. Hang in there Af will show soon.

Poet: I am so happy your follies are doing well.

As for me my case as gone to review again, which means that the protocol which I expected might be flipped on it's head. Last IVF I experienced contractions a couple of days after my implent and my new RE wants me to go on Valium or something like it from the retrival until a week after transfer, which means bed rest. The problem is I am not sure how I am going to explaing this to my DD.

DH is also stressed like hell with work which mean he is not the best support system right now but I don't want to bitch at him because well it's his job that pays the bills and insurance that pays IVF.I guess I should be thankfull that he has a job in this economy.

I have to say that even with my prep I am so so so scared to start this cycle.

[ladylaura]

Originally Posted by wtg4miracle

My biggest fear is when I go in for my beta and find out its negative. It will kill me.....I know I can say do meditation, yoga, AP and massage but none of this will take away fully the wanting and needing a baby. My mind is whirling around, I mean spinning like crazy, wondering why was I chosen to do this.

I hear you. I go around with this face on and people think I'm always happy and cheerful, but then whenever I get a moment alone, or I'm at home, or I look at myself in the mirror, I remember how hard this is and it just HURTS.

I was relatively positive about the entire TTC process up until about three months ago - that's when IVF got delayed for the first time. I'd gotten all excited and had my hopes up. And honestly, I hate how negative I feel about all of this! I'm usually able to always find the bright side. Blah!

[wtg4miracle]

ladylaura--when I am at work I try not to think about it that much. I am so busy at work I can't really harp on my miscomings. When I get home, OMG, the horrible dreaded feelings hit me hard. When I get home after work I would go into the kitchen to get a snack to eat and this is when the horror hits. I get shaky and I feel so numb thinking that I should of had a baby by now. I think of all the people I know had babies or are pregnant now and feel like what the heck is going on. Its so hard to explain in writing the awful feelings that I have, it makes you stop dead in your tracks. Its scary feeling and I hate it. I don't know if its severe depression coming on.

I'm sorry everyone, I just had to let this out. I will try to stay positive for everyone else for now on. (lets see how long this lasts) I just feel like I am loosing it lately. I am at point thinking that they will tell me my ovaries disappeared on the us tomorrow. Thats how degrading all of this has become.

[luckyIVF]

HUGS for everyone!

It looks like a lot of us hit a wall this weekend and today! Thanks everyone for the encouragement! It's so great to have you all to chat with. The only good thing about moods is that they do swing. Hopefully we'll all be more up beat as we get more and more good news!

Poet - ::YAY follies! That sounds like great news!
Thanks for the pep talk! A marathon is a good analogy!

JuliasMom - You've been through so much! Thanks for sharing your journey, it really helps.

Wtg - GL tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you.:

Laura, BoojasM, Wtg- I'm scared too, thanks for sharing:grouph ug!
Sometimes I just need to acknowlege my emotions so I can deal with them! I hate that feeling like if I dont cheer up, I'll somehow ruin my cycle! It just adds pressure and more stress and makes it that much harder to cheer up. Just knowing that we're all going through this makes it so much easier to accept. I really appreciate all of you and hope we can support each other all the way to our DDCs!

[wtg4miracle]

I am in cyst land. Found a few cysts of course. Now I have to be on bcp starting today and then I start Lupron on March 24th. They were not concern about my lining yet.

[Julia'sMom]

Originally Posted by wtg4miracle

I am in cyst land. Found a few cysts of course. Now I have to be on bcp starting today and then I start Lupron on March 24th. They were not concern about my lining yet.

Sorry to hear about the cysts. However, it sounds like you're still on schedule, just with the addition of bcp's. Hopefully that will resolve everything for a smooth journey.

I too had cysts prior to being put on bcp, however my RE said not to worry about them since me E level was so low, they weren't producing. Anyway, just wanted to let you know it's somewhat common and not always a huge deal. I'm hoping they're gone next week : when I have my suppression check.

Perdita I hope that af stopped dorking around and finally showed for you. It's time to get the show on the road!

[SuzyLee]

Hello all.. I am new to this group. We have just started pursueing IVF not for infertility but because my husband and son have a genetic condition (NF1) that we would like avoid for our next baby, so we will be doing PGD.

It all sort of hinges on if insurance will cover IVF since technically I am not infertile. I don't want to get my hopes up that we can do this, and then find out we won't be covered.

I contacted a clinic yesterday to start getting information and that was a big scary step. We are hoping to try this summer sometime. The whole thing is overwhelming.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Hi Sue - welcome! And yes, it's incredibly overwhelming. Even some of us veterans feel it's overwhelming too... not much you can do but get on the ride and hold on...

WTG - frustrating about the cysts!

AF finally showed up this morning - 28 day cycle. I'm taking this as a cosmic sign that I'm ready (and a validation that weaning DD was the thing to do as clearly my body wasn't on track before). So I've called it in, and am awaiting the call back to tell me my schedule.

I have been avoiding all things nursing and maternity (not checking out breastfeeding forums, not thinking about maternity stuff, etc) in an effort not to "jinx" anything, but a good friend recently mentioned the Universal Law of Attraction, and that "putting it out there to the cosmos" that I really want this might actually be beneficial. So I spent some time surfing nursingwear sites last night LOL.

Hope everyone's doing well... hang in there all!

[booja's mom]

Suzy Lee - Welcome! Hope your insurance stuff gets resolved easily.

WTG - I am so sorry about the Cysts

Perdita - I would never say this in any other board but hurray for AF.

I wanted to apologize for my rant yesterday not sure what was going on in my very confused mind. It is a blessing to have all of your to chat with.

Happy Tuesday !